Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- You cannot imagine being late, as in no circumstance in which you were late , really???
- Did you remind him ahead of time , like 30-60 min ahead of time?
- Is he usually late for stuff?
- So don’t ask him to do this again, that is your solution, why is it necessary to post about it?
- Are you looking for suggestions on appropriate punishment for BIL?

Op here. Dh does a million favors for BIL. He helped him in college, grad school, financially, getting his first job, etc. BIL never does anything for Dh in return and the one time DH asks BIL, he let us down.

Dh won’t hold a grudge and will continue to help his brother out all the time.

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

And your last paragraph is why you should have known not to rely on him. This is who your BIL is. Anyway, you’ll know not to do it next time. Your only mistake was trusting a grown adult to do the right thing for once.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad to see DCUM band together to coddle adult men and have no expectation on them being capable to pick up a child on time from a timed event.

After agreeing to do so. Pretty sad.

Well, if the poor guy didn't agree we would read about that, too.

Yeah, poor man-baby.

Anonymous wrote:- You cannot imagine being late, as in no circumstance in which you were late , really???
- Did you remind him ahead of time , like 30-60 min ahead of time?
- Is he usually late for stuff?
- So don’t ask him to do this again, that is your solution, why is it necessary to post about it?
- Are you looking for suggestions on appropriate punishment for BIL?

Op here. Dh does a million favors for BIL. He helped him in college, grad school, financially, getting his first job, etc. BIL never does anything for Dh in return and the one time DH asks BIL, he let us down.

Dh won’t hold a grudge and will continue to help his brother out all the time.

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad to see DCUM band together to coddle adult men and have no expectation on them being capable to pick up a child on time from a timed event.

After agreeing to do so. Pretty sad.

Well, if the poor guy didn't agree we would read about that, too.

Anonymous wrote:So glad to see DCUM band together to coddle adult men and have no expectation on them being capable to pick up a child on time from a timed event.

After agreeing to do so. Pretty sad.

So glad to see DCUM band together to coddle adult men and have no expectation on them being capable to pick up a child on time from a timed event.

OP, the only power you have, since you asked or a favor, is not to ask again. That's it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate asking people for favors. Absolutely hate it. Even the most well-intentioned people can mess it up.

That's why I hate doing favors, even with all my good intentions they will still find a way to make me feel bad that I did not do it up to their standards.

Showing up on time to pick up a child from school is a pretty low bar.

Actually, it is a pretty high bar. It sounds like the brother and SIL didn't really think this through and assigned the task to the BIL. There is no indication at all that this was something he wanted to do or volunteered to do.

I think the parents made a bad choice and hopefully they will make better choices in the future.

BIL could have said no if he couldn’t be bothered.

4 pages of people overreacting. How did the BIL respond afterwards? He’s a single guy, he probably didn’t get the urgency. My husband is a good dad and responsible at work but terrible with time. When he absolutely had to be there for the kids, I tell him 15-30 min earlier than needed.

The BIL may not have realized the issue with being a little late. I’m a teacher and a parent and I don’t think this is something to be outraged over. He did you a favor. Now he knows and if he doesn’t get it, don’t ask him again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate asking people for favors. Absolutely hate it. Even the most well-intentioned people can mess it up.

That's why I hate doing favors, even with all my good intentions they will still find a way to make me feel bad that I did not do it up to their standards.

Showing up on time to pick up a child from school is a pretty low bar.

Only when you are a SAHM. Some of us have to work.

If you can’t commit to being there on time, then you shouldn’t commit to doing the favor. Parents who work have to figure this out every day because showing up 30 minutes late for pick-up at school, daycare, etc. isn’t optional.

- WOHM who has never picked their kid up 30 min late

Well aren’t you perfect .

It sucks, but that’s what you sign up for when you have kids.

You sign up to be perfect, because I did not get the memo!
Did you push it out with the afterbirth, because all I got was placenta.

Does it really need to be explained to you that it’s a dick move to force some other adult to watch your kid for an extra 30 min because you didn’t get there on time? It’s one thing if it’s something truly unavoidable, like you get in a car accident on the way there and you can’t reach any back up people to get them, but there is nothing in OP’s post to suggest anything like that happened.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate asking people for favors. Absolutely hate it. Even the most well-intentioned people can mess it up.

That's why I hate doing favors, even with all my good intentions they will still find a way to make me feel bad that I did not do it up to their standards.

Showing up on time to pick up a child from school is a pretty low bar.

Only when you are a SAHM. Some of us have to work.

If you can’t commit to being there on time, then you shouldn’t commit to doing the favor. Parents who work have to figure this out every day because showing up 30 minutes late for pick-up at school, daycare, etc. isn’t optional.

- WOHM who has never picked their kid up 30 min late

Well aren’t you perfect .

It sucks, but that’s what you sign up for when you have kids.

You sign up to be perfect, because I did not get the memo!
Did you push it out with the afterbirth, because all I got was placenta.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate asking people for favors. Absolutely hate it. Even the most well-intentioned people can mess it up.

That's why I hate doing favors, even with all my good intentions they will still find a way to make me feel bad that I did not do it up to their standards.

Showing up on time to pick up a child from school is a pretty low bar.

Only when you are a SAHM. Some of us have to work.

If you can’t commit to being there on time, then you shouldn’t commit to doing the favor. Parents who work have to figure this out every day because showing up 30 minutes late for pick-up at school, daycare, etc. isn’t optional.

- WOHM who has never picked their kid up 30 min late

Well aren’t you perfect .

It sucks, but that’s what you sign up for when you have kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate asking people for favors. Absolutely hate it. Even the most well-intentioned people can mess it up.

That's why I hate doing favors, even with all my good intentions they will still find a way to make me feel bad that I did not do it up to their standards.

Showing up on time to pick up a child from school is a pretty low bar.

Only when you are a SAHM. Some of us have to work.

If you can’t commit to being there on time, then you shouldn’t commit to doing the favor. Parents who work have to figure this out every day because showing up 30 minutes late for pick-up at school, daycare, etc. isn’t optional.

- WOHM who has never picked their kid up 30 min late

Well aren’t you perfect .

Some of these same people here saying that OP should be a gas at the brother-in-law are the same ones who have been posting about oh my God I just stay late for work , or traffic was bad, and I was rushing to make pick up at aftercare or preschool or what have you.
All of you buddies and your man have been late.

Anonymous wrote:You people SUCK. They asked BIL if he could pick up child from school and BIL agreed. If a grown adult has agreed to do something, then they should do it otherwise decline. You don't have to have children, much less be just a person that has attended any school in their lifetime to know school ends at a specific time. I can assume none of you on here has asked anyone for any help ever in your lifetime and never plan to, correct?

Yes I would imagine that most of us have asked people to help in some capacity and there were times when that person messed up and 0o my gosh sometimes we were the person who messed up!
You know crap happens and you just have to figure out if this was an anomaly , if this is par for the course with this person and you should not asked him in the first place or you just know they’re not reliable and you don’t ask them again this is not a world ending event.