Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?

He is her closest and fondest family member yet didn’t know of the date until he got the wedding invite in the mail??? Something doesn’t add up. Obviously, they can’t be that close if she never shared the wedding date before that. Regardless, your due date is your due date and you may deliver late. Or (G-d forbid), there may be some reason that you or the baby need medical attention (btdt so I never assume everything will always go smoothly). He can tell his sister he can try to attend but he has to see how things are going with you (bc you are top priority and I don’t see how he can go). I certainly hope you will have plenty of help while he is 6 hours away. It isn’t as if he can just go to the ceremony and be back home in 30 minutes while you and the baby take a quick nap! Imo, he needs to skip this. Your sil did nothing wrong in picking the date - as others said, it was probably picked before she knew you were pregnant but your dh really shouldn’t go.

OP here. He plans on just driving up for the ceremony and then coming back the same day. Crazy amount of driving in one day, but it sounds like she really wanted him there.

My DH had to go back to work 14 hours/day the day after we got home from the hospital (we got stuck there 5 days). Unless she also has young toddlers, she will be able to cope if the baby is 3+ days old and there are no complications.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is trying to get married after 2 yrs of waiting!!!! There are mid week weddings.

Step back and realize world isn’t about you.

x1000

For example, the bride may be posting on Redit...Coincidence or not? I finally get to set my wedding date and my SIL now tells me she's pregnant. UGH!

OP, I'm sure you knew that she would want to marry this person. Why didn't you hold off getting pregnant? Were you trying to have an excuse not to attend?

Anonymous wrote:DH and I just got a wedding invitation to my SIL's wedding. It will be a church ceremony and reception in August a 6 hour drive from where we live - but the date is literally a few days after my due date. DH and I and our family, as well as her parents are the only ones invited from her side of the family.

I can't help feeling like this was not just a coincidence. She knew I was expecting in August, and of all the weeks to pick..... Do you think she does not actually want me to attend?

Oh well. Guess you can't go. Now get over it.

My question to you is why are you trying to stir up drama? Figure that out and fix your problem/s. When you've got that done then you can start thinking about other people.

I've been on both sides of this situation. I was a bride who scheduled my June wedding when I got engaged in December. My sister, who I treasure and wouldn't think of excluding, was pregnant with her first child but didn't yet know it when I scheduled our venues for June. God bless her. She walked down the aisle as my matron of honor with her 8 mos. pregnant belly. Her doctor advised against her flying halfway across the country so her husband (who is a doctor) drove them a thousand miles so she could be in the wedding. I had a beautiful silk dress custom made for her that she actually liked and wore again after the wedding. But still, I knew that I was asking a LOT for her to show up for me.
The other situation - also my wedding. When I announced my wedding date in December, my brother's fiance decided that she had to have their wedding in June a week before mine, and 2,00 miles across the country from my wedding. It was absolutely a way for her to try to establish her dominance over me. I said nothing and went. Years later, no surprise, she cheated on him and they are now divorced. By the way, she tried to enlist me to tell my brother that she was cheating on him so she didn't have to be the one to deliver the bad news. She was a real winner. Life is long. Sometimes you get to see karma at work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?

So maybe she's just clueless? Kind of sounds like it.

She's not clueless, on the contrary, she is a METICULOUS and savvy planner - much better planner than DH or I.

If she is a meticulous planner, she likely planned date snd maybe venue way before the 7 months from your due date she likely found out you were pregnant. I am not sure why you want to read something more in this that you really have. Unless you already have a bad relationship with her but otherwise planning a wedding is often hard.

Everyone is trying to get married after 2 yrs of waiting!!!! There are mid week weddings.

Step back and realize world isn’t about you.

We missed two weddings when we had DD — my best friend’s and DH’s sister. One had booked the date & venue before we got pregnant. The other had a dream venue and that was the only date available. I was sad to miss out, but we sent nice gifts and everyone moved on. Don’t make drama where none may exist. Send your regrets and a gift and forget about it.

Op, did she know your due date before she picked the date or not?

I would be furious if I were you.

I hemorrhaged 6 days post partum. I would have been passed out on the bathroom floor alone with a crying newborn had my husband not been there.

Anonymous wrote:LOL

You ever think its not about you? She's planning a wedding and the venue might be booked for every other week? Or she doesn't want to get married in hot, humid July? Or she knows you could deliver early or late?

Get over yourself. Its not like you would be attending at 9 months pregnant or two weeks postpartum anyway. So why schedule it around you?

Np. I get this, but it's kind of weird to plan a wedding that you know your brother can't attend, without saying anything to him about it. Op said her husband and his sister are close. Wouldn't you feel obligated to approach your brother ahead of time so he's not surprised? I would.

Op, it's not about you, but it's certainly a strange way for her to say "you guys don't really matter."

Alas, I would totally suck it up: have husband decline the invitation with his regrets. But If she's upset about it, don't be a door mat. Let her know this is just unfortunate timing, but that if her brothers presence was important she shouldn't have planned the wedding at this time.

My guess is she doesn't Care.

If it's not clear, your husband should not abandon you right after the baby is born.

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered moving your due date.

This is a great idea - why don't you get a scheduled induction. Maybe move the your date 2 weeks before the wedding and you can bring the newborn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?

He is her closest and fondest family member yet didn’t know of the date until he got the wedding invite in the mail??? Something doesn’t add up. Obviously, they can’t be that close if she never shared the wedding date before that. Regardless, your due date is your due date and you may deliver late. Or (G-d forbid), there may be some reason that you or the baby need medical attention (btdt so I never assume everything will always go smoothly). He can tell his sister he can try to attend but he has to see how things are going with you (bc you are top priority and I don’t see how he can go). I certainly hope you will have plenty of help while he is 6 hours away. It isn’t as if he can just go to the ceremony and be back home in 30 minutes while you and the baby take a quick nap! Imo, he needs to skip this. Your sil did nothing wrong in picking the date - as others said, it was probably picked before she knew you were pregnant but your dh really shouldn’t go.

OP here. He plans on just driving up for the ceremony and then coming back the same day. Crazy amount of driving in one day, but it sounds like she really wanted him there.

How will he feel if you go into labor while he is at the wedding? I would guess that you really want him in the hospital with you.

Have you considered moving your due date.

I think it's weird. No way would an inlaw in our family have done this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?

He is her closest and fondest family member yet didn’t know of the date until he got the wedding invite in the mail??? Something doesn’t add up. Obviously, they can’t be that close if she never shared the wedding date before that. Regardless, your due date is your due date and you may deliver late. Or (G-d forbid), there may be some reason that you or the baby need medical attention (btdt so I never assume everything will always go smoothly). He can tell his sister he can try to attend but he has to see how things are going with you (bc you are top priority and I don’t see how he can go). I certainly hope you will have plenty of help while he is 6 hours away. It isn’t as if he can just go to the ceremony and be back home in 30 minutes while you and the baby take a quick nap! Imo, he needs to skip this. Your sil did nothing wrong in picking the date - as others said, it was probably picked before she knew you were pregnant but your dh really shouldn’t go.

OP here. He plans on just driving up for the ceremony and then coming back the same day. Crazy amount of driving in one day, but it sounds like she really wanted him there.