Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, I had no idea there were unspoken rules about this. I just picked up a nice little bookshelf from someone in my local buy nothing group. Can't remember what I posted, but I assumed she was just giving it to first-come, first-serve. And of course I thanked her when I picked it up. To me this was of mutual benefit. She had no use for it; I can refinish it and it saved me from buying an expensive piece.

You're fine. The one poster screaming about how you're supposed to explain why you want the item is misrepresenting the BN rules. There's nothing about needing to justify your interest in an item on offer (https://bnponfb.org/10-rules/). You are of course welcome to tell a story about the item you're posting or say why it's special to you, or you can say why you want it in response, but you don't have to do so. And the listed principles state "We are a gift economy, not a charity. We see no difference between want and need, waste and treasure." (https://bnponfb.org/about/mission-and-principles/) Meaning, you don't have to earn the item by being the most in need or having the best story.

My vent here - freecycle group that I participate in made a new rule - you can't even ask to be considered if you didn't have something up earlier. And in the rules now they said you can be banned for even asking.... Can't wrap my head around it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, I had no idea there were unspoken rules about this. I just picked up a nice little bookshelf from someone in my local buy nothing group. Can't remember what I posted, but I assumed she was just giving it to first-come, first-serve. And of course I thanked her when I picked it up. To me this was of mutual benefit. She had no use for it; I can refinish it and it saved me from buying an expensive piece.

There are literally rules, not unspoken ones. I've been in 5 groups and they all have the rules and admin notes pinned.

+1

Basic manners like please and thank you aren’t addressed in those notes but it’s possibly because they are basic manners.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, I had no idea there were unspoken rules about this. I just picked up a nice little bookshelf from someone in my local buy nothing group. Can't remember what I posted, but I assumed she was just giving it to first-come, first-serve. And of course I thanked her when I picked it up. To me this was of mutual benefit. She had no use for it; I can refinish it and it saved me from buying an expensive piece.

There are literally rules, not unspoken ones. I've been in 5 groups and they all have the rules and admin notes pinned.

Oh my gosh, I had no idea there were unspoken rules about this. I just picked up a nice little bookshelf from someone in my local buy nothing group. Can't remember what I posted, but I assumed she was just giving it to first-come, first-serve. And of course I thanked her when I picked it up. To me this was of mutual benefit. She had no use for it; I can refinish it and it saved me from buying an expensive piece.

Our BN group does not prohibit resellers, but they want the resellers to be upfront about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people tell me why they want it. Not my business. I don’t expect a please when I am literally offering it. They are doing me a favor by taking it, after all.

They have all said thank you when they pick it up if we cross paths, though.

I have seen people say “tell me in the comments why you want it” like it’s a sweepstakes.

THAT IS PART OF THE BN CULTURE. It is not a Freecycling group. The point is to connect and learn what others might need etc. Yes, I want to know and would give my crib to a first time mom but not a reseller. Don't like it? Find another group. I will never give something to someone if they're grabby and clearly don't get the premise.

My BN group is pretty terrific! I have gotten to know who is flakey and who is reliable. I often give to a new name in the group, not the same 20 people who comment on EVERYTHING. And it's always worked out. Generally people are very polite, and pick up when they say they will. I just leave items outside, and let them know it's outside, so they can worry about it.

You have to have low expectations too. I also only try to post things that people will actually WANT, and therefore come pick up. If I'm not sure it'll be popular, I take it to Goodwill or throw it away.

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people tell me why they want it. Not my business. I don’t expect a please when I am literally offering it. They are doing me a favor by taking it, after all.

They have all said thank you when they pick it up if we cross paths, though.

I have seen people say “tell me in the comments why you want it” like it’s a sweepstakes.

I get thank you'd in my group. Some short and sweet, and some they clearly took the time to do. I don't mind either way. I'm more thankful they're taking whatever it is out of my home lol.

My biggest annoyance is when people say they're coming and then don't. And then they don't even message they're late, forgot, etc.

The posters that respond immediately to your listing, then drag pick up over a week of not being able to make it after all - with the stress texts, or complete no shows.

Anonymous wrote:I consider myself polite but I usually just say interested because I’m trying to be first because that’s how most people choose in my group. I do always say thank you when they give it to me though. Actually my neighborhood has a Take My Kids Shit group because we got tired of all the Buy Nothing rules (had a particularly annoying moderator) and it’s is much more active and easy to use.

Brilliant!

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a reflection of the culture of this area. My sister lives in a smaller town somewhere else in the US and said she almost always gets a photo sent to her of the item in its new home or being used with a message about how grateful they are to have it. I have not had this happen a single time here - not that I expect it, but the difference is interesting.

I do that sometimes. Usually directly to the person gifting, sometimes on the original listing, occasionally as a gratitude post. The group I’m in now does that some, others I’ve been in do it more often.

My peeve is someone messaging me directly instead of responding on post. It feels pushy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I drop a quick handwritten thank you card in their mailbox/ Slot if I’m doing a porch pickup. Takes less than 3 minutes to do.

Please don’t.
First, we have a communal mailbox in the middle of the street, it’s illegal to put unstamped mail in an official mailbox, and you’ve just created more Tracy for me to deal with. No one meds a handwritten note for going away unwanted clutter.

DP, but meh. It's more than I expect (or do) but if throwing away a thank you note is the worst thing that happens to you this week I think you'll be okay.

Anonymous wrote:I drop a quick handwritten thank you card in their mailbox/ Slot if I’m doing a porch pickup. Takes less than 3 minutes to do.

Please don’t.
First, we have a communal mailbox in the middle of the street, it’s illegal to put unstamped mail in an official mailbox, and you’ve just created more Tracy for me to deal with. No one meds a handwritten note for going away unwanted clutter.