Wow - parents controlling their teen/young adult dating decisions (outside of age-appropriate rules/expectations and all the info we can get them about health and safety etc) is just such a weird concept to me. I also work in health care and talk to young people all day long about their sexual health and the number who are terrified that their parents will find out they are sexually active is pretty high. We know that those kids are at much greater risk for bad outcomes. So I really suggest the parents who think they can just tell their kids not to date and be done with it reconsider their approach. Falling in love is human, and many teenagers do it even if it is not sanctioned by mom and dad. Meeting your kid where they are and helping them stay safe and healthy (physically, emotionally) is one of the hardest parts of parenting but so important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is seriously dating at 24. I would have liked for her to have waited till 32.

I hope this is a joke. I hope my kids have kids and are married by 32 so I can know my grandkids!

Ew. People desperate for grandkids are sad. Don't pressure your children to bring more kids into this hellscape

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my son not to date anyone until at least after finishing grad school and taking care of his health, body and mind. Focus on himself and what he wants to achieve with his life, improve his social skills, hobbies, etc... In other words, focus and improve on himself, first and foremost. If he could do that, women would come to him in droves. He can have ladies who are friends but dating and having a gf is a big distraction from what he wants to achieve his goals.

This is dumb. Who waits until their 58th college degree to date? Stop projecting your fears and wack experiences on your kid.

And the bolded is extra dumb. Who are you to say when he can have "ladies." Get a grip.

How is that dumb?

My "tiger" Chinese father said the exact same thing to me when I was a teenager and I thought he was a crazy dad.  My teenager years revolved around nothing but soccer, golf, tennis, music, art, dancing, etc....  He even kept a leash on me when I went away to college and wouldn't want to pay my college tuition if he found out I had a girlfriend.  He always said this to me every time we talked that I should always be "investing in myself first".  My dad was a freaking lunatic and I hated him, or so I thought. 

Right after the graduation ceremony, he handed me a 50K check and told me I should go exploring the world for the next twenty four months before deciding what I should do with my life.  For the first six months of graduation, I rediscovered my love for golf, art and especially music with the guitar.  For the next eighteen months, I traveled to Asia, Europe, Africa and South America.  I met my fiance, now my wife, during my stay in South America.  Her family is filthy rich that I ended up working for her family.  We're now happily residing in the US.  My wife said to me she was attracted to me because of my multi-talents.

Always invest in yourself first and foremost, and you will have no issues with dating or meeting high quality people.

If you see good role models, you are more likely to want a partner. If all you see is arguments, infidelity and divorce than you don’t want it or push it as late as you can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about not focusing her entire existence on getting a boyfriend a relationship and marriage.

Teaching her that having a man is the most important thing is likely to push her into bad situations and relationships

My mom tried that approach when i was fifteen. I looked her like she was a fool. I still think having a solid, loving, significant other is one of the most important things in life.

Me too. That's how I'm wired.

Anonymous wrote:How about not focusing her entire existence on getting a boyfriend a relationship and marriage.

Teaching her that having a man is the most important thing is likely to push her into bad situations and relationships

My mom tried that approach when i was fifteen. I looked her like she was a fool. I still think having a solid, loving, significant other is one of the most important things in life.

Anytime I get a message on LinkedIn that is not 100% business related. I have “an assistant or third party company” reply saying that they monitor account on my behalf and only reply to business/sales inquires.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best age to start dating is when you are sufficiently mature enough to maintain your other responsibilities, handle a breakup without falling part, and have met someone you like who likes you back and treats you respectfully. Same for boys and girls.

This sounds good, but in reality I fell in love before I knew if I would love someone who treated me respectfully. I also couldn’t handle the break up without falling apart. I wasn’t mature enough, but there I was, in love.

Sometimes you can’t plan this! They will figure it out, even though they may be in pain.

Kindly, perhaps our children can learn from our experiences. Maybe teaching them better especially doing away with all this in love = lose all sense and must make bad decisions BS a purely Western notion btw

Not everyone gets a carefully curated childhood. Things can happen- I know people whose lives drastically changed because of car accidents while they were in high school as an example. Thinking we are so in charge of our childrens lives if a fallacy - western thought or not.

Kindly, you're the parent now so instead of waving your hand and saying well love will suck and she's bound to have bad relationships and make bad choices because of love why not teach her better?

Surely you don't believe in bi suffered so she must to?

I’m thinking about a friend who sustained a TBI from a car crash in high school. It made it difficult for her to make decisions. If you think her parents didn’t love her and want good things for her, you are incorrect. She married a guy who abused her. I’m not talking about teaching kids things. I’m talking about life events where major trauma happens that effects the way people operate in relationships. Rape would be another one that comes to mind. I’m not saying you can’t have a good relationship after being raped, I’m saying it may take a few mistakes before you are able to achieve that. You seem to thing you can teach your kid out of those mistakes. I’m saying you cannot control all the situations your daughter will ever be in and that those situations won’t have an affect on her relationship choices.

Kindly, we are going to have to agree to disagree. I hope you are able to continue to live your life thinking you are in control of everything.

Kindly, we will have to agree to disagree because you are talking out of your ass and intentionally missing the point.

It's totally within your control to teach your kids about healthy relationship dynamics. You choosing not to is simply laziness

Funny I tjought the most important lesson kids get about relationships and how the adults in their lives deal with conflict. Name calling and labeling are high on the list of things people do when they have a difficult time expressing themselves

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best age to start dating is when you are sufficiently mature enough to maintain your other responsibilities, handle a breakup without falling part, and have met someone you like who likes you back and treats you respectfully. Same for boys and girls.

This sounds good, but in reality I fell in love before I knew if I would love someone who treated me respectfully. I also couldn’t handle the break up without falling apart. I wasn’t mature enough, but there I was, in love.

Sometimes you can’t plan this! They will figure it out, even though they may be in pain.

Kindly, perhaps our children can learn from our experiences. Maybe teaching them better especially doing away with all this in love = lose all sense and must make bad decisions BS a purely Western notion btw

Not everyone gets a carefully curated childhood. Things can happen- I know people whose lives drastically changed because of car accidents while they were in high school as an example. Thinking we are so in charge of our childrens lives if a fallacy - western thought or not.

Kindly, you're the parent now so instead of waving your hand and saying well love will suck and she's bound to have bad relationships and make bad choices because of love why not teach her better?

Surely you don't believe in bi suffered so she must to?

I’m thinking about a friend who sustained a TBI from a car crash in high school. It made it difficult for her to make decisions. If you think her parents didn’t love her and want good things for her, you are incorrect. She married a guy who abused her. I’m not talking about teaching kids things. I’m talking about life events where major trauma happens that effects the way people operate in relationships. Rape would be another one that comes to mind. I’m not saying you can’t have a good relationship after being raped, I’m saying it may take a few mistakes before you are able to achieve that. You seem to thing you can teach your kid out of those mistakes. I’m saying you cannot control all the situations your daughter will ever be in and that those situations won’t have an affect on her relationship choices.

Kindly, we are going to have to agree to disagree. I hope you are able to continue to live your life thinking you are in control of everything.

Kindly, we will have to agree to disagree because you are talking out of your ass and intentionally missing the point.

It's totally within your control to teach your kids about healthy relationship dynamics. You choosing not to is simply laziness