Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They make more money than you. They have family money. They have a trust fund.

+1. Also, buy nice staples like neutral cashmere sweaters, well fitting jeans and pants and store them properly. They are timeless.

This is definitely not true. Boot cut jeans, for example, were out for a good 15 years and have only come back recently. You can keep and store a particular cut of jeans, but in the meantime you'll have to buy new jeans to look current.

I kept my favorite 7 for all mankind boot cut jeans from 15 years ago. I still love them. They waited kindly in my drawer until they came back it style. Now I get compliments all over again.

Buy good quality neutral colored basics. Flash it up with some trendy pieces and keep them. You'd be amazed at how frugal style can be. Plus I have a consistently preppy style (likely) since birth. They cuts change but they come back. There's only so many cuts and styles that can be done. Quality pieces that fit well are key

Same. I have a pair of 7 jeans (Dojo) that I purchased in 2019 that I wear constantly. I love the fit, cut, and thickness. The price tag was high, but the investment was worth it since I've gotten good use out of them.

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you work? Because I can’t imagine any professional job requiring at least periodic in person attendance where you could survive let alone thrive on that wardrobe. Looking the part is an important component of getting external facing or higher roles.

I wouldn’t consider myself especially stylish. Most of my day to day is built for comfort, and my work gear is an investment in my career. Decent fitting separates from any of the mid-range stores above can serve you well across multiple uses. For example, dress pants and a nice TJ Maxx blouse look great in a business casual office, at a PTA meeting, or at a baby shower. I have work dresses that can do double duty at weddings, depending on what shoes and accessories I wear. Some of my favorite pieces are 10+years old and didn’t cost more than $100. Clothes are kept cleaned, pressed, and mended.

As for shoes, $80 seems like the bare minimum for a quality leather pair these days. I have wide feet, and I view shoes as an investment in my health. A decent pair will last me for years with proper care. A cheap pair will hurt my feet, hurt my knees, and fall apart quickly. I can spend $100 now, or $400 on the chiropractor or podiatrist later.

x100

I wish people who struggle professionally would at least consider their appearance as a potential cause; people treat good looking people better. I guarantee showing up and looking the part is half the battle. And if you need a justification to spend, remind yourself that looking polished is part of an overall professional image that comes with a price tag attached.

I have a jammed pack closet, and I am one of those people who wears a new outfit almost every day. I also have hefty retirement and emergency savings, no debt aside from my mortgage, two kids in college, vacation when I want, and I'm single.

I prioritize style because it matters to me, and I am into aesthetics.

Another thing to consider, since I don't typically gain weight, I can carry over pieces from year to year and mix-n-match. So, what appears to be a new outfit, is, at times, an outfit hodgepodge.

I know how to shop for bargains, and I frequently stalk an outfit until it goes on sale. There's a chambray top at Ralph Lauren that I've been watching for several weeks. It's currently $168, and I won't budge on purchasing it until it's 30-40% off.

Anonymous wrote:You decide what your aesthetic is - classic, bohemian, preppy, feminine, artsy, sporty, etc. - figure out what stores and designers cater to that aesthetic, and then look for staple secondhand or nwt pieces through poshmark, fb marketplace, depop, etc. I like feeling stylish even when I'm wearing a simple outfit and over the years I think I've cultivated a somewhat unique personal style without spending a lot of money. But I do spend time on it. I keep pinterest boards of what I buy so I can visualize what I have and what goes together. I also sell things I don't wear anymore and then funnel the proceeds into new stuff, so I never really feel like I lose money on things. I think it's important to have the right sunglasses, shoes, jeans, and jewelry. Those are the items that, to me, can make you look dated or frumpy.

Please recommend non-frumpy sunglasses and summer shoes.

I was getting my wardrobe from yoox.com all Italian and French brands but not most recent collections. You can buy D&G shoes for $100 there; I had coats at $60 pure cashmere shopping in spring on deep sale
My HHI was 0.5mm at that time but I never bought anything at stores so when I divorced and my income halved I didn’t feel any difference in my personal lifestyle

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it either OP. Now, I do have a very high HHI but I feel like I can either do really nice fashion or things I value more, like a cuter house/expensive kid activities/travel.

It comes down to priorities but I feel like a) it has to be a pretty high priority and b) you have to have a top HHi.

Alternatively you can just not have any kids or a mortgage.

It's funny because I think you and OP are both assuming that style means having like $10,000 dresses. That's one kind of style, but it's not very attainable for most people. If that's your thing, save up or shop Poshmark. But for most people having style just means finding clothes you like that look good on you- just putting a little thought into how you dress yourself. It really doesn't take a lot of $ for that.

Skincare, on the other hand...

Im not assuming it means having 10K dresses, but I admit I am interpreting “style” as something more than you are. I think that it’s more like having some flair and a sense of confidence about it. I find things I like and that look good, but they’re from target and I wouldn’t call myself stylish at all.

I do know that lots of fashionistas can do it for a very low price. But that takes a lot of time and effort, and yes some money that could be spent on other things, which that goes to my statement about priorities. I have had moments in life where I started trying to dress nicer and it is *so* much easier when you let yourself spend more money on things. Yes you can find that perfect fashionable shirt for the same price as a shirt you’d get at Walmart…if you have developed an eye for what you’re looking for, if you are willing to dig through things at consignment stores or posh mark, and if you’re willing to keep checking. If you let yourself spend more money, then it takes a fraction of the time and effort. And even then I think they spend more than I would.

So i suppose I am looking at the question myopically and I am thinking more about people who are more like me—busy moms with mortgages and high-ish HHIs—and I don’t know how they afford the really nice clothes they wear. Maybe they are just way better with other expenses than I am, or maybe they do take the time to scour consignment stores!

I think they probably just enjoy clothes more than you do? There are lots of busy people who aren't as high earning as you probably are who manage to have a little flair about them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it either OP. Now, I do have a very high HHI but I feel like I can either do really nice fashion or things I value more, like a cuter house/expensive kid activities/travel.

It comes down to priorities but I feel like a) it has to be a pretty high priority and b) you have to have a top HHi.

Alternatively you can just not have any kids or a mortgage.

It's funny because I think you and OP are both assuming that style means having like $10,000 dresses. That's one kind of style, but it's not very attainable for most people. If that's your thing, save up or shop Poshmark. But for most people having style just means finding clothes you like that look good on you- just putting a little thought into how you dress yourself. It really doesn't take a lot of $ for that.

Skincare, on the other hand...

Im not assuming it means having 10K dresses, but I admit I am interpreting “style” as something more than you are. I think that it’s more like having some flair and a sense of confidence about it. I find things I like and that look good, but they’re from target and I wouldn’t call myself stylish at all.

I do know that lots of fashionistas can do it for a very low price. But that takes a lot of time and effort, and yes some money that could be spent on other things, which that goes to my statement about priorities. I have had moments in life where I started trying to dress nicer and it is *so* much easier when you let yourself spend more money on things. Yes you can find that perfect fashionable shirt for the same price as a shirt you’d get at Walmart…if you have developed an eye for what you’re looking for, if you are willing to dig through things at consignment stores or posh mark, and if you’re willing to keep checking. If you let yourself spend more money, then it takes a fraction of the time and effort. And even then I think they spend more than I would.

So i suppose I am looking at the question myopically and I am thinking more about people who are more like me—busy moms with mortgages and high-ish HHIs—and I don’t know how they afford the really nice clothes they wear. Maybe they are just way better with other expenses than I am, or maybe they do take the time to scour consignment stores!

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it either OP. Now, I do have a very high HHI but I feel like I can either do really nice fashion or things I value more, like a cuter house/expensive kid activities/travel.

It comes down to priorities but I feel like a) it has to be a pretty high priority and b) you have to have a top HHi.

Alternatively you can just not have any kids or a mortgage.

It's funny because I think you and OP are both assuming that style means having like $10,000 dresses. That's one kind of style, but it's not very attainable for most people. If that's your thing, save up or shop Poshmark. But for most people having style just means finding clothes you like that look good on you- just putting a little thought into how you dress yourself. It really doesn't take a lot of $ for that.

Skincare, on the other hand...

I don’t get it either OP. Now, I do have a very high HHI but I feel like I can either do really nice fashion or things I value more, like a cuter house/expensive kid activities/travel.

It comes down to priorities but I feel like a) it has to be a pretty high priority and b) you have to have a top HHi.

Alternatively you can just not have any kids or a mortgage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They make more money than you. They have family money. They have a trust fund.

+1. Also, buy nice staples like neutral cashmere sweaters, well fitting jeans and pants and store them properly. They are timeless.

This is definitely not true. Boot cut jeans, for example, were out for a good 15 years and have only come back recently. You can keep and store a particular cut of jeans, but in the meantime you'll have to buy new jeans to look current.

I kept my favorite 7 for all mankind boot cut jeans from 15 years ago. I still love them. They waited kindly in my drawer until they came back it style. Now I get compliments all over again.

Buy good quality neutral colored basics. Flash it up with some trendy pieces and keep them. You'd be amazed at how frugal style can be. Plus I have a consistently preppy style (likely) since birth. They cuts change but they come back. There's only so many cuts and styles that can be done. Quality pieces that fit well are key

Forgot to mention... skinny never goes out of style. You can rock almost anything if you're thin.

Skinny was not in style for most of my lifetime, and now it has gone out. You can wear anything, but it won't be a current look.

You must be 100s of years old if skinny hasn't been in style for most of your life. I don't remember a time in my, my mother's, or my grandmother's life where being thin was not the look to achieve! Even in the 40s and 50s some women ate tape worms to stay thin, or smoked cigarettes. Thank goodness those things are out of fashion.

People confuse "style" with trends. You can ignore all trends, because you will be unconsciously swayed by them anyway, since they are all around you - you will like them or hate them, and they will either be flattering on you, neutral or horrible.

What makes you stylish is when you put thought into your appearance and dress to flatter your figure and coloring. It means you have to know yourself. Do you have a slim waist relative to your body shape? Pick clothes that draw attention to it: high waist bottom or skirt with tucked-in tops, dresses with a waist, etc. Do you have great legs? Wear short skirts, wear skinny jeans. Do you have beautiful, lush hair? Let it loose! Put in a colorful barrette to draw attention to it! If you're busty, you have to be careful to avoid the mumu look.

What about your coloring? Often, people's favorite colors tend to be a good match for their skin tone. Look at your veins inside your wrist: if they're a cool shade, you would look good in cool colors. If they're a warm shade, you would look good in warm colors. If you're pale, dark colors work better and don't wash you out. If you're darker-skinned or tanned, you can rock pale colors. Are you petite? Please avoid large patterns, you will be swallowed whole. If you're often presenting online or on TV, avoid all patterns and go for the solid colors, otherwise your clothes will either bleed on screen or distract.

And finally, for the love of all things, please yourself. A happy, confident person is always more attractive than a morose, insecure one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They make more money than you. They have family money. They have a trust fund.

+1. Also, buy nice staples like neutral cashmere sweaters, well fitting jeans and pants and store them properly. They are timeless.

This is definitely not true. Boot cut jeans, for example, were out for a good 15 years and have only come back recently. You can keep and store a particular cut of jeans, but in the meantime you'll have to buy new jeans to look current.

Not true. I am a person who's never stopped wearing bootcuts, and guess what - they were around all this time, I bought my last pair at Nordstrom around 2016. Companies kept making them and people kept buying them. It may be true for the very of the moment trends like those step up hems that showed up and disappeared quickly, but skinny jeans weren't the only game in town for those 15 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They make more money than you. They have family money. They have a trust fund.

+1. Also, buy nice staples like neutral cashmere sweaters, well fitting jeans and pants and store them properly. They are timeless.

This is definitely not true. Boot cut jeans, for example, were out for a good 15 years and have only come back recently. You can keep and store a particular cut of jeans, but in the meantime you'll have to buy new jeans to look current.

I kept my favorite 7 for all mankind boot cut jeans from 15 years ago. I still love them. They waited kindly in my drawer until they came back it style. Now I get compliments all over again.

Buy good quality neutral colored basics. Flash it up with some trendy pieces and keep them. You'd be amazed at how frugal style can be. Plus I have a consistently preppy style (likely) since birth. They cuts change but they come back. There's only so many cuts and styles that can be done. Quality pieces that fit well are key

Forgot to mention... skinny never goes out of style. You can rock almost anything if you're thin.

Skinny was not in style for most of my lifetime, and now it has gone out. You can wear anything, but it won't be a current look.

Not PP but I think they mean your body being thin, and maybe you mean skinny jeans? As an aside, I’m thin, but like a thin apple shape unfortunately, and not fit at all. I think being fit or having that hourglass proportion is somewhat better for the current styles. Would love to have some cake as Gen Z like to say, but genetics say not going to happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They make more money than you. They have family money. They have a trust fund.

+1. Also, buy nice staples like neutral cashmere sweaters, well fitting jeans and pants and store them properly. They are timeless.

This is definitely not true. Boot cut jeans, for example, were out for a good 15 years and have only come back recently. You can keep and store a particular cut of jeans, but in the meantime you'll have to buy new jeans to look current.

I kept my favorite 7 for all mankind boot cut jeans from 15 years ago. I still love them. They waited kindly in my drawer until they came back it style. Now I get compliments all over again.

Buy good quality neutral colored basics. Flash it up with some trendy pieces and keep them. You'd be amazed at how frugal style can be. Plus I have a consistently preppy style (likely) since birth. They cuts change but they come back. There's only so many cuts and styles that can be done. Quality pieces that fit well are key

Forgot to mention... skinny never goes out of style. You can rock almost anything if you're thin.

Skinny was not in style for most of my lifetime, and now it has gone out. You can wear anything, but it won't be a current look.

We make way less than you, OP, and have always shopped at second-hand stores, brick and mortar or online. I prefer it, because I usually don't like current trends. Some essentials we buy new, and the rest are curated from old collections that make their way into consignment shops. It gives my outfits a little flair, because they're not the usual suburban mom uniform.

Same thing for our furniture - it's a mix of lovely estate sale finds, and some IKEA solid wood stalwarts that go well together, because I have an eye for decor.

Same thing for the garden - I like to source plants online that aren't the usual things people pick up at Home Depot, and I don't make the average landscaper's mistake of mulching away half my yard. The end result looks interesting, and not a copycat version of the neighbor's.

"Style" means that you add a little thoughtful originality to your life. It doesn't mean paying more.

Your mistake is that you're not putting thought into it.