Anonymous
Post 06/01/2022 07:56     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:I will say, it's an adjustment for sure. I just said to my Dh the other day "ooh I'd love to try brunch there" and then I paused and realized we haven't been to brunch OUT at a restaurant since our DD was born 8 years ago. We've been to breakfast out, but we all know that's different .

Taking turns with your partner is absolutely a good way forward. It also lets your partner learn to make choices. My DH and I used to take turns on weekend mornings, especially with the sweet baby who woke up at 5:30am READY FOR THE DAY! One parent would sleep in or have a lazy morning, while the other did breakfast and an outting with the toddler. Then, whoever was up early, go to nap when the toddler napped and the other parent was sort of "on call". It helped a lot.

But it does get better. There is more down time as they get older because they can play longer, can watch tv and aren't so physically demanding. Hang in there.


Your DD is 8...why can't you go to brunch?
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2022 07:55     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You'll get back to your pre-kid weekend in 10 years, well 8.5 years now.



Not if you sign them up for sports!


NP. I would never give up my weekend time for something as pointless as sports. If they want to do it, they can get themselves there.


Not athletic, eh?

There are a lot of pointless things in life - moving your body and working toward a goal with a group of people are not on that list.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 21:30     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You'll get back to your pre-kid weekend in 10 years, well 8.5 years now.



Not if you sign them up for sports!


NP. I would never give up my weekend time for something as pointless as sports. If they want to do it, they can get themselves there.


How old are your kids (if you have any)?
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 21:03     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You'll get back to your pre-kid weekend in 10 years, well 8.5 years now.



Not if you sign them up for sports!


NP. I would never give up my weekend time for something as pointless as sports. If they want to do it, they can get themselves there.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 20:30     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Funny, I was just thinking today “I miss when my kids were little and all I could do all weekend was spend tim with their adorable little selves!”

I’m certain I didn’t feel that way at the time of course!

This weekend both mine road their bikes to the pool and spent all day there with friends three days straight. I felt all this pressure to do productive things around the house in their absence! I don’t know when I’ll reach the point where I don’t feel guilty relaxing like I did in my 20s.

PP is correct - my youngest was yours’ age 8.5 years ago!
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 20:20     Subject: Re:I miss relaxing weekends
My weekend days are often 10 hours out of the house at sports … kids are 8 and 10 and my dh and I have to divide up. I gather it’s better in high school when sports are after school and part of school.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 20:17     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mine are 7 and 10, it's a holiday, and I'm sitting here wondering how many more years it will be until I get a day off. I'm just so exhausted. I want to vegetate for a day, but we are always behind on chores. I can't sit down for 3 seconds without momomomomomom. When I grew up, we played outside all day with friends, and our parents did NOT provide entertainment for us 24-7. That method only works when other people in the neighborhood are doing the same, but instead they are schlepping kids to constant activities, taking trips, etc every weekend. I'm so sick of having to organize formal playdates and clear my schedule so my kid can have a social life. Modern parenting is exhausting.


I agree. My kids are younger but I see this in my friends with older kids. And I wonder - were kids less talented as a whole when they were allowed to play freely as kids and only put in structured intense sports later on? Do we really need to throw them in at such young ages?


You don’t of course, but what will they be doing on weekend? I used to play with neighbor kids/cousins on weekends, but all other kids are in sports/activities/school functions/school friends, etc. Without sports, my kids would spend most weekends doing nothing. We have 3 so I guess they would at least have some company. In our case, my kids love sports and are quite athletic so I can’t imagine having them home and doing nothing.


I mean nobody is going to be home so it's not like if they don't do sports/activities, they'll find friends to play with outside.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 20:16     Subject: Re:I miss relaxing weekends
Well I got news - once your kids are older you'll have activities AKA sports prob - scouts, etc. and let me tell you, then you will be working on your weekends. I was at a soccer tournament on Sat/Sun and Mon. We won the trophy but let me tell you, I did not have a holiday relaxing weekend.

Just managing your expectations.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 15:48     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mine are 7 and 10, it's a holiday, and I'm sitting here wondering how many more years it will be until I get a day off. I'm just so exhausted. I want to vegetate for a day, but we are always behind on chores. I can't sit down for 3 seconds without momomomomomom. When I grew up, we played outside all day with friends, and our parents did NOT provide entertainment for us 24-7. That method only works when other people in the neighborhood are doing the same, but instead they are schlepping kids to constant activities, taking trips, etc every weekend. I'm so sick of having to organize formal playdates and clear my schedule so my kid can have a social life. Modern parenting is exhausting.


I agree. My kids are younger but I see this in my friends with older kids. And I wonder - were kids less talented as a whole when they were allowed to play freely as kids and only put in structured intense sports later on? Do we really need to throw them in at such young ages?


You don’t of course, but what will they be doing on weekend? I used to play with neighbor kids/cousins on weekends, but all other kids are in sports/activities/school functions/school friends, etc. Without sports, my kids would spend most weekends doing nothing. We have 3 so I guess they would at least have some company. In our case, my kids love sports and are quite athletic so I can’t imagine having them home and doing nothing.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 15:34     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:Mine are 7 and 10, it's a holiday, and I'm sitting here wondering how many more years it will be until I get a day off. I'm just so exhausted. I want to vegetate for a day, but we are always behind on chores. I can't sit down for 3 seconds without momomomomomom. When I grew up, we played outside all day with friends, and our parents did NOT provide entertainment for us 24-7. That method only works when other people in the neighborhood are doing the same, but instead they are schlepping kids to constant activities, taking trips, etc every weekend. I'm so sick of having to organize formal playdates and clear my schedule so my kid can have a social life. Modern parenting is exhausting.


I agree. My kids are younger but I see this in my friends with older kids. And I wonder - were kids less talented as a whole when they were allowed to play freely as kids and only put in structured intense sports later on? Do we really need to throw them in at such young ages?
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 15:09     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
I will say, it's an adjustment for sure. I just said to my Dh the other day "ooh I'd love to try brunch there" and then I paused and realized we haven't been to brunch OUT at a restaurant since our DD was born 8 years ago. We've been to breakfast out, but we all know that's different .

Taking turns with your partner is absolutely a good way forward. It also lets your partner learn to make choices. My DH and I used to take turns on weekend mornings, especially with the sweet baby who woke up at 5:30am READY FOR THE DAY! One parent would sleep in or have a lazy morning, while the other did breakfast and an outting with the toddler. Then, whoever was up early, go to nap when the toddler napped and the other parent was sort of "on call". It helped a lot.

But it does get better. There is more down time as they get older because they can play longer, can watch tv and aren't so physically demanding. Hang in there.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 14:41     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
It's 20 years of a very long life. It's an investment in your future.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 13:51     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Totally normal, and will get better with age. Never fully better, but better than the 1.5 year stage. My youngest is 6, and I spent the weekend sitting at the pool chatting with friends, reading a book, and enjoying a few drinks while the kids played together. I still had to show up, get on the sunscreen, pack the snacks, and all of the other things, but it was monumentally more relaxing than past years when I also had to be in the pool holding the child at all times, and also thinking about nap time and other details and also waking up super early.

It gets better. Or at least it gets different and easier to manage.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 13:23     Subject: I miss relaxing weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You'll get back to your pre-kid weekend in 10 years, well 8.5 years now.


Don’t lie to OP!


I know! My three kids are 12, 9, and 6, and the best thing is that I can easily sleep in. But then...our weekends are so exhausting and insane. So many sports and activities. I actually look forward to Mondays when they are back at school!