No tradition. Some years we do something, some years we do nothing. Nothing this year.

I give them $100 each. They can spend it or save it.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. My son's birthday was this weekend. That means there were alot of sugar and presents already. So nothing.

Same. We don’t do anything more.

we celebrate by eating chocolate

Ya'll are nice parents. I think the notes and the little things are as great as the ones who went all out and are doing steak dinners.

It's our grandsons birthday so we will have his favorite take out and cake today for him but my husband gets our daughters flowers and a gift card.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

This. And your recollection of men in the store buying items is ridiculous. The men weren't scared. The men weren't nervous or anxious. They were simply doing a task that is, sure, expected of them, but no more so for a birthday. If this type of sight disgusts you, you should probably relax a little more.

Cringe. Why is this particular task expected of them? Soooo messed up. This is a task, an expectation, something that is forced upon them, and they are doing it reluctantly or without any thought. Here is an idea, maybe let the man show his appreciation how and when he wants to show it! Maybe it means that once a year he clears the snow on top of your car because he wants to make things easier for you. That is more romantic than buying that cheapie box of chocolates on VD.

If you don't want to participate in a cultural holiday, then simply don't. I don't get why this is an issue. It's not forced upon anyone.

In whatever country I'm living, I love participating in their cultural practices. I don't have to "believe" in it or even fully understand it. It's just a bit of fun. Valentine's Day can be simple and sweet in a typically cold and boring time of year. Why ask why do you do that? Instead ask, why not?

PP, my spouse, who grew up in another country, is just like you, both about Valentine's Day and Christmas. I happen to have grown up here, though my parents also don't celebrate these holidays so I get where you/he are coming from. It does feel like just a holiday to spend money but I'm pretty indifferent about it (you don't seem indifferent from your post). However, my kids (girls) love it, and they are only young/tweens for so long, so I do something small. I made heart shaped pancakes, and put a card and brownie in their lunch. I'm also making a favorite dinner (and honestly, I would have made it this week anyways on Friday had it not been for V-Day). That's it, but they always smile at it and thank me and give me huge hugs. I have saved all the valentine's day cards they have made me over the years also.

You can enjoy a holiday without spending money.

Anonymous wrote:She is getting a little bag with a Valentines card, rose water spray from Trader Joe’s, a pink heart candle and a purple heart bath bomb.

I forgot to mention the fuzzy socks with hearts on them. That too.

You can make this a fun non-commercial holiday.

We did home baked sweets, and I may make a few quick signs to hang up around the living room.

Like a PP said, winter can be so dreary. It’s nice to have something to break up the monotony.

Some people need to lighten up. Valentine’s Day is fun because it’s nice to recognize the loved ones in our lives. DH started making heart shaped pizza when our DD was young and we’ve continued that tradition through the years. DD is now 16. We do cards and small gifts as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

This. And your recollection of men in the store buying items is ridiculous. The men weren't scared. The men weren't nervous or anxious. They were simply doing a task that is, sure, expected of them, but no more so for a birthday. If this type of sight disgusts you, you should probably relax a little more.

Cringe. Why is this particular task expected of them? Soooo messed up. This is a task, an expectation, something that is forced upon them, and they are doing it reluctantly or without any thought. Here is an idea, maybe let the man show his appreciation how and when he wants to show it! Maybe it means that once a year he clears the snow on top of your car because he wants to make things easier for you. That is more romantic than buying that cheapie box of chocolates on VD.

If you don't want to participate in a cultural holiday, then simply don't. I don't get why this is an issue. It's not forced upon anyone.

In whatever country I'm living, I love participating in their cultural practices. I don't have to "believe" in it or even fully understand it. It's just a bit of fun. Valentine's Day can be simple and sweet in a typically cold and boring time of year. Why ask why do you do that? Instead ask, why not?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

Well, hopefully they will not go for shallow people. Gift giving is certainly a thing for us, but not on VD. We give on days worth celebrating from birthdays to anniversaries, weddings to graduation. And we certainly give gifts on more occasions and more generously than a made-up hallmark day.

What holiday is this? Who are we celebrating?

I know you think this is a big "gotcha" moment, but it is the Feast of St. Valentine, so we are celebrating St. Valentine. Do you have Google?

Anonymous wrote:There are many significant days to celebrate on Feb 14th. My favorite is "Clean Out Your Computer Day"

2022 Daily Holidays that fall on February 14, include:

Clean Out Your Computer Day - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
Frederick Douglass Day
International Book Giving Day
International Epilepsy Day - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
League of Women Voters Day
Library Lovers Day
Meal Monday - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
National Call in Single Day
National Condom Awareness Day
National Creme-Filled Chocolates Day
National Donor Day
National Ferris Wheel Day
National Have a Heart Day
National Pet Theft Awareness Day
National Women's Heart Day
Oatmeal Monday - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
Quirky Alone Day
Race Relations Day
Read to Your Child Day
Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) (some celebrate this on the 13th or 15th, to get away from the commercialization of Valentine's Day). Also known as Singles Appreciation Day
Statehood Day in Arizona - (Local Observance in Arizona)
Valentine's Day
World Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day
World Sound Healing Day

There seems to be a theme here - condoms, chocolates, singles, valentine...

There are many significant days to celebrate on Feb 14th. My favorite is "Clean Out Your Computer Day"

2022 Daily Holidays that fall on February 14, include:

Clean Out Your Computer Day - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
Frederick Douglass Day
International Book Giving Day
International Epilepsy Day - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
League of Women Voters Day
Library Lovers Day
Meal Monday - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
National Call in Single Day
National Condom Awareness Day
National Creme-Filled Chocolates Day
National Donor Day
National Ferris Wheel Day
National Have a Heart Day
National Pet Theft Awareness Day
National Women's Heart Day
Oatmeal Monday - February 14, 2022 (Second Monday in February)
Quirky Alone Day
Race Relations Day
Read to Your Child Day
Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) (some celebrate this on the 13th or 15th, to get away from the commercialization of Valentine's Day). Also known as Singles Appreciation Day
Statehood Day in Arizona - (Local Observance in Arizona)
Valentine's Day
World Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day
World Sound Healing Day

DH and I each write our children a hand written note for Vday. Even if they think we're annoying, we want them to know how much they mean to us. We could do this any day of course, but we think it will be nice to look back and know we did this for them every Valentine's Day. We don't play to stop when they're adults.