Anonymous wrote:To the PPs criticizing OP for being "codependent on her husband" just because she likes to hike and run with him, do you really not understand enjoying a hobby with your spouse?

I can see who's probably fat and frigid here.

^ now that’s a proper ahole

Excellent illustration, PP! Good on ya!

To the PPs criticizing OP for being "codependent on her husband" just because she likes to hike and run with him, do you really not understand enjoying a hobby with your spouse?

I can see who's probably fat and frigid here.

Folks can have different opinions without being trolls or aholes. It’s kind of weird to name call that way.

Yikes. A-holes out in full force.

OP, I'm a nanny and work 50 hours during the week. I still like being my employer's first contact for evening or weekend sitting. Your nanny is an adult and can let you know if it doesn't work for her anymore. You are NOT at all wrong for having the audacity to want alone time with your spouse, jfc.

If needed, I'd let the younger one just adjust with a new sitter. Kids cry and will be fine. Good luck!

Nanny here- your nanny’s babysitting gigs have probably dried up so she needs extra hours. Please be considerate and don’t schedule her something like 12-3 and ruin the whole day. I like 8-11 on weekends becuase then you still have a day. And pay OT!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is not an indentured servant. She is choosing to work and will be compensated for it. OP, I don’t know why you felt the need to crowdsource this but some of the posters are clearly trolling.

OP hasn't been on the thread all night. She stuck her poor nanny with the kids, again, because it's Saturday night and OP just had to reconnect with her husband because she's just soooo exhausted after another long week of somebody else taking care of her children.

You might be less crabby if you went out alone with your significant other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not trolling to state she’s exploring the nanny.

Exploiting.

How is it exploitation?

Anonymous wrote:It’s not trolling to state she’s exploring the nanny.

Exploiting.

It’s not trolling to state she’s exploring the nanny.

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is not an indentured servant. She is choosing to work and will be compensated for it. OP, I don’t know why you felt the need to crowdsource this but some of the posters are clearly trolling.

OP hasn't been on the thread all night. She stuck her poor nanny with the kids, again, because it's Saturday night and OP just had to reconnect with her husband because she's just soooo exhausted after another long week of somebody else taking care of her children.

The nanny is not an indentured servant. She is choosing to work and will be compensated for it. OP, I don’t know why you felt the need to crowdsource this but some of the posters are clearly trolling.

Anonymous wrote:Hire another sitter. Yes kids that age sob when their parents leave. It really will be ok. Hire an experienced sitter and a vet that you aren’t harming your child by her crying when you leave.

This. And not just because you need that time with DH, but because you really cannot have all of your childcare be dependent on one person. She’s bound to have things come up in her life and you will be so screwed if she’s the ONLY person you can call on. You need to start building a more robust network so if she gets injured, sick, has a death in her family, moves, etc. you have other people to help fill the gap.

Also, you better be compensating her extremely well if you have this level of demand on her time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do the two of you "really need" that time to reconnect? You farm out your childcare all day and then need to get away from your kids on the weekends, too? Why did you bother having them in the first place?

HI! OP here and I was waiting for you to show up!

DH and I both work from home, spend more quality time with our kids than you ever did but, unlike you, we’re both athletic and do need time to work out outside and be together as a couple.

Why did a miserable and bitter pill like you bother to have kids?

If you're both at home, then why is your nanny running ragged all day? You're contradicting yourself.

We’re working, dear. Do I need to explain to you what “working” means? But we’re always around when the kids need us and have no commute.

And who said our nanny is “running ragged”?! She’s going all day. Do you even have two little kids?

Np Let me get this straight. Your nanny takes care of your kids. so she's working. A SAHP is home with the kids and taking care of them but is not work to you? Sure, SAHP isn't paid but, they are working. There is no need to insult Stay at home moms and dads just to be as snarky as the pp. You don't have to explain why you work or why you have an nanny. Just ignore.

Let you nanny know that they don't have to do something if they don't want to but, if it works for you both than don't look for trouble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, to answer your original question:
Yes, take your nanny at her word. She can make her decisions.

You've never told your boss you were ok with doing something when you weren't?

I guess I am assuming that they are paying her additional for the extra hours. If my assumption is correct, maybe it’s not, then I think three years in the nanny might feel differently about additional hours and income. I can imagine setting that boundary with a new employer/family to manage expectations. And, I can imagine genuinely choosing differently three years in.

OP made clear that the nanny said she's do it "only" because of how the toddler was acting. And you're totally assuming without any foundation that she now "feels differently about additional hours and income." Nothing in OP's post gives any hint that that's the case. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

You, like OP, are placing less value on the nanny's time as opposed to the OP's.

OP stated that’s the ostensible reason, I don’t assume that is 100% what is driving the nanny’s decisions. I am giving the nanny credit for being able to make her own decisions, set her own boundaries, and to work/earn as she chooses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, to answer your original question:
Yes, take your nanny at her word. She can make her decisions.

You've never told your boss you were ok with doing something when you weren't?

I guess I am assuming that they are paying her additional for the extra hours. If my assumption is correct, maybe it’s not, then I think three years in the nanny might feel differently about additional hours and income. I can imagine setting that boundary with a new employer/family to manage expectations. And, I can imagine genuinely choosing differently three years in.

OP made clear that the nanny said she's do it "only" because of how the toddler was acting. And you're totally assuming without any foundation that she now "feels differently about additional hours and income." Nothing in OP's post gives any hint that that's the case. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

You, like OP, are placing less value on the nanny's time as opposed to the OP's.