I am surprised your child has already been deferred. Seems to early. Anyway, you need to come up with a school list for RD. Talk to your GC and look at Naviance. If your child had a successful GPA during the first quarter, determine how you can send this info to the EA school. And, can your child write to admissions letting them know that this is your first choice school. Communicate and be proactive. Good luck. This time builds character.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board, many act as if the choices are a top 20 school or your child is not cut out for college.

OP, keep in mind that this is a board of wealthy people, striving for elitism. The rest of us mere mortals and our kids will be ok! My child did well in (a public) high school, but not a superstar. He is at a small LAC that is not at the top, but he can get a good education and go on to have a good life.

I’m sure that elite education has its perks. But most of us are not going to be part of that. And that’s ok.

This isn’t true. My view is that if you’re not cut out for a top 20 then you’d be crazy to throw money at a second tier loser private college that no one’s ever heard of. Just go to a state school and be reasonable. I hate when DCUM parents who can’t get their kids into top colleges send them to somewhere silly like a CTCL school then make it out that the school is a “hidden gem” that’s as good as Harvard.

I am the previous poster, and allow me to clarify: I did not say my child’s CTCL school is “as good as Harvard”. I’m sure it’s not. But can it still provide a good education, so that my child can earn a degree, have a career or job and be a self-supporting, happy person? Yes. Also, I would not, and did not, pay full tuition for the CTCL school. My child got several scholarships that together cover $45K of the tuition, making it affordable, and as affordable or cheaper than a state school. It works for my family. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board, many act as if the choices are a top 20 school or your child is not cut out for college.

OP, keep in mind that this is a board of wealthy people, striving for elitism. The rest of us mere mortals and our kids will be ok! My child did well in (a public) high school, but not a superstar. He is at a small LAC that is not at the top, but he can get a good education and go on to have a good life.

I’m sure that elite education has its perks. But most of us are not going to be part of that. And that’s ok.

This isn’t true. My view is that if you’re not cut out for a top 20 then you’d be crazy to throw money at a second tier loser private college that no one’s ever heard of. Just go to a state school and be reasonable. I hate when DCUM parents who can’t get their kids into top colleges send them to somewhere silly like a CTCL school then make it out that the school is a “hidden gem” that’s as good as Harvard.

A small remote school where kids spend tons of time with professors who are dedicated to teaching undergrads is preferred in the eyes of SOME families over the large state school experience. That has NOTHING to do with them claiming it is analogous to Harvard.

The choices are not Harvard or State U, unless you think your only options are impressing others or being frugal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board, many act as if the choices are a top 20 school or your child is not cut out for college.

OP, keep in mind that this is a board of wealthy people, striving for elitism. The rest of us mere mortals and our kids will be ok! My child did well in (a public) high school, but not a superstar. He is at a small LAC that is not at the top, but he can get a good education and go on to have a good life.

I’m sure that elite education has its perks. But most of us are not going to be part of that. And that’s ok.

Exactly. And not only is it an elite attitude, it’s patently false and toxic. I used to have this attitude in high school. I went to a private school and left my old friends in public “behind.” I thought it was tragic how they had to go to state schools. I thought I would achieve anything I wanted, and they would be disappointments.

After 30 years, I can see how very wrong I was. We are all in similar places in life. But the ones from the private schools and “top” colleges are more likely to be anxious and depressed. When you believe that only the best will do in all things, you wake up every day feeling like a failure.

Thank your for sharing this insight. I know that wealthy parents in the DMV want the "best" for their children, but I wish they could see and absorb the mental health effects of constantly striving and comparing yourself to others. NOT the formula for happiness or peace.

There are hundreds of colleges and universities and OF COURSE B-students (and even C-students) with average SAT/ACT scores are getting into them and succeeding. I do't know who is telling your child he won't get into college, but they are ridiculous.

That said, it's also ridiculous of you to look down on people who go into trades and/or the military - most of which require very skilled people and some of which pay significantly more than your kid will make with a college degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your words would mean more if you weren’t trying to stratify other groups of kids. Insinuating your child is average but still above those in trade schools or the military really jumbles your message.

Exactly. And don’t forget op’s kid goes to a competitive school so it not some scrub at a second tier private. Op-I’m sorry for your kid but you need to snap out of it and don’t be such a snob.

Oh stop. I know exactly what OP means. Several years ago my kid got 1370 on the SAT and DCUMers were telling me with a score like that he should consider going to community college.

what's wrong with a community college?

DP - Nothing, and no one said there was. You strawman-ed.

The incorrect point others made was that was the only option for a kid with those scores.

WTF is wrong with people around here?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board, many act as if the choices are a top 20 school or your child is not cut out for college.

OP, keep in mind that this is a board of wealthy people, striving for elitism. The rest of us mere mortals and our kids will be ok! My child did well in (a public) high school, but not a superstar. He is at a small LAC that is not at the top, but he can get a good education and go on to have a good life.

I’m sure that elite education has its perks. But most of us are not going to be part of that. And that’s ok.

Exactly. And not only is it an elite attitude, it’s patently false and toxic. I used to have this attitude in high school. I went to a private school and left my old friends in public “behind.” I thought it was tragic how they had to go to state schools. I thought I would achieve anything I wanted, and they would be disappointments.

After 30 years, I can see how very wrong I was. We are all in similar places in life. But the ones from the private schools and “top” colleges are more likely to be anxious and depressed. When you believe that only the best will do in all things, you wake up every day feeling like a failure.

+100 from someone who went to DC private and top 10 college and whose kids are in public school and applying to only state schools

Anonymous wrote:On this board, many act as if the choices are a top 20 school or your child is not cut out for college.

OP, keep in mind that this is a board of wealthy people, striving for elitism. The rest of us mere mortals and our kids will be ok! My child did well in (a public) high school, but not a superstar. He is at a small LAC that is not at the top, but he can get a good education and go on to have a good life.

I’m sure that elite education has its perks. But most of us are not going to be part of that. And that’s ok.

This isn’t true. My view is that if you’re not cut out for a top 20 then you’d be crazy to throw money at a second tier loser private college that no one’s ever heard of. Just go to a state school and be reasonable. I hate when DCUM parents who can’t get their kids into top colleges send them to somewhere silly like a CTCL school then make it out that the school is a “hidden gem” that’s as good as Harvard.

I have twins. One had very bad test scores and a very bad GPA. He is very bright and perceptive but did not try one bit in high school (or middle school for that matter). The few times he put in a bit of effort, he did well. He also happens to be socially immature and on the spectrum but that’s our issue to deal with. For purposes of this post, he got into 5-6 schools, all of which were very decent. His twin had a much better gpa but below average test scores. He got into every school he applied to and got merit offers from every school but one. Oh, twin #1 even got a merit award from one private school of about 15,000 which we were shocked about. This was a few years ago. Many (but not all) of the top 20 or bust commenters have not been through the application process recently and do not realize how much has changed from even 15 years ago.

Op, I understand what you are saying and it is frustrating to receive a rejection. But look through some of the recent threads as there are many lists of suggested schools for kids who are in the 3-4 range. My son was in the 2-3 range and had success.

There is still time to add some rolling or RD applications. Good luck.

Hugs to you. My kid is average (3.7w and 28 act) and applied ED to a likely. Our biggest gift has been that he’s the kind of kid who could be happy anywhere, but the number of times he has had to defend his absolute dream school because he could get in somewhere better or people think he should reach higher is just ridiculous. I wish your kid every happiness in the college they end up in.

OP I hope your child gains admission to a school that is a good fit.
You are right- those scores are fine and they will be successful in college and career with their track record of a solid B average in a good high school.

I guess I have a slightly different perspective from you. I always thought that since most college bound students fit the description of your child, that there is a well trodden path into college for them.

I have always thought that if you have a 99th percentile student, it is harder to get helpful advice from friends and family and a board like this becomes much more helpful.

In any case, I hope things work out during the RD period. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:On this board, many act as if the choices are a top 20 school or your child is not cut out for college.

OP, keep in mind that this is a board of wealthy people, striving for elitism. The rest of us mere mortals and our kids will be ok! My child did well in (a public) high school, but not a superstar. He is at a small LAC that is not at the top, but he can get a good education and go on to have a good life.

I’m sure that elite education has its perks. But most of us are not going to be part of that. And that’s ok.

Exactly. And not only is it an elite attitude, it’s patently false and toxic. I used to have this attitude in high school. I went to a private school and left my old friends in public “behind.” I thought it was tragic how they had to go to state schools. I thought I would achieve anything I wanted, and they would be disappointments.

After 30 years, I can see how very wrong I was. We are all in similar places in life. But the ones from the private schools and “top” colleges are more likely to be anxious and depressed. When you believe that only the best will do in all things, you wake up every day feeling like a failure.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your son’s disappointment but how about you be kind to the many people who are in trades on this board. It’s absurd you are are wounded about the suggestion that could be an ok life when many people reading and suggesting have that life.

DP. There's nothing wrong with trades, it just needs to be the person's choice. Why would people discourage teens from at least trying to get into college if they want to. People on this site in the trades are adults and would not be offended by OPs post.

On this board, many act as if the choices are a top 20 school or your child is not cut out for college.

OP, keep in mind that this is a board of wealthy people, striving for elitism. The rest of us mere mortals and our kids will be ok! My child did well in (a public) high school, but not a superstar. He is at a small LAC that is not at the top, but he can get a good education and go on to have a good life.

I’m sure that elite education has its perks. But most of us are not going to be part of that. And that’s ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your words would mean more if you weren’t trying to stratify other groups of kids. Insinuating your child is average but still above those in trade schools or the military really jumbles your message.

Exactly. And don’t forget op’s kid goes to a competitive school so it not some scrub at a second tier private. Op-I’m sorry for your kid but you need to snap out of it and don’t be such a snob.

Oh stop. I know exactly what OP means. Several years ago my kid got 1370 on the SAT and DCUMers were telling me with a score like that he should consider going to community college.

what's wrong with a community college?