Anonymous wrote:The assumptions and just ignorant responses here are so wild. Who said that AP had and affair on his wife and child? You're just making stuff up!! We don't even know if OP is male or female!!

So many projections here. The truth is, you can love two people at once. It happens get over it. People compartmentalize all day, every day.

Two, I can name three exes that I know without a doubt that still love me and I was in a relationships with them over 20 years ago. When you have an intimate relationship with someone and you know what you know about them, it's not hard to imagine that they still love you. Sorry if you've never experienced that in your life.

But mostly, OP, don't go to AP's house unless you're ready to blow up your marriage. It will only cause a disaster. If you no longer want to be married, then divorce.

1. Op said the other was married with kids

2. Unless you have recently engaged in conversation with an ex you cannot claim they still love you that's your arrogance and ego talking

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

I guess you don't understand that people who cheat don't care about ANY of this. Like, none of it.

That's the crazy lady whose DH's cheating played out here. She gave all those details once before. So much projection from her on every affair thread. She believes all the lies her therapist and groveling DH told her to make her feel better -- the cheater is broken, he's playing out his own father's cheating, all affairs consist of just 45 minutes in a Motel 6 every 3 months, all SAHMs are whoring themselves out on Ashley Madison looking for their next meal ticket, and yet all women having affairs are deeply in love and pining for the man, while all men having affairs just want a warm hole, blah blah blah. So tiresome.

Haha we both recognized her! She is DCUM famous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

Soooooo... you wrote this weird short story and STILL don't know if AP is man or if he's even married. Smh.

Sadly I recognize this person, they’ve written the exact same details before in an anti-adultery rant (the whole you don’t know his mom’s name, his first love, what he’s truly afraid of blah blah). Last time she wrote this someone replied actually I DO know all of that about my AP and more. I am guessing she has been cheated on and feels she is her husband’s true love so this is the story she tells herself to feel better about taking him back.

Some affairs are just for sex but some are truly intimate affairs with a strong emotional component.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

I guess you don't understand that people who cheat don't care about ANY of this. Like, none of it.

That's the crazy lady whose DH's cheating played out here. She gave all those details once before. So much projection from her on every affair thread. She believes all the lies her therapist and groveling DH told her to make her feel better -- the cheater is broken, he's playing out his own father's cheating, all affairs consist of just 45 minutes in a Motel 6 every 3 months, all SAHMs are whoring themselves out on Ashley Madison looking for their next meal ticket, and yet all women having affairs are deeply in love and pining for the man, while all men having affairs just want a warm hole, blah blah blah. So tiresome.

Anonymous wrote:

But as someone who left my marriage to be with my AP after a 6-year affair, I will say it is possible to love a spouse but more as family rather than a lover. You can have a very good, calm, happy, but platonic relationship, which in a lot of ways can seem healthy and loving -- but you will always yearn for that romantic component. I think that's human nature. Those of you with husbands who actually desire you take that for granted while patting yourselves on the back for your high morals (and some of you probably deny your husbands the desire they'd like to feel). If OP and her AP are still in love, I think they should divorce and plan a life together.

This is vomit-inducing. Of course your feelings for your spouse changed when you were investing emotionally and physically in someone else for six years. You can try to rationalize your shi!ty decisions but no else buys it.

My straying only happened after a very long time of not being desired, an entire marriage worth actually. I got married quite young and was too inexperienced to know what a good relationship looked like. We had a million talks about his lack of desire but nothing changed. I still considered it a good marriage believe it or not because we enjoyed each other's company. And I definitely loved him, but only like a brother after so much rejection -- this was years before the affair started, and I wasn't looking, but it was too intoxicating to give up when I found it.

And I'm glad I didn't, because I deserve a FULL marriage, one that includes sex and romance and affection and attraction. And I suspect most of the women (it's always women) who are so virulently anti-cheating have that type of relationship already and take it for granted. Like they think it's part of the definition of marriage, so they can't fathom that some spouses don't receive that. And they talk about not being able to look their husband in the eye if they ever cheated, as if it's their strong morals -- and not their overall sense of being treated well, loved, and respected by their husband -- that makes them feel that way.

And before you say "then you should've divorced if you didn't feel loved and respected", I didn't see why I should upend either of our lives when everyone was getting what they wanted. During my affair was probably the happiest time in my marriage for both of us because I wasn't harassing him to love me and he was free to immerse himself in golf and computer games. Until several years passed and I realized my initial lust for my AP hadn't subsided...

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

I guess you don't understand that people who cheat don't care about ANY of this. Like, none of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

Soooooo... you wrote this weird short story and STILL don't know if AP is man or if he's even married. Smh.

+1

I'm just wondering what kind of legs over her head doggy-style position this is because I've never...

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

Soooooo... you wrote this weird short story and STILL don't know if AP is man or if he's even married. Smh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

Um… you are weird.

If she’s able to visualize what her ex-partner is currently doing with his wife, it might snap her out of any delusional fantasy she has that she meant anything at all.

FIFY

Still weird.

Anonymous wrote:So you are going to walk up to the front door and say what exactly when his wife or kids open it?

"Hello, you don't know me, but I banged your dad for several years. Would you like a new step-mom?"

Funnier when the ex-Ap is like “who are you?” 3 years is 3 decades to a man. He doesn’t anything about the affair at that point. If he hasn’t reached out, you can guarantee he didn’t look back after he ended it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the hate people with APs get on this forum. Look, clearly, they are looking for advice, why jump on them and start saying narcissist?

That being said, OP, are you now willing to leave your marriage? If you are, then divorce, and see what the AP is up to. Otherwise, don't, because you know it will spiral out of control...

Absolutely horrible advice. Stay out of his marriage. If he cut her off then she needs to respect that. There is a reason he hasn't contacted and since he's a dude it's because he used it and is done with it. The thrill is gone.

Yeah she is a really great person :

"I love my spouse and our relationship is better than ever. There are kids involved on both sides."

Yet I want to harm my spouse, some other spouse and two sets of kids, blow up two households. You know, because I love my spouse and our relationship is better than ever.

Such a troll post.

Yep. So obviously a troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine him having sex with his wife. Legs over her head, doggy style snd the two of them falling asleep cradled in each other’s arms while he tells her how much he loves her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to him, stroking her cheek gently..

Imagine them at dinner earlier tonight, dressed to the nines, both turning heads as they walked in, feeding each other bites of their Michelin star plates. They look like movie stars together. You were so far below his level.

He gets up the next morning make her a latte and brings it to her in bed as he crawls back under the covers and puts his mouth between her legs.

Yeah you were a midlife bang that he hates himself for, almost losing everything he truly cared about. She never betrayed him and is too classy to ever be somebody’s side piece, a dirty nasty liar he could never trust. He has too much respect for her and never felt he was good enough.

You are delusional and aren’t close to the woman she is. You don’t know his mother’s name, his first love or what he is truly afraid of. Do you know the name of his best friend and how he died at 29? His deepest fears? The name of his childhood pet or the failure he felt when he couldn’t help his dad get off the bottle?

He didn’t confess any truths to you. You were somebody he needed to escape himself when he felt like sh@t and thought he wasn’t worthy. Thankfully he woke up, ended it and is making up for it every single day.

You are still delusional, living a lie and insecure.

Um… you are weird.

If she’s able to visualize what her partner is currently doing with his wife, it might snap her out of any delusional fantasy she has that she meant anything at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp - you are wrong. They happen because cheater is broken not relationship. Educate yourself.

no, you’re wrong, some happen because cheater is broken but most of them happen because relationship is broken, lack of sex, lots of fights, no heart to heart talks

BS.

The men usually are f&cking for variety and low point/with themselves sultry midlife, not due to their wife or marriage. The women are bored and looking for an exit affair. Studies show the vast differences in the why between the sexes. The men usually aren’t unhappy at Home. Most say they have good marriages. Cheating women don’t say the same.

Anonymous wrote:Pp - you are wrong. They happen because cheater is broken not relationship. Educate yourself.

no, you’re wrong, some happen because cheater is broken but most of them happen because relationship is broken, lack of sex, lots of fights, no heart to heart talks

Pp - you are wrong. They happen because cheater is broken not relationship. Educate yourself.