Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 22:39     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
Anonymous wrote:Do you see any issues with a long-term relationship/marriage when the woman is a few years (e.g., 3) older than the man? For example she is 42 and he is 39.

I am in this situation now (we're both divorced with similar age kids), and I see potential for a long relationship, although he has made a few jokes about me being older and maybe I'm slightly self-conscious about it.


What?

My husband was 5 yrs younger. He died first so now I date 8-10 yrs younger
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 20:54     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
Literally the only time it comes up is when a song comes on and I say I saw this band in college and he says he had the CD in high school.

The difference felt like more when we first met, because he was living at home and I had my own place.

It is not even a tiny, slight issue. He even has more gray than I do.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 20:49     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The one guy I know who was married to a woman almost exactly three years older got divorced after about five or six years and two kids. He is now remarried to a woman 14 years younger. Sort of went from one extreme to another.


WTF? You think a guy marrying a woman who is only 3 years older is as extreme as a guy marrying a woman 14 years younger? Misogynist and ageist much?


I’m one of the PPs (two years older than DH). This made me think about my mom’s good friend - she married a man who was about 25 years older than her (they were about 25/ 50 marriage). He had kids and didn’t want more. Sadly he died around age 60. A few years later she met a man about 14 years younger than her. (I think they were something like 22 and 36.) They are married with teen-ages kids (she had her kids in late 30s / early 40s). As far as I’m aware each marriage had its up and downs but she was / is happy with both husbands.


Marrying a person only 3 years older/younger than you is not extreme. Hell, you were even in HS at the same time. Marrying someone who, age wise, is old enough to be your parent is extreme. Whether the couples were happy together or not has nothing to do with the defining a 3 year age difference as extreme as 14 years.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 17:38     Subject: Re:Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
Pp here - I realize I have the timelines a little off. She was widowed 3-4 years before remarrying.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 17:37     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The one guy I know who was married to a woman almost exactly three years older got divorced after about five or six years and two kids. He is now remarried to a woman 14 years younger. Sort of went from one extreme to another.


WTF? You think a guy marrying a woman who is only 3 years older is as extreme as a guy marrying a woman 14 years younger? Misogynist and ageist much?


I’m one of the PPs (two years older than DH). This made me think about my mom’s good friend - she married a man who was about 25 years older than her (they were about 25/ 50 marriage). He had kids and didn’t want more. Sadly he died around age 60. A few years later she met a man about 14 years younger than her. (I think they were something like 22 and 36.) They are married with teen-ages kids (she had her kids in late 30s / early 40s). As far as I’m aware each marriage had its up and downs but she was / is happy with both husbands.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 14:01     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
Anonymous wrote:The one guy I know who was married to a woman almost exactly three years older got divorced after about five or six years and two kids. He is now remarried to a woman 14 years younger. Sort of went from one extreme to another.


WTF? You think a guy marrying a woman who is only 3 years older is as extreme as a guy marrying a woman 14 years younger? Misogynist and ageist much?
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 14:00     Subject: Re:Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
I'm 3.5 years older than my DH. We met when he was 26 and I was 29. Been married 25 years and the age difference has never been an issue in our relationship. We're very compatible, understand the same generational references, etc. We have some different tastes in music but I attribute that to growing up in different areas of the country. There's a lot of music we both enjoy.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 13:00     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
How is this even a question? Do you live in the Bible Belt oP?
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 12:21     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
I pay so little attention to what exact age my friends or strangers look like. I would have no idea if someone is 41 or 44. You aren’t going to look like his mother, you are 3 years older! This is a wild thing to be concerned about.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 12:14     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
A few years?? Come on, this is nothing as a grown adult. A few years younger or older in either direction for either men or women wouldn’t even register.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2022 10:53     Subject: Being the "older woman" by just a few years?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:3 of my sisters are married to younger men. One is 3 years younger, one is 4 years younger and one is 10 years younger. These are long term relationships and my sisters are in their 50's. When you love someone, age is just a number. My dh's bday is one month before mine. We are the same age but, for that month, I call him a cradle robber. Sounds like your guy is joking around. 3 years isn't a huge difference.


OP: that's great to hear. Did they all meet their husbands in 20s/30s, or later? I guess I worry about aging, like if he will look younger than me, or want to go for a younger woman, but that is my own issue.


If this is what you’re worried about, 3 years doesn’t make a difference. You’re never going to be young and fertile again, so hopefully that isn’t what your new guy wants.