Anonymous wrote:Good fences make good neighbors. You need better boundaries with your ex and don’t be leaving the Plan B box on the kitchen counter!).

This exactly.
What of one of your kids saw it?
No matter that they're in pre-school, pre-school is age 4 & 5... kids know how to Google at 5.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

I've been single nearly 2 years and nobody has met the kids. Wow this is not the place to post lol all you old folks. Should have posted on reddit with some sex positive people.

Lady, no one shamed you for having sex. It’s the mess of leaving plan B out, going back and forth between your ex, and trying to introduce a guy you just met to your small kids.

It’s not just her, though. She said her ex cheated on her when she was pregnant and engaged. The whole group, except for the kids, is trashy.

OP, I understand where you are. It's hard coming out of a divorce and it's very tempting to use sex as a way of validating your own desirability. I've been there. I can tell you from experience that what you are doing is damaging. You will regret it. I know it's really hard. But stop dating. Stop texting random men. Stop having sex. Give yourself time to be alone. It can be scary, but that's where the healing is. It's in being completely comfortable being by yourself. You do not need men or sex to validate your own worthiness.

Just stop. Take a breath. Limit contact with your ex. Get some therapy. And learn to love being who you are apart from relationships with men. Your kids need your to focus on them right now.

Obviously a troll

Anonymous wrote:..and being a single mom in your 20s is good because you will have the energy for them, kudos to you for trying to find the right way...ignore the mean posters, listen to the kind ones.

It is not "mean" to tell the OP that she needs to put her kids first, which means getting herself tested for STDs yesterday; getting reliable birth control while also learning to be much more particular about having sex with men she's known for mere weeks; and not bringing home or introducing men whom she has recently met. Those things all protect her children by keeping her healthy, teaching her to set some real boundaries, and keeping strangers out of her and her kids' lives. OP is very, very focused on having sex yet has not gotten onto reliable BC and seems to think it's fine to bounce back into bed with her ex (though to her credit, she says she will stop that) or have sex with men who are pretty much strangers. She's putting sex ahead of her own health, physical and mental, and ahead of her kids' long-term need for a healthy mother who does not have an STD or an "oops" sibling.

Oh, and to the OP -- you ARE aware, I hope, that it may be extremely difficult and expensive, if not impossible, to get a safe abortion in much of this country, very soon? If you end up pregnant you may not be able to have an abortion easily. You may have to travel to another state to get one (if you even live where there is an adjoining state with abortions --you might have to fly somewhere to get one). Line up good last-minute child care providers for your kids in case you have to leave the state to find an abortion provider. I am not exaggerating or messing with you, OP. If you have in the back of your mind, "Well, if I really needed to I could get an abortion if I don't get Plan B in time" -- read the news. It does apply to you. Exercise more caution so you don't end up as another woman with a child she never planned to have, or as another woman who is injured by a crappy self-induced abortion. See why you need much better birth control, OP? By the way, even things like birth control and Plan B are under attack in some states. You really need to understand how all that could affect you.

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a floozy, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The dad is marrying again? Can't anybody in the family hold on to a partner?

Op here. My mom is dead.

OP sounds like a floozy, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The dad is marrying again? Can't anybody in the family hold on to a partner?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I worry that you are not going to take in the advice here because it’s been delivered pretty harshly (yet unanimously).

Please don’t introduce your kids to a guy you just met. Seriously. I understand that you spent time alone after separating (although I imagine that the friends who thought you were “crazy” for doing so are not parents) but you need to look inward to understand why you feel a need to bring someone to your dad’s wedding. There seems to be a discomfort or disease with being alone, or at least a neediness that crops up when you’re connecting with someone you like. To be honest, even 3-6 months isn’t long enough to be dating someone before introducing your kids, necessarily.

And since you are struggling with boundaries, I feel the need to make you aware that your kids need to be safe and there are guys who will use you to get to them. They are vulnerable to abuse if that’s not on your radar. Keeping them safe and healthy (and that includes not introducing them to a resolving door of guys) must be your absolute priority.

^Oops - *unease*, not disease. Typing too fast!

OP, I worry that you are not going to take in the advice here because it’s been delivered pretty harshly (yet unanimously).

Please don’t introduce your kids to a guy you just met. Seriously. I understand that you spent time alone after separating (although I imagine that the friends who thought you were “crazy” for doing so are not parents) but you need to look inward to understand why you feel a need to bring someone to your dad’s wedding. There seems to be a discomfort or disease with being alone, or at least a neediness that crops up when you’re connecting with someone you like. To be honest, even 3-6 months isn’t long enough to be dating someone before introducing your kids, necessarily.

And since you are struggling with boundaries, I feel the need to make you aware that your kids need to be safe and there are guys who will use you to get to them. They are vulnerable to abuse if that’s not on your radar. Keeping them safe and healthy (and that includes not introducing them to a resolving door of guys) must be your absolute priority.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

I've been single nearly 2 years and nobody has met the kids. Wow this is not the place to post lol all you old folks. Should have posted on reddit with some sex positive people.

Not old, baby girl, wise. There's a difference. Reddit will eat you live with this type of post, so good luck with that. Also, plenty of media outlets are picking up on Reddit threads on slow news days. Careful what you post.

- The old head.

..and being a single mom in your 20s is good because you will have the energy for them, kudos to you for trying to find the right way...ignore the mean posters, listen to the kind ones.

Anonymous wrote:All judgement aside...please DO NOT sleep with random guys...it is risky behavior, one that can have serious consequences from murder TO Aids...don't influence your life decisions by Netflix relationships...the hook up culture is de grading and dangerous for women
..guys have you fooled into how sex positive this is...better to use an job tested highly recommended gigolo than this.

An HIV tested...not job tested...

All judgement aside...please DO NOT sleep with random guys...it is risky behavior, one that can have serious consequences from murder TO Aids...don't influence your life decisions by Netflix relationships...the hook up culture is de grading and dangerous for women
..guys have you fooled into how sex positive this is...better to use an job tested highly recommended gigolo than this.

Yikes you are a mess. Your ex is right.

Stop letting strange men ejaculate inside of you.