Anonymous
Post 03/13/2022 13:03     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of the misconception comes from the fact people don't realize sororities can't and don't really throw parties. The fraternities do. And also, sororities and fraternities have social partnerships with certain houses, often stretching back years, if not decades. The boys and girls both want to maintain a level of respect with each other and not fall out of favor. Getting a bad reputation with a high-status sorority means the pretty girls in it will stop hanging out with you, and everyone will know why. So it's not like the boys have all the power and it's retrograde a-holes ordering around "sweethearts." If anything, the other way around with ball breaking rich sorority girls who think their sh*t doesn't stink ordering around boys. Any "sweetheart" situation is likely freshmen from a house you are on long-term good terms with, maybe the girls are dating someone in that fraternity, maybe they're not. It's really not as dramatic as dorks on here make it sound.


It's friends, girls and boys, helping each other with events and recruitment, to throw well choreographed events, keep the traditions alive and membership levels high. If nobody gave a sh*t and everyone acted too cool for school, the events would suck, recruitment would suffer, and chapters would die. Just like any student org.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2022 12:59     Subject: Frat sweetheart
I think a lot of the misconception comes from the fact people don't realize sororities can't and don't really throw parties. The fraternities do. And also, sororities and fraternities have social partnerships with certain houses, often stretching back years, if not decades. The boys and girls both want to maintain a level of respect with each other and not fall out of favor. Getting a bad reputation with a high-status sorority means the pretty girls in it will stop hanging out with you, and everyone will know why. So it's not like the boys have all the power and it's retrograde a-holes ordering around "sweethearts." If anything, the other way around with ball breaking rich sorority girls who think their sh*t doesn't stink ordering around boys. Any "sweetheart" situation is likely freshmen from a house you are on long-term good terms with, maybe the girls are dating someone in that fraternity, maybe they're not. It's really not as dramatic as dorks on here make it sound.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2022 12:58     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:I was a “little sister” at a frat. And I wasn’t in a sorority. But “my big brother” literally was like my big brother. And I never dated him or anyone else at his frat. I think I reminded him of his real little sister. I could go to his frat to study, go to parties/dance, drink and hang out. And while at Tim’s frat/house, nothing ever happened to me. Never hassled, touched, followed, etc because all the guys knew I was Tim’s little sister. And there were some frats at my big 10 school, I would cross the street to stay far away from even in broad daylight.


What kind of Stockholm Syndrome + Madonna/whore trope mash up is this?
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2022 12:53     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Is "frat sweetheart" synonymous with "frat rat"?
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2022 12:47     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:I was a “little sister” at a frat. And I wasn’t in a sorority. But “my big brother” literally was like my big brother. And I never dated him or anyone else at his frat. I think I reminded him of his real little sister. I could go to his frat to study, go to parties/dance, drink and hang out. And while at Tim’s frat/house, nothing ever happened to me. Never hassled, touched, followed, etc because all the guys knew I was Tim’s little sister. And there were some frats at my big 10 school, I would cross the street to stay far away from even in broad daylight.


Imagine guys who don't harass women. Not just certain connected women, but any women.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2022 12:47     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When I was in school the “sweetheart” was always a long term girlfriend of a member.


Not at HYPSM - the girl "chosen" was not respected at all.


Well not at my highly ranked non Ivy private. I was not a frat sweetheart but the girls that were chosen were highly respected. And did not sleep around.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2022 11:36     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My daughter is friends with a frat sweetheart. All of the candidates were long term girlfriends of one of the frat brothers. These girls are at every event, are friends with all the guys, and serve more of a motherly role in their frat experience than you are imagining.


OP here and this is what about what I was imagining. Baking cookies and bringing them food, helping plan their events, decorating. Things that an 18-22 year old should not be doing for men unless she’s getting paid to do it. Horrible.


What part about they’re literally friends with these guys, do you not understand? I wouldn’t want to do those things for a random group of guys if asked/expected, but those are exactly the things I enjoy doing for my friends.


DCUM is clear that there are some alternative lifestyles that are intolerable.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 21:43     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:OP, is your DD dating one of them?


No, my DD is in a sorority but not dating anyone that I know of. She mentioned that someone in her friend group is trying to become a frat sweetheart, explained this girl brings the frat brownies and cookies and painted a beer pong table for them. Not being part of Greek life myself I’ve never heard of this and it seemed kind of pathetic TBH but I didn’t want to insult my DD’s friend so I didn’t say anything. I was hoping it might be a “position” that comes with some kind of benefits or compensation somehow, but it really just is being the ultimate pick me girl.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 21:25     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:When I was in school the “sweetheart” was always a long term girlfriend of a member.


Not at HYPSM - the girl "chosen" was not respected at all.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 21:25     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:NP. God, this all sounds so incredibly vapid and dumb. I'm sorry, but it just does. Who comes up with these idiotic traditions?


+1

Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 21:11     Subject: Frat sweetheart
When I was in school the “sweetheart” was always a long term girlfriend of a member.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 21:10     Subject: Frat sweetheart
NP. God, this all sounds so incredibly vapid and dumb. I'm sorry, but it just does. Who comes up with these idiotic traditions?
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 20:52     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My VA sorority had two Big Brothers: one was a LT BF of one of the sisters and the other guy just a regular at our parties. Both from different fraternities.

They attended lots of our events but we got into trouble with our Natl HQ when it was discovered that sometimes they’d come to our chapter mtgs. These guys also appeared on our composite photo and were painted as Big Brothers.

Our natl org made it clear that we were not to have Big Bros - especially since our charter stated that our organization was only for women. This was in the early 90s.

My older and wiser, real older brother cautioned me when I was going away to college to NEVER become a “little sister” and to do so would be dangerous - he knew all about horrific predatory behavior of fraternity brothers and the terrible way the little sisters were treated and abused.

Yes, you were a pass around and/or a party girl who’d get high and drunk with the brothers and/or just a groupie. Sigma Phi Epsilon had Golden Hearts and they were derisively called “Golden Boxes.”

Another fraternity called the little sisters something like Star Dusters (we called them Dust Busters). Sometimes, such an “honor” was a beauty contest, but often, not in the least.


Why would anyone not required to go to a chapter meeting ever go to a chapter meeting??


+1

I kind of shows that the girl's life IS the frat, which is sad.


Well, no, it kind of doesn't. The chapter meeting post was about men going to sorority meetings. Which is very sad and weird, yes.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 20:50     Subject: Re:Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, sounds like it varies. My experience was, my sorority sister became sweetheart of a fraternity. Her boyfriend was in that fraternity. The brothers came to the sorority house and sang her a song. It was sweet. As far as I know, the title of sweetheart didn't convey any responsibilities or anything. The fraternity brothers held her in esteem, like they would have her back if she had any trouble.


Yes, that is the "image".


Just go ahead and admit you were never in greek life. The above is all it is. There is absolutely nothing sexual about a fraternity sweetheart, no matter how much you want to demonize it. It’s always one of the guys girlfriends and the girl is treated with genuine respect.


It depends on the frat/people involved/location. Clearly your experience does not represent all experiences. I have a big enough sample that I am confident in my opinion.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2022 20:48     Subject: Frat sweetheart
Anonymous wrote:Glad you asked OP! And since you asked, no one takes them seriously. They are invited to the frat events, usually reunions each 10 years or so. The guys sing a song to them, and the wives roll their eyes (to themselves) and sometimes just leave the room to speak amongst themselves.

There are less nice names for them that I will not repeat here - they were women who hung out and spent too much time at the frat house. Maybe a step above the women who joined sororities, but that is not saying much.


Most fraternity sweethearts are in sororities.