Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time the baby gets sick from daycare, DH catches the bug too and he gets even more sick than the baby- his immune system seems to be terrible. This is the second time in two months he’s been sick and I am going to be the sole carer of a sick child all weekend. I was very sympathetic the first time he got sick but now I’m just annoyed that he is going to get to sleep in till 9 or 10 while I do everything this weekend. Maybe this makes me heartless but I almost rather be sick and get to rest, and he be well. Any tips on what to do? He seems really sick so telling him to buck up doesn’t seem like the solution. But I’m very resentful

His behavior is unacceptable. He needs to stop getting sick and help out with his share!

How does he stop from getting sick? You should write a book entitled, "Never be Sick Again." Include the documented studies of how this works. You will make billions. You are absurd

Look this is his problem to figure out. OP needs help!

She is a SAHM and this is her job. He brings home the money. She can use the money from her hobby job to hire help.

Money cannot be the only contribution an individual makes to a marriage. Unless you want massive resentment in your marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time the baby gets sick from daycare, DH catches the bug too and he gets even more sick than the baby- his immune system seems to be terrible. This is the second time in two months he’s been sick and I am going to be the sole carer of a sick child all weekend. I was very sympathetic the first time he got sick but now I’m just annoyed that he is going to get to sleep in till 9 or 10 while I do everything this weekend. Maybe this makes me heartless but I almost rather be sick and get to rest, and he be well. Any tips on what to do? He seems really sick so telling him to buck up doesn’t seem like the solution. But I’m very resentful

His behavior is unacceptable. He needs to stop getting sick and help out with his share!

How does he stop from getting sick? You should write a book entitled, "Never be Sick Again." Include the documented studies of how this works. You will make billions. You are absurd

Or he could take some meds and keep parenting, like basically every mom does

Anonymous wrote:This would not fly with me. Sick spouse is definitely entitled to some extra rest and TLC, but they can’t just hole up in their rooms all weekend and do nothing. Single parents somehow manage. Your DH can too.

This is harsh but kind of true. If it's just a cold, he can take some Dayquil and be functional. It's definitely a choice to indulge your sickness by staying in bed all day - a choice dads seem to get to make much more than moms.

Anonymous wrote:This would not fly with me. Sick spouse is definitely entitled to some extra rest and TLC, but they can’t just hole up in their rooms all weekend and do nothing. Single parents somehow manage. Your DH can too.

No. Sick people should hole up.in bedroom and stay out of the way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time the baby gets sick from daycare, DH catches the bug too and he gets even more sick than the baby- his immune system seems to be terrible. This is the second time in two months he’s been sick and I am going to be the sole carer of a sick child all weekend. I was very sympathetic the first time he got sick but now I’m just annoyed that he is going to get to sleep in till 9 or 10 while I do everything this weekend. Maybe this makes me heartless but I almost rather be sick and get to rest, and he be well. Any tips on what to do? He seems really sick so telling him to buck up doesn’t seem like the solution. But I’m very resentful

His behavior is unacceptable. He needs to stop getting sick and help out with his share!

How does he stop from getting sick? You should write a book entitled, "Never be Sick Again." Include the documented studies of how this works. You will make billions. You are absurd

Look this is his problem to figure out. OP needs help!

She is a SAHM and this is her job. He brings home the money. She can use the money from her hobby job to hire help.

Anonymous wrote:This would not fly with me. Sick spouse is definitely entitled to some extra rest and TLC, but they can’t just hole up in their rooms all weekend and do nothing. Single parents somehow manage. Your DH can too.

I can’t imagine if my husband said this to me when I was sick! Sometimes yes, you do need to hole up in your room, and that’s best for the kids too if you are contagious.

OP, i agree it can be frustrating and it is ok to feel overwhelmed as childcare is not easy even when it is your own child. Have you tried talking to him though?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time the baby gets sick from daycare, DH catches the bug too and he gets even more sick than the baby- his immune system seems to be terrible. This is the second time in two months he’s been sick and I am going to be the sole carer of a sick child all weekend. I was very sympathetic the first time he got sick but now I’m just annoyed that he is going to get to sleep in till 9 or 10 while I do everything this weekend. Maybe this makes me heartless but I almost rather be sick and get to rest, and he be well. Any tips on what to do? He seems really sick so telling him to buck up doesn’t seem like the solution. But I’m very resentful

His behavior is unacceptable. He needs to stop getting sick and help out with his share!

How does he stop from getting sick? You should write a book entitled, "Never be Sick Again." Include the documented studies of how this works. You will make billions. You are absurd

Look this is his problem to figure out. OP needs help!

This would not fly with me. Sick spouse is definitely entitled to some extra rest and TLC, but they can’t just hole up in their rooms all weekend and do nothing. Single parents somehow manage. Your DH can too.

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. For years, DH has gotten sick with whatever DS brings home from school. Part of it is just his system. The other part of it is that he picks his nose. He denies it, but he sort of half scratches, half picks. Either way, I’m convinced it’s why he gets every cold under the sun.

Why does picking your nose make you get colds?

I hear you, OP. For years, DH has gotten sick with whatever DS brings home from school. Part of it is just his system. The other part of it is that he picks his nose. He denies it, but he sort of half scratches, half picks. Either way, I’m convinced it’s why he gets every cold under the sun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time the baby gets sick from daycare, DH catches the bug too and he gets even more sick than the baby- his immune system seems to be terrible. This is the second time in two months he’s been sick and I am going to be the sole carer of a sick child all weekend. I was very sympathetic the first time he got sick but now I’m just annoyed that he is going to get to sleep in till 9 or 10 while I do everything this weekend. Maybe this makes me heartless but I almost rather be sick and get to rest, and he be well. Any tips on what to do? He seems really sick so telling him to buck up doesn’t seem like the solution. But I’m very resentful

His behavior is unacceptable. He needs to stop getting sick and help out with his share!

How does he stop from getting sick? You should write a book entitled, "Never be Sick Again." Include the documented studies of how this works. You will make billions. You are absurd

These things just need to fair and generally equal. Not a tit-for-tat exactly equal kind of way, but not blatantly different standards for each partner. So if one partner gets sick and still does all the normal childcare and household work that they do otherwise on the weekend and the other partner gets a similar sickness and lies in bed all weekend, well, come on, that's not ok! So just decide what the "policy" for colds is going to be in your house, and then you BOTH follow it. Maybe something like the sick spouse gets to sleep in a bit or take a pm nap and is off dinner duty, but is otherwise participating in the day. Whatever -- the real point is that it should be generally the same for both of you. (And making sure that you are both well rested, hydrated, and eating a healthy diet can help to some extent with the frequency of the colds.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time you have a cold, take a total sick day.

You’re not pathetic. But I recently heard that when you feel resentful, instead of being angry at the other person (or after you let yourself feel that feeling), ask yourself what you need that you might be too afraid to ask for. You need something from him, and consider asking for it.

Not OP but this is a really interesting thought! Will have to reflect on this myself.

Right? I heard it from Brene Brown but she was quoting somebody else and I don’t remember who.

Anonymous wrote:Every time the baby gets sick from daycare, DH catches the bug too and he gets even more sick than the baby- his immune system seems to be terrible. This is the second time in two months he’s been sick and I am going to be the sole carer of a sick child all weekend. I was very sympathetic the first time he got sick but now I’m just annoyed that he is going to get to sleep in till 9 or 10 while I do everything this weekend. Maybe this makes me heartless but I almost rather be sick and get to rest, and he be well. Any tips on what to do? He seems really sick so telling him to buck up doesn’t seem like the solution. But I’m very resentful

His behavior is unacceptable. He needs to stop getting sick and help out with his share!