Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boys have it easy. Very laid back recruitment. Girls are a whole different world.

I wouldn’t call death from alcohol poisoning “easy.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP. My God, this all sounds exhausting and traumatizing. Do these kids ever study?? What an awful process.

They keep a "file" of old exams. What they don't tell you is those exams are all "F"s with the occasional "D". Plus you get fined if you have to study a miss a party. They also don't tell you the girl selling you her high GPA is an Art History major (and they hide the huge percentage of these) trying to land a rich guy like it is the 80s.

Anonymous wrote:The boys have it easy. Very laid back recruitment. Girls are a whole different world.

Anonymous wrote:
NP. My God, this all sounds exhausting and traumatizing. Do these kids ever study?? What an awful process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general. Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts.

Kind of.

Most schools don’t have any dry frats, so there’s that. But guys can get multiple bids and choose which one to accept.

And I’d like to add that after the rollercoaster of rejection and lasting emotional trauma that they call rush, if your daughter is lucky enough to end up in a sorority, no, the girls aren’t all friends. There’s a base level of niceties, and an expected facade to maintain that is upheld to woo the next pledge class, but cliques run deep, and the sorting hat isn’t left at the door. A social pecking order exists within each sorority itself, and it’s a constant competition to get a big to choose you, to run for exec positions, to get a little to chose you, it goes on and on and on. Some girls drop by junior year. A lot are over it by senior year and more drop. Some hang in there but just stop going to a lot of stuff.

NP. My God, this all sounds exhausting and traumatizing. Do these kids ever study?? What an awful process.

Anonymous wrote:Well I just don’t see how it’s the schools “fault”. They lowered quotas so that They could populate a new house and the girls did not want that. Well that happens everywhere. There’s a bottom house at every school and no one is guaranteed a bid from anything higher.

Anonymous wrote:I so admire the kids who choose not to rush at all and make their friends the old-fashioned way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For large Southern universities, your daughter will need a letter of recommendation from a member of each sorority. These she can get by talking to friends and colleagues of you and your family. There are also regional groups for sorority members who have graduated so she can reach out to them for a rec if she doesn’t have any connection with that particular sorority.

The location of the school doesn't determine where recommendations are needed. That is decided by the "governing" board of the national sorority. Fortunately, that policy is changing, as sororities recognize that not everyone knows someone who was in every (if any) sorority. Mine now asks for a recommendation from someone who knows the individual personally. Could be a coach, a teacher, etc. That policy applies to every chapter across the country.

Recs are a joke. Legacy matters a lot but lots of triple legacies still don’t get a bid from their mom’s house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general. Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts.

Kind of.

Most schools don’t have any dry frats, so there’s that. But guys can get multiple bids and choose which one to accept.

And I’d like to add that after the rollercoaster of rejection and lasting emotional trauma that they call rush, if your daughter is lucky enough to end up in a sorority, no, the girls aren’t all friends. There’s a base level of niceties, and an expected facade to maintain that is upheld to woo the next pledge class, but cliques run deep, and the sorting hat isn’t left at the door. A social pecking order exists within each sorority itself, and it’s a constant competition to get a big to choose you, to run for exec positions, to get a little to chose you, it goes on and on and on. Some girls drop by junior year. A lot are over it by senior year and more drop. Some hang in there but just stop going to a lot of stuff.

Anonymous wrote:What I had not realized was at least at our DS’s school, after rushing and selecting a frat, there is a pledge period (I think 4-8 weeks) where they do challenges and get to know everyone before becoming full members. It’s a big time commitment.

Anonymous wrote:Well I certainly don’t know this specific situation but I’m sitting here thinking these girls could literally join the new house and make it their own, but they decided it was not good enough for them.