Anonymous wrote:Am planning to offer our son and daughter the ability to arrange a different kind of trip with close friends. I do think it’s really nice to have something to memorialize the end of high school and to get a bit of independence. When I went to beach week at Dewey, from a local public school, there was drinking, some drugs and lots of sex. The extent to which that was the guiding factor of the week was shocking even then to me as a teenager. There was also a good amount of what we would now recognize as date rape, and some group sex with teenagers who were clearly drunk. I’m not a prude and I’m a relatively hands-off parent, but that situation was far more extreme than I encountered at any time in college (or after). I would far rather our kids decide upon and plan a trip with good friends somewhere they want to go then to follow along with beach week just because it seems like eight right of passage or ritual that is, frankly, pretty gross and not fun for a many involved.

100% correct and you are a wise parent.

Am planning to offer our son and daughter the ability to arrange a different kind of trip with close friends. I do think it’s really nice to have something to memorialize the end of high school and to get a bit of independence. When I went to beach week at Dewey, from a local public school, there was drinking, some drugs and lots of sex. The extent to which that was the guiding factor of the week was shocking even then to me as a teenager. There was also a good amount of what we would now recognize as date rape, and some group sex with teenagers who were clearly drunk. I’m not a prude and I’m a relatively hands-off parent, but that situation was far more extreme than I encountered at any time in college (or after). I would far rather our kids decide upon and plan a trip with good friends somewhere they want to go then to follow along with beach week just because it seems like eight right of passage or ritual that is, frankly, pretty gross and not fun for a many involved.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of drinking... we're talking about alcohol poising/black out drinking. With that sort of thing often comes sex. The whole concept of kids spending a week cutting loose to this degree is frightening to me. I've heard of parents letting their kids attend because so-and-so's big brother or sister is going to chaperone. There is no way that person can monitor or keep safe that number of kids.

I know of several houses that have 25 year old “coaches” as chaperones

Anonymous wrote:Beach is the center of all activities: kids gather en masse and play in the ocean, maybe beach volleyball, lots of sunbathing and maybe sunburns.

Nighttime is extra fun: weenie roasts, s’mores and singalongs on the beach - someone always brings a guitar! Sometimes couples will pair off during the campfire and hold hands and walk on the beach at night. Rotating houses host move nights and it’s popcorn and ice cream floats and deck dancing.

Depending on where the kids are - a night on the boardwalk is also in order; arcade games, rides, and all-night diners.

One morning a house full of girls invited neighboring boys in for a pancake breakfast followed by a limbo contest in the driveway.

Loads of good, clean, wholesome fun in the fresh sea air.

This sounds so fun and what I wish it was really like…

Hot MILF chaperones hooking up with seniors.

Anonymous wrote:Drinking, vomiting, sex.

+ frenemies posting damning pics of you publicly.

Lots of drinking... we're talking about alcohol poising/black out drinking. With that sort of thing often comes sex. The whole concept of kids spending a week cutting loose to this degree is frightening to me. I've heard of parents letting their kids attend because so-and-so's big brother or sister is going to chaperone. There is no way that person can monitor or keep safe that number of kids.

One of my kids' privates did beach week. Honestly was no different than what they do at any party - drinking, smoking, hooking up. No biggie. A very few always go overboard but you should know your kid as to whether that would be them. They had parent chaperones in every house but the parents were super low-key. I say let them go - what are you gong to do, not let them go to college? What goes on at college is no better.

VIA my DD's best friend who is there right now: "The cops are coming to almost every party so they last like an hour then you have to go to another school's house" "everyone is hanging out on the beach during the day, lots of day-drinking and hooking up"

My DD is having major fomo

My DS did not go last year - From what I heard after the week, I think there were varying experiences, depending on where and who you were staying with. Had I known after the fact what one of the groups was like, I would have allowed DS to go.

These were the friends of my DS. One of the houses had two adult chaperones. The adults told me they stayed in the 4x4 area of the Outer Banks and the guys did not have access to a vehicle. They were several miles up the 4x4 area so they couldn't get very far from where they were staying. It sounds like that group was just a group of friends, hanging out on the beach.

Another group stayed in a house in Duck and they had no adult supervision. I imagine that house was a "kids gone wild" house but I have no idea because there were no chaperones. The crowd that stayed in that house had the reputation of the "party" crowd at my DS' high school. We got invited to a grad party at one of their homes. The group of guys were openly drinking at the party - granted their parents were present but it was obvious that most of the adults condoned the underage drinking.

No, I'm not naive that underage drinking happens. And yes, I sent my DS to college three months later. But there's a difference in paying for him to go off to school with the expectation that he's there to get an education and paying for him to go on an unsupervised vacation with friends, some of which are under 18.

I'm more concerned that you all aren't instilling better decision-making in our kids. If you think that they don't already have access to sex, drugs, and drinking, you're bananas.

You should know your kid and the company that they keep. If your kid is easily influenced, already into drugs/drinking, etc, then keep them home. Otherwise let them have fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How on earth are y’all gonna handle college in (checks calendar) 2 months!?

As a big 3 parent we decided not to let our child go to college.

So funny!

I went from gds and it was a great time. Terrible handjobs, some puking, minor property damage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How on earth are y’all gonna handle college in (checks calendar) 2 months!?

As a big 3 parent we decided not to let our child go to college.

Too risky.

Anonymous wrote:How on earth are y’all gonna handle college in (checks calendar) 2 months!?

As a big 3 parent we decided not to let our child go to college.