Need to be able for us to get to them or them to get to us quickly in case of emergency. Europe is out, west coast is out, mid-west places are ok if there are direct flights - same with East coast (U of Vermont seems difficult to get to, even though child wanted it as a safety school). Mental health issues involved, and trying to set young adult up for success, not failure

My kid set her own radius.

I just warned that if she went cross country, the travel expenses would be higher and could mean (for example) that she not come home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas (3 weeks apart).

My D’s limits are not radius but regions: Not states south to Maryland especially Texas, Florida, Missouri, Alabama, Georgia, and Arizona.

We didn’t set a limit. We have one in CA and one in Texas. Both near airports, and we see them several times a year. Finances are not an issue.

DD is sticking to schools on the east coast & a few schools in the midwest

We didn't set a radius, but considered ease of travel and travel costs. DD very much wanted to get away and didn't apply to any school within driving distance. She ended up 1500 miles away with cheap Southwest direct flights available.

DS is 2 hours away by car and we don't see him much more often than we saw DD. His preferred radius was within a six hour drive (he's a music student and plays an instrument that he cant take on a plane).

My own kids determined the radius. My DD was interested in CA schools so we visited while on a family trip. She drove into UCSB saying, "this, this is the place for me" and she drove out saying "I could never been this far from my friends and family".

The farthest my kids had targeted was Boston or New England, but I would have completely fine with whatever they decided. That being said, cost would have become a huge factor that needed to be considered.

We allowed anywhere. But we weren't going to visit far away colleges before acceptance. We're in the DMV. DD got into a school on the west coast. She then needed to visit. She wasn't helping to make it happen. Between team practices, busy w/school and friends senior year -- she decided on her own not to travel to see it. Therefore, decision made. She did ultimately choose a college in New England so several states away.

What felt ok for HER is what, ultimately, was important NOT what felt ok for US. Finding their path, their journey. Parents have got to let go.

Now, this is all assuming that there is not a hardship re: money, that this is not part of the equation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our job is to prepare our kids to leave no matter how much that hurts that’s our job.

Now back to reality.

Amtrak tickets, plane tickets, storage units, time off from work to move the kid in and out--all of that adds up for some folks.

yes, for some and not for others

False. The kid has to get there and back.

And multiple times a year, for roughly 4 years.

Plus there is the first week if a parent is going to help set up the room and then whole family out and back for graduation. It really does add up.

I guess I’m out of touch because I don’t know why a parent would need to stay a week and help “set up the room”??? Then again my parents drove me some 13 hours away, brought my stuff into my room with the help of some upperclassmen, took a quick tour of campus which none of us had ever seen before, and then said goodbye. I did my own unpacking.

My child has a mental illness and I need to be able to go visit him fairly frequently to make sure he’s okay. A two hr drive (4hrs RT) is all I want to do in one day.

My DD does not like to fly so she determined a radius of how far she was willing to drive. Her limit was 7 hours (only one school that far away) and most were 2-4. Closest was 2 hours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our job is to prepare our kids to leave no matter how much that hurts that’s our job.

Now back to reality.

Amtrak tickets, plane tickets, storage units, time off from work to move the kid in and out--all of that adds up for some folks.

yes, for some and not for others

False. The kid has to get there and back.

True. We have saved enough to cover any and all of the added expenses for anywhere in the world kid wants to go to college. We hope they go far. There and back.

Great. Good for you.

PP you are oddly triggered by this convo..,…

Anonymous wrote:My child wants the radius, because he’s close to his siblings and wants to be able to come home for family events now and then. We live in a region full of great options so we’re all happy.

Same here.

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Anonymous wrote:I won't let my child go to school closer than 60 miles from our house - he needs to be at least that far away.

I haven't limited him, but we have steered him gently towards places that are, at most, a short, direct plane flight away.

Who knows where he will end up - but I hope he stay son the East Coast.

Really strange. So the kid can’t go to Johns Hopkins which is only 47 miles away from DC?

+1 Also, if the goal is to make them feel “stranded” (which is beneficial in a lot of ways because it teaches self-reliance), that will happen anywhere that they don’t have a car or long-course public transportation access.

Going to school in Baltimore vs a college in the middle of nowhere that the town is basically the college could actually instill more independence.

For kids that were raised taking Metro and navigating the city on their own early on, they are already more street smart and independent than some kids graduating from college who have never been in the “real world”.

Anonymous wrote:For those who have a certain distance within which you will permit your kid to attend college….. what is your thinking? If your child applies to school across the country would you see that as fleeing the homestead, abandonment?… would you even permit the application? Or did you let your kid apply freely anywhere ? If so what is your thinking as well? I feel like there are two kinds of parents on this thread. The ones who will let their kids go absolutely anywhere. And those who have communicated a radius.

For us the radius was set by our DC. We tried to get them to go a bit further.