Anonymous wrote:The demands of a big law young associate and a big law partner are different. Partners have a lot more control over their schedules and typically (though not always) work less (still a lot, but less than junior associates). Associates often (though not always) have pretty minimal control and grind out a lot of hours. Agreed that this is going to depend on the firm, practice, clients, and partner(s). I point this out because while all of this advice and perspective is good and helpful, some of it just won't work as well for a big law junior associate. Just by way of example with the family dinner, if I routinely left before 7pm in the first 2 years at a law firm, I believe I would have been let go. I'm not sure I would have felt comfortable doing this for a few years, other than on Fridays.

Another thing to keep in mind OP is that, unfortunately, the employability of a junior attorney is not great. So, if your husband has only been practicing for a short time, it might be very difficult for him to get a different job.

I realize this is not a comment full of helpful advice, but perhaps this could be helpful perspective.

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t call yourself a “single mom” in anyway because it is ridiculous when you have wealth pouring in from someone else’s labor.

Anonymous wrote:I learned to manage the staff. And downshifted full time jobs, still well paid but not what I could make if I was still a ball buster.

I take kid vacations with family and friends since spouse is a work addict and unreliable. I don’t factor him in for much at all - appts, chatting about emails/decisions, vacation plans (besides date and my recommendations (easy ones for me/all inclusive)).

That said there are two ways it can unfold. I work with well paid private equity partners who are actually pretty involved and in the know about their kids, wife and household, WHEN they are in town or around. They also read hardcovers, go to shows, take wife away in weekend bday trips that THEY planned! Montreal book was right in his desk during the board call.

Then we’re are the work addicts who don’t even read their personal emails or say thank you and like to stay ignorant to what it takes to raise kids and own a property or make a home. This life gets lonely and you just socialize with friends and extended family more, you need emotional support elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not in big law but works a job with similarly demanding hours (late nights and weekends). I quit my job. Honestly I hated being back at work anyway, but it didn’t help that I was working full time + primary parent evenings and weekends. It just made more sense to redefine my responsibilities as primary parent only. We have figured out a better balance now and he is off work for dinner through bedtime every day. Then if he chooses to resume and work til 10pm or whatever instead of having personal time, that’s up to him. It’s a grind for both of us but it’s hopefully not forever. We have goals of early retirement so it’s worth the long hours right now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with all these big law families with 3 kids? Sounds like the new status symbol? But like, you already don’t have any time to spend with your kids and you want more kids?

Lol I'll bite, I'm the one pregnant with my third. My husband spends 3 hours a day with our kids, and all of the weekends. He's home at 5:30 and with them till bedtime, I'd be shocked if there are many other parents on this board who beat that. Also, we want three kids to put more out more than the ones idiots like you are raising.

Mark this post. You will never again see someone make such outrageous claims: big law DH spends 3 hrs per day and all of the weekends and is home by 5:30 every day? So many questions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with all these big law families with 3 kids? Sounds like the new status symbol? But like, you already don’t have any time to spend with your kids and you want more kids?

Lol I'll bite, I'm the one pregnant with my third. My husband spends 3 hours a day with our kids, and all of the weekends. He's home at 5:30 and with them till bedtime, I'd be shocked if there are many other parents on this board who beat that. Also, we want three kids to put more out more than the ones idiots like you are raising.

Mark this post. You will never again see someone make such outrageous claims: big law DH spends 3 hrs per day and all of the weekends and is home by 5:30 every day? So many questions.

Probably a specialist like tax or IP brought in on m&a and not corporate law

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with all these big law families with 3 kids? Sounds like the new status symbol? But like, you already don’t have any time to spend with your kids and you want more kids?

Lol I'll bite, I'm the one pregnant with my third. My husband spends 3 hours a day with our kids, and all of the weekends. He's home at 5:30 and with them till bedtime, I'd be shocked if there are many other parents on this board who beat that. Also, we want three kids to put more out more than the ones idiots like you are raising.

Ie once they are partners they still work long hours but can set breaks to schedule their kids in their lives.

But this PP is so nasty it’s good her DH spends time with the kids too.

You say I have kids as a status symbol but I'm the nasty one? Sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with all these big law families with 3 kids? Sounds like the new status symbol? But like, you already don’t have any time to spend with your kids and you want more kids?

Lol I'll bite, I'm the one pregnant with my third. My husband spends 3 hours a day with our kids, and all of the weekends. He's home at 5:30 and with them till bedtime, I'd be shocked if there are many other parents on this board who beat that. Also, we want three kids to put more out more than the ones idiots like you are raising.

Mark this post. You will never again see someone make such outrageous claims: big law DH spends 3 hrs per day and all of the weekends and is home by 5:30 every day? So many questions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with all these big law families with 3 kids? Sounds like the new status symbol? But like, you already don’t have any time to spend with your kids and you want more kids?

Lol I'll bite, I'm the one pregnant with my third. My husband spends 3 hours a day with our kids, and all of the weekends. He's home at 5:30 and with them till bedtime, I'd be shocked if there are many other parents on this board who beat that. Also, we want three kids to put more out more than the ones idiots like you are raising.