Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 12:33     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
My daughter on dance team is required to have a Facebook account for the team, as they have a group. Of course, no one that age uses Facebook so it hardly functions as social media lol.

YouTube is required for many schools assignments.

As for the rest, if they agreed, sure, but you’d need their buy in. Otherwise they will just figure out How to hide and lie to you about it, as I’ve found most kids who are given hard bans like that do.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 12:18     Subject: Re:Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/02/22/us/mom-pays-son-for-staying-off-social-media-trnd/index.html

My 12 year old is getting first phone before middle school this summer, I intend to make a deal with them like in the article above. However, I don’t consider YouTube social media as we need to access Khan Academy, etc. I do use parental controls on it though.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 10:18     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Rare near consensus on DCUM. This is my friend’s children. They are mid-upper elementary and she is ADAMANT. Mine are slightly older (MS.) She’s not trying to delay until HS or restrict Instagram/TikTok. She is saying absolutely nothing until they leave for college, no exceptions. Will be interesting to see.


My parents were really controlling and didn’t allow pop music in the house, junk food, etc. this was pre-internet days. It was horrible not understanding or being able to participate in conversation about tv shows, movies, music etc. I was perceived by others as babyish and immature. Was extremely socially isolated. It is abusive


I agree. Totally controlling and abusive.



My mother used to get angry if she saw me watching / listening to pop music. She'd shout that it was "crap" or similar and a waste of time and insist it was stopped immediately. This always baffled me.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 10:17     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
My Ds (15) only access Youtube and occasionally, email. That's it. Zero interest in anything else. Barely knows where he's put his phone.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 10:16     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Rare near consensus on DCUM. This is my friend’s children. They are mid-upper elementary and she is ADAMANT. Mine are slightly older (MS.) She’s not trying to delay until HS or restrict Instagram/TikTok. She is saying absolutely nothing until they leave for college, no exceptions. Will be interesting to see.


My parents were really controlling and didn’t allow pop music in the house, junk food, etc. this was pre-internet days. It was horrible not understanding or being able to participate in conversation about tv shows, movies, music etc. I was perceived by others as babyish and immature. Was extremely socially isolated. It is abusive


I agree. Totally controlling and abusive.

Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 10:01     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Rare near consensus on DCUM. This is my friend’s children. They are mid-upper elementary and she is ADAMANT. Mine are slightly older (MS.) She’s not trying to delay until HS or restrict Instagram/TikTok. She is saying absolutely nothing until they leave for college, no exceptions. Will be interesting to see.


My parents were really controlling and didn’t allow pop music in the house, junk food, etc. this was pre-internet days. It was horrible not understanding or being able to participate in conversation about tv shows, movies, music etc. I was perceived by others as babyish and immature. Was extremely socially isolated. It is abusive
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 09:59     Subject: Re:Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Possible? Maybe. Crazy? Definitely.

What would be the point of this exercise? Our children need to grow up to live in the world as it exists, not as we would prefer it to be.


Obviously the point of the exercise is to protect kids' mental health and prevent bullying, FB predators, etc. Time spent on social media has been linked to elevated suicide risk in teens. There are plenty of well-known negative mental health affects for adults too, but kids' brains are developing, and most aren't mentally or emotionally ready for social media even if all their friends' are doing it. Like drugs and alcohol, the effects are worse for teens. Whether the carte blanche ban or monitored use is the better approach is what is being debated here.


Then what happens when the teen leaves home?
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 09:54     Subject: Re:Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Anonymous wrote:Possible? Maybe. Crazy? Definitely.

What would be the point of this exercise? Our children need to grow up to live in the world as it exists, not as we would prefer it to be.


Obviously the point of the exercise is to protect kids' mental health and prevent bullying, FB predators, etc. Time spent on social media has been linked to elevated suicide risk in teens. There are plenty of well-known negative mental health affects for adults too, but kids' brains are developing, and most aren't mentally or emotionally ready for social media even if all their friends' are doing it. Like drugs and alcohol, the effects are worse for teens. Whether the carte blanche ban or monitored use is the better approach is what is being debated here.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 09:01     Subject: Re:Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
It sounds like the restriction your friend has is to the Internet in general… that’s not realistic.

I do think it’s possible for teens not to have social media accounts.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 08:04     Subject: Re:Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Possible? Maybe. Crazy? Definitely.

What would be the point of this exercise? Our children need to grow up to live in the world as it exists, not as we would prefer it to be.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 02:59     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Anonymous wrote:no, it would not be possible. half of my kid's school assignments involve watching videos on you tube. so even if you dont want it, they HAVE TO have access.
no, you should not. it will isolate your kid - they will be excluded socially. for a while we held the line, but it only resulted in my child not being included in the social plans. this started in middle school when kids take agency in setting up their own sleepovers, etc. if you kid isnt in the conversation, they aren't in the plans.


You can watch you tube on a chromebook or PC

Teachers are lazy AF for letting kids use cellphones in class
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2022 02:57     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have two families that we are friends with and their kids are not allowed to have cell phones until they are old enough to drive and no social media until 18. They have very large families and let me tell you, these kids are the most sociable happy humble kids. Not a lot of insecurities either. These families keep their word too. A few of their kids are over 16 and 18. It's refreshing, I am not going to lie.

Many Amish families have no cell phones. It can be done. But sadly parents in America want their kids to have phones because they are anxious idiots and think they "need" them.


Actually a lot of amish have cellphones, it's how they coordinate their amish taxis and go to their jobs off the farm. Do they text their buddies? Idk, a lot of them seem to be glued to their phones during breaks at the markets.

i also would not hold up the amish as an example, cutting off their kids from the world leads to really terrible abuse: https://people.com/crime/sins-of-the-amish-inside-amish-sex-abuse-survivor-quest-for-justice/



real Amish teens you twit
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2022 23:38     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Not in public school. If you don't have a community of like-minded people with an infrastructure of alternatives (like a Bais Yaakov school or a yeshiva), it's impossible to avoid and will ostracize your kid.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2022 21:37     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
Yes if you're ultra orthodox Jewish or very religious Muslim
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2022 20:58     Subject: Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?
If you live in rural Idaho and home school, yes. Otherwise, no.

If your kid has friends who have access to the internet, assume your kid has seen it all (and I mean *everything*). If the friend has an older sibling, it will be at an earlier age than you can imagine.