My kids started doing it in 7th or 8th grade, but now that they are in late HS we've taken it over again. This is happening partly because they don't pack the healthiest lunches and we want them to have good nutrition during the day, but also because since returning to school in person after Covid, we value slow time with them more and it makes things more relaxed in the mornings. Soon they'll be off to college and I suspect we won't regret the time we spent giving them nutritious food or having fun talking with them or doing the Wordle together vs. them scrambling around packing their lunches each morning.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the helpful comments.

I’m beginning to think it’s time for our 7th grader to take this chore on. Seventh grader is asserting independence in other ways, so why not this way?

Plus, honestly, I’m tired of having to do it.

Work with child to come up with a list of things to stock. Let child know they can pack it on their own so that they can decide what to eat that day. Let child know that if they are on a rare time crunch you would be glad to give them a hand.

DH and/or I will pack all the lunches - 1st, 5th and 7th. Food is one of the things that I take care of becuase we want to make sure that they have healthy food. It's mainly cut fruits and veg for snacks which we slice in the morning. Cucumbers/carrots with reheated dinner in thermos (usually stews, pastas, etc) for each kid.

My 1st and 5th grader aren't handling that. The 7th likely could but since we're doing all of them at the same time why bother?

Kids have other chores - folding laundry, vacuum, cleaning dishes, putting up groceries, etc. so we can handle the lunches.

I've seen some of the lunches/snacks that kids pack at school, and I don't want my kids like that.

My kids have always bought lunch, but they pack their own healthy snack for elementary school always. Usually a fruit or veggie and cheese and crackers. In middle school, my older son buys but brings some extra snacks bc the school lunch isn't enough for him. I don't really know what he packs.

5th. They are in the middle school now. They pack the night before.

first.

3rd grade — in part because our school started giving breakfast & lunches out free, so I've gone with the "if you want something else you'll have to pack it yourself" route.

Don't all schools provide breakfast and lunch now? What are you packing?

And no, I have never given my kids hot leftovers for lunch. That's like warming bottles for babies- get them used to drinking it cold!

I have been packing everyone's lunches for many years. Mine, DH, grown up kids, even guests who stay with us and want to visit DC.

The thing is that I pack really wonderful lunches. Packing meals in a lunch box means that you are very limited in what you can make, so the challenge for me is to not resort to slapping a sandwich together, but rather how to transform wonderful meals in a way that it can be packed in a lunch box.

No one in my home has any chores. I have never asked my kids or DH to do them. However, automatically my family has taken over certain chores. By and large, my kids have become used to living a certain way and they will replicate it themselves when they have their own home. Just like I did not lift a finger when I was young but became a very houseproud mom and wife when I got my own house.

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all.

HS and still doesn't. She can. She knows how to do so. But, between studying and sports, and yes time with peers, she's busy. We don't mind doing it and I'd rather her spend the time on those other things.

FWIW, my mother always made me my lunch. All through HS. I'm a functioning adult and that little act of help in no way hindered my development into adulthood.

I still pack my middle schoolers lunch. She is not a morning person and likes something heated up in a thermos so doing it the night before is not an option.

My mom loves to wear this badge of "my kids packed their lunch starting in the first grade," but I always remember being hungry and not having good things to eat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Probably never. I never did until I was in college. My father found it easier to just prepare everything himself in the morning. I never had chores either. And yet, as soon as I was on my own, I never had any trouble doing everything myself, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. It's laughable how people on DCUM fall all over themselves trying to have the youngest kids doing chores and being independent, when it really doesn't make any difference in the end when they're adults.

Hah, same here. I never really had any chores except for helping dry the pots and pans after dinner. I am fully capable of getting everything done now and had no problem transitioning into adulthood. My husband, on the other hand, had a ton of chores and he is terrible when it comes to responsibility around the house. My kids are in 5th and 3rd and I still pack their lunches.

I can join this camp, but I will critique adding that I can't say it didn't impca me in ohter ways, e.g self-confidence.

Quoting myself- clearly not making my lunch daily as a child wouldn't have resulted in terrible depression or anything, but what I mean is that - at least from the parental perspective- there are advantages to a child knowing in micro-ways that "I can do it myself." See Montessori's popularity. And I DID have low confidence as a child and in some ways now, and although a number of things were involved in this that are larger than packing a lunch, you have to wonder.

Same. My parents found it easier to do everything, and we do everything for our kids too. I feel like they are busy enough. That said, they are pretty inhibited in a lot of ways. Might it have helped if we fostered more independence somehow? I don’t know. But I’m very happy with them as is, and if it resulted in greater family friction, it wouldn’t have been worth it.

Ours kids made their lunches night before so there aren’t dramas or scrambling in the morning. High schooler now does it in morning without issue.

They did as needed by early elementary but usually I did it right through high school because I knew what I bought, what needed to be used up, what was being saved for another reason, etc. It was just easier to make their 3 lunches when I made my own. Often someone was in the kitchen with me and helped. If they want an extra item or something special then they add it themselves.

Anonymous wrote:What are they putting in their lunches typically? I’m standing there in the morning with a kettle to heat water to heat the the thermoses for hot leftovers that I’m simultaneously reheating in the microwave. Like are your 7th graders doing that in the morning while rolling out of bed, eating, packing backpack, brushing…things, etc etc?

One of my kids did the same sandwich (seed butter and jelly between two whole grain waffles), chocolate milk, a fruit (applesauce, canned oranges, banana, cuties), veggie (frozen peas for a long time, then carrots and hummus became his favorite), and a baked good (muffin, baked oatmeal, whatever we had made).

My other one would vary it, a sandwich and yogurt or cheese sticks, hard boiled egg with cheese and crackers, chicken legs and a mini bagel with cream cheese, always plus a fruit and veggie and a baked good. He's older and so puberty made him starving and then he'd up the calories. So, maybe 2 muffins instead of one or a full sized bagel. And the veggie might be carrots and a small pack of guacamole or hummus, so the meal was more filling.

I never bothered with hot food for them when I packed. They never complained or asked me to.