My elderly, widowed, skinny mom doesn’t understand the need to have a fully stocked refrigerator: not in her house and certainly not in my house with a family of 5. She was a SAHM of 4.

We are doing a modest renovation in our small kitchen and will finally add some much-needed pantry and storage space. My mom is obsessed with and fixated upon what exactly we will store in this new space - she has a lovely walk in pantry that is carefully arranged with just a few food items on each shelf.
She truly can’t understand how much (and how well) we eat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

There probably just isn’t a ton of food in the fridge honestly. My IL’s go out for a lot of meals and mostly have condiments and their own leftovers in the fridge. We bring a lot of our own food when we visit. Learned that one the hard way a few years ago.

Same. My in laws never keep much in the fridge or cabinets and are weird about the kitchen so I just keep a lot of snacks for the kids and their water bottles in my bag/the car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

LOL. I was never allowed to make food or gets snacks in my house growing up. Ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

There probably just isn’t a ton of food in the fridge honestly. My IL’s go out for a lot of meals and mostly have condiments and their own leftovers in the fridge. We bring a lot of our own food when we visit. Learned that one the hard way a few years ago.

My dad had gotten weird about food as he’s gotten older. Last time we visited, we all went to a late afternoon cocktail party (people in my parents’ town loooove to throw cocktail parties), and my dad decided that the appetizers we’d had there were a sufficient stand-in for dinner.

Or he’ll decide that he isn’t very hungry for lunch and will just have a little fruit and cheese, and therefore the rest of us should as well. Or, someone will have a small snack in the afternoon, so he’ll decide that dinner now must get pushed back by a few hours.

Happily, my mother is still normal about food and just overrules him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

First, there may not be anything to eat in that fridge

Second, there are MILs who make a point of declaring that the kitchen is closed. So yes, you can go in there and help yourself, but there will be an argument as a result. I'm willing to deal with the argument, but it sucks

Yeah, for some reason, many women as they grow older and eat less, whether due to decreased appetite or dieting for weight or health, forget that other people, especially younger adults and teens eat a lot more. And due to their own food anxieties, whether it is cost, time invested in shopping, prepping, cooking or just weight/health concerns, they find that people who eat differently than them are making bad choices or condemning them for their diet.

The best thread on this feeding anxiety, was not about in-laws per se, but a mother who said she was having trouble keeping her family (two adults, two teen boy athletes, an 8 year old and a 3 year old) fed. She was surprised that one package of 10 drumsticks or one rack of ribs wasn't enough to feed her family.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/465595.page#6825369

And one respondent hit it on the head with one of my favorite DCUM quotes:

It seems like you are feeding your family like a family of dieting middle age women rather than a family of an adult male and two teen athletes plus 2 other children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My 70+ parents eat like birds, and only steamed veggies and lean protein. However, when the grandkids come, they stock up on cookies and hot dogs and all the kids' favorites. My mother does have a problem with food, and she used to make the most terrible comments about DD and I being fat and eating too much, but with age, she's mellowed a lot.

Were the comments true?

In my observation lots of young people [/i]are[i] fat and eat too much

This is not relevant. The grandmother is a rude POS

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since we are talking about eating practices in families,

Does anyone in your family eat half a banana or does everyone eat a whole one? In my family, we always had a half a banana unless the bananas were small. My BIL and DH say that the only people they know who eat half a banana are my sister, our Dad and me. For my family, it is usually put on cereal.

So, are you a half a banana family or a whole one?

If I'm putting one on oatmeal, I usually eat half. But if I'm just having a banana as a snack, I eat the whole banana.

I usually give my kids only 1/2 of a big banana because otherwise it constipates them. Found this out through much trial and error. If it's a small banana they can have the whole thing without a problem.

Yeah I usually split a giant one between my two toddlers for this reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since we are talking about eating practices in families,

Does anyone in your family eat half a banana or does everyone eat a whole one? In my family, we always had a half a banana unless the bananas were small. My BIL and DH say that the only people they know who eat half a banana are my sister, our Dad and me. For my family, it is usually put on cereal.

So, are you a half a banana family or a whole one?

If I'm putting one on oatmeal, I usually eat half. But if I'm just having a banana as a snack, I eat the whole banana.

I usually give my kids only 1/2 of a big banana because otherwise it constipates them. Found this out through much trial and error. If it's a small banana they can have the whole thing without a problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My 70+ parents eat like birds, and only steamed veggies and lean protein. However, when the grandkids come, they stock up on cookies and hot dogs and all the kids' favorites. My mother does have a problem with food, and she used to make the most terrible comments about DD and I being fat and eating too much, but with age, she's mellowed a lot.

Were the comments true?

In my observation lots of young people [/i]are[i] fat and eat too much

My MIL talks like this and my children and I are all on the low end of the healthy BMI and have low body fat. They also
eat what is a healthy amount given their high activity level. Their aunt on my side of the family is a dietician who works with professional athletes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

Anonymous wrote:Lol what did she serve with the hot dogs? Any sides?

One bag of chips which she clipped back up, put in another bag, and told us was being saved for tomorrow.