Anonymous wrote:Men are not loved unconditionally is the answer. Not like women and children are. Even the best examples here the woman would lose attraction if the guy started acting whiny or had a mental health crisis or some other thing.

Women are loved unconditionally? By whom? Every post by an unhappy wife results in “but did you get fat” and “how often do you put out” comments. SAHMs are called lazy leeches. WOHMs are bad mothers and neglectful wives.

Anonymous wrote:That is seriously one of the most depressing thread questions ever. I absolutely love everything about DH- nothing to do with his money, job, salary or material possessions. I like his brain, his kindness, how hardworking he is and how much fun we have together. (Although I guess those are all things he brings to the table?) Married 15 years

This is not uncommon at all. We all bring something to the table, whether it’s a good sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, ambition, etc etc etc. It seems to me that some men are under the impression that because women are often pursued for sex, even if they are horrible people, they are valued more. I do not see this as being loved or genuinely valued at all.

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Anonymous wrote:You were fat. Breaking news: you got ignored.

But this is the whole point. OP and other men are whining about how no woman will love a man who doesn't have wealth and status, while ignoring the women with a BMI of 26 who would happily and unconditionally love a man without wealth and status. It's because they don't see those women.

Man are much more likely, MUCH, to go for appearance than women are to go for wealth. Also, they are more competitive within their gender, meaning they want the most attractive women in part to solidify their ranking with other men.

That is seriously one of the most depressing thread questions ever. I absolutely love everything about DH- nothing to do with his money, job, salary or material possessions. I like his brain, his kindness, how hardworking he is and how much fun we have together. (Although I guess those are all things he brings to the table?) Married 15 years

Anonymous wrote:All of these posts about guys they married when they had nothing are besides the point. You knew when you married them that they were hardworking and ambitious -- hence, they WERE bringing something to the table.

Your stories aren't relevant.

Nope. I’m the PP whose husband was waiting tables when we met. Holding down a job doesn’t mean someone is hardworking or ambitious.

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Anonymous wrote:Men are not loved unconditionally is the answer. Not like women and children are. Even the best examples here the woman would lose attraction if the guy started acting whiny or had a mental health crisis or some other thing.

In what universe are women loved unconditionally? Certainly not in mine.

Right?

+1

And I'll say that I'm not sure we should necessarily be loved unconditionally? If I had no job and sent the kids to boarding school and spent all my time shopping and traveling, I wouldn't think I was still entitled to be loved (just because that's not my husband's thing, I know some men do want a situation like that).

Yeah, I don’t completely understand the point being made. Both men and women have standards and seek out other people to couple with who meet those standards. I don’t think this is gendered.

I think women are more consistently and aggressively pursued, hit on, and checked out by the opposite sex but this does not mean loved or respected and it certainly has nothing to do with long term or unconditional love

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are not loved unconditionally is the answer. Not like women and children are. Even the best examples here the woman would lose attraction if the guy started acting whiny or had a mental health crisis or some other thing.

In what universe are women loved unconditionally? Certainly not in mine.

Right?

+1

And I'll say that I'm not sure we should necessarily be loved unconditionally? If I had no job and sent the kids to boarding school and spent all my time shopping and traveling, I wouldn't think I was still entitled to be loved (just because that's not my husband's thing, I know some men do want a situation like that).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are not loved unconditionally is the answer. Not like women and children are. Even the best examples here the woman would lose attraction if the guy started acting whiny or had a mental health crisis or some other thing.

In what universe are women loved unconditionally? Certainly not in mine.

Right?

Anonymous wrote:You were fat. Breaking news: you got ignored.

But this is the whole point. OP and other men are whining about how no woman will love a man who doesn't have wealth and status, while ignoring the women with a BMI of 26 who would happily and unconditionally love a man without wealth and status. It's because they don't see those women.

To be fair, most worldly smart men want their women to be compatible in education and potential, some even in income and finances. Nobody want someone with high debt or ruined credit.

Both men and women are capable of unconditional love.

Anonymous wrote:You were fat. Breaking news: you got ignored.

I know! And I could say "you were unemployed. Breaking news: you got ignored."

You were fat. Breaking news: you got ignored.

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I think a lot of men think all women are materialistic and only go for a certain type of man because they literally don't see the women *they* aren't interested in.

Let’s not forget that a great many perfectly normal and acceptable men are totally invisible to women.

And a great many perfectly normal and acceptable women are invisible to men.

Normal, no, they aren’t invisible.

Ha see this is what men think. They have this idea that women constantly get praise and hit on and attention because they think they are seeing all women. But I went though years of my life where I never got the attention of men at all, unless it was negative attention. I was chubby and didn't know how to do my hair, so men just skipped over me and talked to my pretty friends. I guess I can't say they totally ignored me; many were cordial. But I would hear them talk about how women got all this attention from men but the women only wanted tall guys with promising careers, and I was like "hello! I'm right here!"

And then I lost weight and figured out how to do my hair and I had a steady stream of boyfriends for years until I got married.

I am not complaining or bitter. I don't think men owe me their attention and I honestly don't blame them for not being attracted to me. But I know my story isn't unique and to say that some women aren't invisible (in the romantic sense) to men is laughable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think a lot of men think all women are materialistic and only go for a certain type of man because they literally don't see the women *they* aren't interested in.

Let’s not forget that a great many perfectly normal and acceptable men are totally invisible to women.

And a great many perfectly normal and acceptable women are invisible to men.

Normal, no, they aren’t invisible.