Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg who cares? Get over yourself.

+1. I have a very popular name (now) although it wasn't popular at all while growing up. People always mispronounce, misspell... it's no big deal. I just laugh it off when someone realizes it.
People also like to shorten my name, give me nicknames - I see the positive in it. That they find me approachable enough to do so. I've noticed on DCUM that people get upset over this, too.

There are so many other things to get worked up over.

It's overly intimate and seriously presumptuous.

Agreed.

My name is Veronica and I’ve never shortened it. A very clear sign that you don’t know me snd you’ve never talked to me is if you call me Ronnie.

I had a client with a slightly unusual spelling to their name (double vowel where typically that name would have a single vowel) and they highlighted that part of their name in their email signature in bold, red letters. Their signature looked a little funny and to me seemed a bit passive aggressive, but you did notice it.

But OP, seems like you have many other layers of self-worth stuff to explore and address that perhaps would make this name thing a little less dramatic for you. And/or nice trolling work.

I moved to a new area and had a neighbor with a name I hadn't run across previously - not an unusual name but I hadn't known anyone with that name. It is a double barrel name and I'm not from the South so it's new-ish to me.

At any rate, she patiently corrected me a couple times when I tried to go with the first part of her name. Like, I called her Mary when her name was Mary Sue. Honestly, I thought "Mary Sue" was her first and last name. Yeah, I was dumb.

That was a couple of years ago and I obviously I've managed to get it right since then.

I prioritize corrections. I would want my office to get it right. I might choose to mention it at a large meeting where you need to introduce yourself anyways. "I'm Sarah...with the h on the end" or whatever.

I do not care about the pediatrician or the school librarian.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the name?

I would just correct people with a smile. “Actually I go by Elizabeth not Beth.”

Not really wanting to out myself, but it literally is very boring and easy to spell (and pronounce!)

If it is common name, you will not be outing yourself...unless you are THAT Allison I know from the office,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a double name and people at my job that I have had for almost a year just call me by my first name. I sign everything with the double name. My legal name is just the first name so I go by the first and middle. Official email address is first name, middle initial, last name. No one can seem to get it, and even people who used to call me both names have changed to the first. I have given up. People are a mess after this pandemic and they are just in survival mode. It's not about me (or you). Hope that helps!

In your case, I think you need to change your email at work. You just go by a double name. Double barrel names actually are legally the first name "Molly Anne" and then they have a separate middle name "Molly Anne Sarah Smith".

I work with someone who has a name like yours and she has it in her signature what she wants to be called.

I have it in my signature. It is pretty common to have first and middle legally and go by both, especially if you are from the South.

I hear what you're saying but a lot of workplaces only use the legal first name. I had friends who fixed this when they changed their maiden names to their married last names because it was confusing. Mary Katherine Smith became first name: "Mary Katherine" middle name: Smith and then last name: Jones.

We named my dd and then everyone has called her by her first and middle name her whole life. It's cute and I wish I had legally given her a double barreled name. She gets tired of correcting people.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I sympathize. My sister has an "ethnic" (albeit white person) name and it drives her bonkers when people seemingly intentionally spell it wrong. It's literally right there in the email address. I have a boring white person name and I also get really twitchy when people give me a nickname I didn't ask for. I've had to learn to make a little bit of a joke out of it -- "Hey can you not call me Lizzie? I don't realize you're talking to me since I've never used that nickname." -- but it's very frustrating. Why can't people use the name you advertise?

I work for a federal agency and they will only use your legal name in the email, like Frederick Smith. It's so frustrating and people get really upset when you don't know whether they want to be Fred or Rick or even know that they go by their middle name. I think my work could fix these issues by making emails what people want to be called. Fred.Smith@.gov instead of making us guess. Sure people put it in their signatures, but when I'm emailing someone with a longer first name that often nicknamed, I don't know what to put- Jenn or Jennifer? Does Charles actually go by Charles? Is it really James or Jim? It's even harder when people go by an unrelated name or their middle name.

And then when I email James, who I think goes by Jim, and he doesn't correct me- should I just keep calling him James forever?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a double name and people at my job that I have had for almost a year just call me by my first name. I sign everything with the double name. My legal name is just the first name so I go by the first and middle. Official email address is first name, middle initial, last name. No one can seem to get it, and even people who used to call me both names have changed to the first. I have given up. People are a mess after this pandemic and they are just in survival mode. It's not about me (or you). Hope that helps!

In your case, I think you need to change your email at work. You just go by a double name. Double barrel names actually are legally the first name "Molly Anne" and then they have a separate middle name "Molly Anne Sarah Smith".

I work with someone who has a name like yours and she has it in her signature what she wants to be called.

I have it in my signature. It is pretty common to have first and middle legally and go by both, especially if you are from the South.

I have a name that could be an object with a certain spelling or a name with a specific different spelling. People sometimes (not often) spell my name as if I were an object, not a person. When that happens, I feel very vaguely annoyed - like just in the back of my mind - and assume somewhat negative things about their IQ. Then, I move on.

OP, you have bigger problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I find it interesting how the tone of this thread changed when I said I was white.

It is because you have never been discriminated against and cannot know what that’s like.

IOW, you are not a victim, which is contrary to what your thread title implied.

Wait, so it's not ok to do this to a minority, but it's ok to do to OP?

OP, I sympathize. My sister has an "ethnic" (albeit white person) name and it drives her bonkers when people seemingly intentionally spell it wrong. It's literally right there in the email address. I have a boring white person name and I also get really twitchy when people give me a nickname I didn't ask for. I've had to learn to make a little bit of a joke out of it -- "Hey can you not call me Lizzie? I don't realize you're talking to me since I've never used that nickname." -- but it's very frustrating. Why can't people use the name you advertise?

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I find it interesting how the tone of this thread changed when I said I was white.

It is because you have never been discriminated against and cannot know what that’s like.

IOW, you are not a victim, which is contrary to what your thread title implied.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I find it interesting how the tone of this thread changed when I said I was white.

Nope, it’s DCUM, threads usually turn against the OP.
I can see why you might be annoyed, OP, but I think your annoyance takes it to a completely ridiculous level. People are careless. Annoying? Yes. Some sort of personal slight against you? No. Are they otherwise kind and respectful? If so, accept that people composing an email are more concerned about what they are writing, aren’t checking your signature block because they think they know how to spell it, and stop taking it so personally. Feel free to correct them every time. My cousin Jon just says as often as necessary that his name doesn’t have an H. My name has an “a” a consonant, then “o” and people get it wrong all the time. It is not a big deal!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. People constantly transpose two letters in my name, despite it being right there in front of their eyes in multiple places.

I do not correct people over email, that seems a bit more confrontational that needed. I do correct in person / on the phone with the first 1-2 offenses, but then I give up.

It bothers me every time. It definitely influenced what I named my kids.

Y'all need to have real problems in life.

OP here. I do have real problems, which is why I'd prefer if my colleagues wouldn't add emotional paper cuts to them.

Then it's time for therapy if this gets your goose.

You're clearly missing the entire point.

She described this problem as adding 'emotional paper cuts' to her problems. That's a little dramatic... or requiring therapy.

OP here. I'm very isolated and have struggled with being invisible for years...it's only gotten worse as I've entered middle age. I'm sure you can see how consistently being called the wrong name would add to that.