Anonymous
06/04/2022 14:29
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
I find it odd that many are telling the OP she needs therapy when the desire to take care of your own baby/infant/toddler is probably more normal and basic than the desire to have someone else do it.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 14:02
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
I would be nervous too. Most daycare center workers have a high school degree and are low paid. It’s just a job they took. For whatever reason, it was the more appealing option compared to waiting tables, barista, or bagging groceries.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 12:33
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
Anonymous wrote:My baby goes to a daycare center three days a week, and I am very happy with the care. The women who are in the infant room LOVE babies. They could probably make more money in an Amazon warehouse but want to care for babies. The joy they feel feeding a baby a bottle is unreal. My mom watches the baby the other two days a week, and I think it’s possible the daycare center care is better. I have no concerns about my kid’s safety.
If you haven’t yet, I would visit daycares and talk to your friends about their experiences. I am sorry you’re feeling so anxious.
Everyone feels joy feeding a baby a bottle, PP. It’s the easiest part of childcare. The baby is quiet, happy, and the care giver is sitting down. They don’t even have to wash the bottles after the baby is finished in daycare.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 12:30
Subject: Re:How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
You’ll always be anxious, OP. Unless you’re willing to homeschool them until they’re adults, there is always a risk.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 10:30
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
My baby goes to a daycare center three days a week, and I am very happy with the care. The women who are in the infant room LOVE babies. They could probably make more money in an Amazon warehouse but want to care for babies. The joy they feel feeding a baby a bottle is unreal. My mom watches the baby the other two days a week, and I think it’s possible the daycare center care is better. I have no concerns about my kid’s safety.
If you haven’t yet, I would visit daycares and talk to your friends about their experiences. I am sorry you’re feeling so anxious.
If you haven’t yet, I would visit daycares and talk to your friends about their experiences. I am sorry you’re feeling so anxious.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 09:35
Subject: Re:How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
Anonymous wrote:I'm not negating anyone else's experience, but I kept my child at home until she turned 3 and started the local Montessori. DH and I both worked full-time, different shifts/days to manage it. This worked for *US* and certainly may not work for others. I wanted my child to be highly verbal and completely potty trained before putting her in a care setting. And we also felt strongly that it was our responsibility to raise our child and not send her away for 8-10 hours out of the day. Now that my DD is a tween and busy with her friends, I really treasure those years of parenting. Those first three years go by in a blink of an eye.
+1. Working from home with a flexible job and an educated nanny has worked for us for the same reasons. It’s set me back a bit in my career but it was worth it to be there for both kids for milestones, needs, breastfeeding.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 09:31
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Yes, I drive, and I know the risks with everything else: driving, riding a bike...
I do appreciate the concrete ideas...a full time nanny is out of the question $$$....and doesn't totally help, because nanny's can murder kids also.
I am looking into a center vs in home with one caretaker, because that makes me nervous (who is coming and going)?
A center can murder your kids too. Or there could be a mass shooting.
+1. Seriously I don’t get why people think a daycare, whose caregivers you can’t vet, are safer than a nanny who you can check (references and background).
Because at a center, they are never alone with your child. Any abuse or mistreatment would occur in front of other staff and children.
True but a center can still try to cover it up. For the record I do have my child in a center that I love and trust, but there was a case at another center locally where a daycare worker dislocated a kids elbow by pulling and picking her up by the arm for a diaper change. That was unintentional but the center then tried to lie to the parents saying the kid got it by falling. They said it happened in a blind spot when in fact the incident was caught on video. They told other parents the injury occurred due to a preexisting condition in the child which was false. The parents did report to the licensing board which investigated and found the complaint substantiated - the daycare worker did unintentionally cause the injury. But if the incident hadn’t been caught the daycares lies would not have been exposed so clearly…. So just because an incident is witnessed by others doesn’t necessarily mean that it won’t be denied or covered up.
That being said I love my daycare center and do feel like the teachers care about my daughter. There is a lot more room to play and explore than my tiny apartment and she loves being around other children. I do trust them.
+1. They do lie at daycare centers - they’re told to by the administration. My son had a big bruise on his face one day and the teachers said it was from running with his hands in his pockets. His pockets weren’t real. They got flustered when I told them.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 01:53
Subject: Re:How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
I'm not negating anyone else's experience, but I kept my child at home until she turned 3 and started the local Montessori. DH and I both worked full-time, different shifts/days to manage it. This worked for *US* and certainly may not work for others. I wanted my child to be highly verbal and completely potty trained before putting her in a care setting. And we also felt strongly that it was our responsibility to raise our child and not send her away for 8-10 hours out of the day. Now that my DD is a tween and busy with her friends, I really treasure those years of parenting. Those first three years go by in a blink of an eye.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 00:37
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Yes, I drive, and I know the risks with everything else: driving, riding a bike...
I do appreciate the concrete ideas...a full time nanny is out of the question $$$....and doesn't totally help, because nanny's can murder kids also.
I am looking into a center vs in home with one caretaker, because that makes me nervous (who is coming and going)?
A center can murder your kids too. Or there could be a mass shooting.
+1. Seriously I don’t get why people think a daycare, whose caregivers you can’t vet, are safer than a nanny who you can check (references and background).
Because at a center, they are never alone with your child. Any abuse or mistreatment would occur in front of other staff and children.
True but a center can still try to cover it up. For the record I do have my child in a center that I love and trust, but there was a case at another center locally where a daycare worker dislocated a kids elbow by pulling and picking her up by the arm for a diaper change. That was unintentional but the center then tried to lie to the parents saying the kid got it by falling. They said it happened in a blind spot when in fact the incident was caught on video. They told other parents the injury occurred due to a preexisting condition in the child which was false. The parents did report to the licensing board which investigated and found the complaint substantiated - the daycare worker did unintentionally cause the injury. But if the incident hadn’t been caught the daycares lies would not have been exposed so clearly…. So just because an incident is witnessed by others doesn’t necessarily mean that it won’t be denied or covered up.
That being said I love my daycare center and do feel like the teachers care about my daughter. There is a lot more room to play and explore than my tiny apartment and she loves being around other children. I do trust them.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 00:31
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
I worked in daycares, and I never want my kids in one. Most of the teachers are miserable. I don't want my kids around depressed people. I saw A LOT of yelling and teachers being rough with babies.
Anonymous
06/04/2022 00:03
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Yes, I drive, and I know the risks with everything else: driving, riding a bike...
I do appreciate the concrete ideas...a full time nanny is out of the question $$$....and doesn't totally help, because nanny's can murder kids also.
I am looking into a center vs in home with one caretaker, because that makes me nervous (who is coming and going)?
A center can murder your kids too. Or there could be a mass shooting.
I think this is the same person posting fear inducing posts just to frighten OP. You are all anti-feminist jerks.
News flash: Parents kill their kids and abuse them more often than daycare centers.
No, she/he was defending nanny care. It is ridiculous to think a nanny will kill your kids but a daycare center won’t. And my kids are in daycare.
+1. Or grandparents or relatives accidentally killing kids. It happens far more than nanny care.
Anonymous
06/03/2022 22:18
Subject: Re:How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
I couldn't put my children in daycare because I was sexually abused in a home daycare. I stayed home mostly because i really wanted to be home and a little bit because I could not leave them with someone else. But I worked in a daycare and those kids were my heart, my joy. I loved them all. I became a teacher and now love my students. Yes, you take a risk when leaving your child with someone, but most childcare isn't a risk.
Anonymous
06/03/2022 21:30
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
I take care of a toddler twice a week. Her mom started to cry the first time she dropped her off; she was just sad and worried about leaving her baby. I love this child so much, she is sweet and cuddly and I love being her caretaker. She is happy and safe with me and loves playing with me.
I say this only because there is nothing special about me and millions of caretakers love their babies as much as I do.
Don’t feel bad about your nerves, it is totally normal to worry and fret. But your kids will be fine and statistically speaking, well-loved by their caretakers.
I say this only because there is nothing special about me and millions of caretakers love their babies as much as I do.
Don’t feel bad about your nerves, it is totally normal to worry and fret. But your kids will be fine and statistically speaking, well-loved by their caretakers.
Anonymous
06/03/2022 20:35
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Yes, I drive, and I know the risks with everything else: driving, riding a bike...
I do appreciate the concrete ideas...a full time nanny is out of the question $$$....and doesn't totally help, because nanny's can murder kids also.
I am looking into a center vs in home with one caretaker, because that makes me nervous (who is coming and going)?
A center can murder your kids too. Or there could be a mass shooting.
I think this is the same person posting fear inducing posts just to frighten OP. You are all anti-feminist jerks.
News flash: Parents kill their kids and abuse them more often than daycare centers.
No, she/he was defending nanny care. It is ridiculous to think a nanny will kill your kids but a daycare center won’t. And my kids are in daycare.
Anonymous
06/03/2022 13:22
Subject: How to get over my fear of putting my kids in childcare
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Yes, I drive, and I know the risks with everything else: driving, riding a bike...
I do appreciate the concrete ideas...a full time nanny is out of the question $$$....and doesn't totally help, because nanny's can murder kids also.
I am looking into a center vs in home with one caretaker, because that makes me nervous (who is coming and going)?
A center can murder your kids too. Or there could be a mass shooting.
I think this is the same person posting fear inducing posts just to frighten OP. You are all anti-feminist jerks.
News flash: Parents kill their kids and abuse them more often than daycare centers.