Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s also this notion from the do-everything joiner moms that if we don’t constantly lavish the teachers with effort and attention and gifts then we must not appreciate them very much. In my neighborhood you are definitely expected to help with the many many teacher appreciation things throughout the year. Same with donating to food banks, giving trees, etc. People will share over and over on social media and then when they don’t get enough participants they start texting the signup geniuses “in case you didn’t see this.” The implication is 100% that you WILL participate.

Just don't. Our PTA has done multiple donation requests over the past few weeks and enough is enough. Just get your teachers gift cards and be done with it. It makes some people feel good to donate around the holidays. Its kinda sad as these people only do it at the holidays and forget people need help all year round.

Your teacher would probably far prefer tissues, cleaning supplies, books, games for recess and school supplies over the random junk given or a gift card to go buy what they want/need.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I never participate in food exchanges, partly because my child has a deadly nut allergy, partly because I don’t trust what random people bake in their kitchens (more so in times of Covid). It all seems unappetizing and risky to me.

I volunteered on the PTA for years and logged countless hours at school in the course of my duties.

You’re not getting Covid from Christmas cookies. You’re just a generalized germaphobe. Admit it.

DP here. Point is, people don't have a good gauge on whose house is truly clean, and whose is not. I have seen people eat something form a gross house (which regularly has a giant dog in the kitchen, to boot) - "BUT it's painted gray and white, so it must be clean!"?? - as opposed to eating something from a genuinely clean house/kitchen. It's just gross, and people don't truly know who is gross, and who is not.

Okay so I keep a clean kitchen - I hope! - but aren’t the baked goods cooked? Which would kill off germs? Are you thinking people are mixing mouse poop in with the chocolate chips or something? I don’t really get this concern.

Would you be OK with somebody touching the bottom of their feet, cleaning out the cats litter box and then cooking? It gets cooked off, after all. That would bother me. If it doesn’t bother you, that’s your prerogative but I think the vast majority of people would think that’s gross. Likewise, handling raw eggs and then baked cookies it’s not safe food practices, or maybe they’re not washing their hands after handling food between food. My neighbor, who has a swanky high-paying job, “nice house” is so gross in the kitchen that I almost threw up once from watching how she operated. I just don’t trust people enough to eat random food and teachers shouldn’t either.

One of the parents posts pictures regularly of her kitchen and she's the main person organizing and donating. Her kitchen is really gross looking. Crowded (big house so its not a storage issue) and doesn't look clean at all.

Most teachers I know toss it.

Anonymous wrote:All these things started when there is as one parent at home. Now, most parents work and most teachers don't need cookies.

Our PTA is mainly working parents. They are the ones constantly asking for parent donations. When I did it, I skipped the parent donations and got community donations instead. So much easier.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is the Performative PTA President and fancies herself as a 1950s housewife. She coordinates all sorts of teacher goodie bag distributions and is big into party favor type things for every occasion. I wish someone would tell her to stop.

She’s turned into the crazy lady who makes bags of goodies and leaves out for the mailman, the UPS driver, kids walking to school. She’s in a semi rural area adjacent to a Main Street.

In this type of area, this behavior is fine and sometimes expected and appreciated. At least it was when I lived in a rural town. There was so little to do that the holidays made life exciting.

In an urban area, with so much congestion to fight and where everything takes longer, very few people want to bake cookies or eat cookies from people they don't know. In a smaller rural area, they know who you are and know to throw away the cookies from the cat lady but eat the delicious ones from suzy homemaker. If I was a teacher in the dc area, I would throw most of those cookies away if I didn't know who cooked them. In rural usa, I would know the person and probably eat them.

My SIL is the Performative PTA President and fancies herself as a 1950s housewife. She coordinates all sorts of teacher goodie bag distributions and is big into party favor type things for every occasion. I wish someone would tell her to stop.

She’s turned into the crazy lady who makes bags of goodies and leaves out for the mailman, the UPS driver, kids walking to school. She’s in a semi rural area adjacent to a Main Street.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I never participate in food exchanges, partly because my child has a deadly nut allergy, partly because I don’t trust what random people bake in their kitchens (more so in times of Covid). It all seems unappetizing and risky to me.

I volunteered on the PTA for years and logged countless hours at school in the course of my duties.

You’re not getting Covid from Christmas cookies. You’re just a generalized germaphobe. Admit it.

DP here. Point is, people don't have a good gauge on whose house is truly clean, and whose is not. I have seen people eat something form a gross house (which regularly has a giant dog in the kitchen, to boot) - "BUT it's painted gray and white, so it must be clean!"?? - as opposed to eating something from a genuinely clean house/kitchen. It's just gross, and people don't truly know who is gross, and who is not.

Okay so I keep a clean kitchen - I hope! - but aren’t the baked goods cooked? Which would kill off germs? Are you thinking people are mixing mouse poop in with the chocolate chips or something? I don’t really get this concern.

Would you be OK with somebody touching the bottom of their feet, cleaning out the cats litter box and then cooking? It gets cooked off, after all. That would bother me. If it doesn’t bother you, that’s your prerogative but I think the vast majority of people would think that’s gross. Likewise, handling raw eggs and then baked cookies it’s not safe food practices, or maybe they’re not washing their hands after handling food between food. My neighbor, who has a swanky high-paying job, “nice house” is so gross in the kitchen that I almost threw up once from watching how she operated. I just don’t trust people enough to eat random food and teachers shouldn’t either.

Just skip what you don’t want to do.

I get so tired of the endless “woe is me” holiday posts where posters—usually women—whine and go on about the “stress of it all” when none of it is compulsory, none of it is being graded, and no one actually gives much of a shyt about what you do or don’t do. No one actually even notices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I never participate in food exchanges, partly because my child has a deadly nut allergy, partly because I don’t trust what random people bake in their kitchens (more so in times of Covid). It all seems unappetizing and risky to me.

I volunteered on the PTA for years and logged countless hours at school in the course of my duties.

You’re not getting Covid from Christmas cookies. You’re just a generalized germaphobe. Admit it.

DP here. Point is, people don't have a good gauge on whose house is truly clean, and whose is not. I have seen people eat something form a gross house (which regularly has a giant dog in the kitchen, to boot) - "BUT it's painted gray and white, so it must be clean!"?? - as opposed to eating something from a genuinely clean house/kitchen. It's just gross, and people don't truly know who is gross, and who is not.

Okay so I keep a clean kitchen - I hope! - but aren’t the baked goods cooked? Which would kill off germs? Are you thinking people are mixing mouse poop in with the chocolate chips or something? I don’t really get this concern.

I got cookie emails too but I can’t imagine teacher eating random foods so I don’t even bother signing up even though my sanitation is impeccable. Too many people cook in insanitary kitchens or have unhygienic practices.

see literally 4 bucks @ target
https://www.target.com/p/white-frosted-sugar-cookies-13-5oz-10ct-favorite-day-8482/-/A-14827476#lnk=sametab

just buy those holiday-themed cookies from your local grocery store, plop em on a plate and bring them in. then your kids can participate in the activity and YOU don't have to put in any work (other than going to the store)

OMG - teacher here who loves assorted holiday cookies, but honestly have not gotten those from kids - more like from coworkers. Im in a Title 1 school though so suburban white woman things are not the norm. I have gotten homemade tamales and tacos multiple times though and I LOVE it (Colombian hubby does too!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I never participate in food exchanges, partly because my child has a deadly nut allergy, partly because I don’t trust what random people bake in their kitchens (more so in times of Covid). It all seems unappetizing and risky to me.

I volunteered on the PTA for years and logged countless hours at school in the course of my duties.

You’re not getting Covid from Christmas cookies. You’re just a generalized germaphobe. Admit it.

DP here. Point is, people don't have a good gauge on whose house is truly clean, and whose is not. I have seen people eat something form a gross house (which regularly has a giant dog in the kitchen, to boot) - "BUT it's painted gray and white, so it must be clean!"?? - as opposed to eating something from a genuinely clean house/kitchen. It's just gross, and people don't truly know who is gross, and who is not.

I've seen far too many people think it is cute when their kids lick their fingers, stick fingers in noses, etc. while making delightful home baked goods. No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s also this notion from the do-everything joiner moms that if we don’t constantly lavish the teachers with effort and attention and gifts then we must not appreciate them very much. In my neighborhood you are definitely expected to help with the many many teacher appreciation things throughout the year. Same with donating to food banks, giving trees, etc. People will share over and over on social media and then when they don’t get enough participants they start texting the signup geniuses “in case you didn’t see this.” The implication is 100% that you WILL participate.

Unfriend and I follow them on social media. Or stop going on social media all together. I no longer see the PTA photos posted and I delete the emails.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I never participate in food exchanges, partly because my child has a deadly nut allergy, partly because I don’t trust what random people bake in their kitchens (more so in times of Covid). It all seems unappetizing and risky to me.

I volunteered on the PTA for years and logged countless hours at school in the course of my duties.

You’re not getting Covid from Christmas cookies. You’re just a generalized germaphobe. Admit it.

DP here. Point is, people don't have a good gauge on whose house is truly clean, and whose is not. I have seen people eat something form a gross house (which regularly has a giant dog in the kitchen, to boot) - "BUT it's painted gray and white, so it must be clean!"?? - as opposed to eating something from a genuinely clean house/kitchen. It's just gross, and people don't truly know who is gross, and who is not.