Parents gave me $25k. Would do the same perhaps adjusted for the number of years

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Anonymous wrote:We are spending $120K this year for approx 60 people, mid-30s couple. We are paying 100%. It is approx. 15% of our HHI and 2% of our net worth.

Is the "we" who are paying 100% the couple getting married? Or parents of one half of the couple?

That is $2K per guest. I can't imagine a party that lavish. Does everyone have their own butler?

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Anonymous wrote:How much money are you willing to spend on your children’s weddings?

I had a big wedding with all the trimmings and it cost my parents $10,000. So, $10,000 for a dress worn only once, a 5-hour party--mainly friends of parents--what a total waste of money! I have told all three children, two sons and one daughter, that big weddings are ridiculous and to use that money to save to buy a house. I will give each $10,000 and if they are smart they will have a tiny wedding and save for good down payment for a house. We are paying for their bachelor's degree but graduate degrees they are responsible.

Hopefully for your kids sake you’re more realistic about today’s college costs than you are about weddings

We paid for their BA/BS degrees and it was a lot more than $10,000. The $10,000 will be their wedding gift and if they are fools then they can spend it on a 5-,hour party. In any case, the bride's parents can pay for weddings to my sons. For my daughter, she gets the same $10,000 to spend as she wishes. On the other hand, I would mortgage the house for a serious medical condiion. Big weddings are riduculous unless you're British royalty.

WHAT? WHY WOULD BRIDE’S PRENTS PAY FOR THE WEDDINGS?

Traditionally, in this country, the bride, or her parents, pay for wedding. Groom's parents pay for dinner night before wedding. In this day and age when couples are much older and have been working for years, plus living together, they should pay for their own wedding.

Traditionally? That dates back to when the brides had dowries and didn't work. We are in 2022, when women are in the workforce, are college educated and on equal footing as the husband. The wedding should be split between bride and groom and their families. Obviously if one family has saved up for it, or is considerably more wealthy, it would make sense for them to put in more of a contribution. But this general line of "the bride's family pays" is BS.

We got married last fall and it was about 100k all in. My wife’s parents paid for the entire wedding day, my parents paid for the grooms dinner (15k) and I paid for the rings and honeymoon.

We have a large friend and social circle so that’s really what made the costs creep up. Do any of us regret it, absolutely not! We make our own money and can pay for our own home. I did not want any handouts for a home. If my ILs wanted to pay for a beautiful wedding we weren’t going to say no. It was an amazing day for both sides of the family and I would never trade it for 100k in cash.

We paid around $90k 3 years ago. It was lovely and fun, and DD got the wedding she wanted. It was not a financial stretch for us.

Anonymous wrote:25K, that's what we took out of the bank for DD recently. 90 people Sat. night Dinner/DJ. in the NE. There were other expenses along the way but paid out of pocket and didn't particularly feel them.

NE USA in a low cola area? I don't see how a Saturday night plated dinner would be 25k in NE DC or the DC area after adding in small local businesses: photographer, florist, dress + seamstress, music. That could be about 10k.

A family member is getting married and it's all small local businesses in the DC area except for a hotel that has a courtesy block.

Biggest thing to reduce is the guest list. That is where you get stuck on smaller weddings like the 90 person which could have 10-15 extended family not relevant to the couple. In our experience extended family like aunts, uncles etc don't offer to pay for anything. Rather some ask about more relatives and events for themselves.

My parents spent $5K on my very lovely wedding. This was in '97. I'm not from a large, urban area so that helped with the cost.

I have no idea what we will spend, luckily I have a few more years before this happens. We won't pay for an extravagant wedding, if they want over-the-top, then they can figure out how to pay for it.

Anonymous wrote:We are spending $120K this year for approx 60 people, mid-30s couple. We are paying 100%. It is approx. 15% of our HHI and 2% of our net worth.

Is the "we" who are paying 100% the couple getting married? Or parents of one half of the couple?

We are spending $120K this year for approx 60 people, mid-30s couple. We are paying 100%. It is approx. 15% of our HHI and 2% of our net worth.

Anonymous wrote:I’d say 45-60k range would be “typical”. How you split that up depends entirely on your family dynamic. How much can bride and groom cover? Are there aunts or extended families that want to cover specific items like the dress or flowers? Etc

Is that really a thing in "typical American culture?" I can't imagine my family doing this (My family background is mostly Irish Catholic that has been in the US for over 100 years.)

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Anonymous wrote:How much money are you willing to spend on your children’s weddings?

I had a big wedding with all the trimmings and it cost my parents $10,000. So, $10,000 for a dress worn only once, a 5-hour party--mainly friends of parents--what a total waste of money! I have told all three children, two sons and one daughter, that big weddings are ridiculous and to use that money to save to buy a house. I will give each $10,000 and if they are smart they will have a tiny wedding and save for good down payment for a house. We are paying for their bachelor's degree but graduate degrees they are responsible.

You got $10k way back when that paid for a big wedding and you’re giving each kid $10k in today’s dollars? Yikes!

Same thought here. I don't know when or where that pp got married, but in DC or any major city, $10,000 will definitely not get you a "big wedding with all the trimmings." 15 years ago in southern CA my SIL spent $10,000 just on her dress and veil!

Your SIL is a fool.

Well, she and my brother ended up getting divorced less than two years later so...