Anonymous
Post 11/13/2021 20:00     Subject: Drama over a PS5
OP here,
To clear some things up. My niece is 15. She is my sisters only bio child. Her 2 step kids are like 12 or 14. I'm really not sure their ages. The party was actually not at my sisters house. It was held at water park which her father paid for and my sister brought the cake. They have been doing joint bday parties for years but no joint holidays.

I know people won't believe this but I did not buy the ps5 to cause drama. She has wanted one so bad. I did not ask my sister if my niece could have one for the simple fact that she does not live with her. She lives with her dad and he will be the one buying games for her ps5. It was that simple.

The stepkids are going to have to get use to it. Nieces dad is in a different income bracket and his only child so she is going to get nicer things. Next year he told me he was getting her a brand new car for her 16th bday.

That ps5 brought the crazy out of people.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2021 08:39     Subject: Drama over a PS5
How many stepkids are there??? How old are they?

It sounds like there are boys and her stepdad also doesn’t like the girl. It is really hard to go from being an only child to suddenly living with a bunch of men/boys who do not like you. I feel really bad for this girl.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 21:37     Subject: Drama over a PS5
I wouldn't have warned her about alienating her daughter, that's going to fall on deaf ears. I probably would have shrugged her off with an "oops! sorry, didn't know!"

But having to pay child support is 100% on her. Fathers don't get any slack for skipping out on child support, mothers shouldn't, either. Legally she needs to, the money belongs to her daughter. And if she's paying $900 a month, she makes good money and will be fine. She'll just need to cut luxury expenses.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 17:03     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here’s the real concern:

You’ve now triggered a pissing match between your sister and your niece’s father. He filed for child support and that’s causing a financial hardship. It is very very likely that your sister files for 50/50 custody to reduce/eliminate child support. The stepdad already didn’t like your niece before any of this. Now he’s going to absolutely hate her. That would put her in such a vulnerable position if she were forced to live in that house half her life.

You didn’t do anything wrong, but you also didn’t do anything right. Nobody is thinking about protecting this girl. It’s common for parents to be the ones to smooth over awkward social situations with their children and extended family. Both parents have abdicated this role and that leaves your niece really phucking vulnerable.


That's not how it works in child custody. She signed the paperwork agreeing to ex getting primary custody, with the attending CS, despite not paying it and ex not collecting it. There has to be a change in circumstances that would trigger a change in custody and "I screwed up and can't afford the child support I agreed to, and now I want to avoid actually paying for my daughter's needs by having her live with me" isn't on that list. If you can't afford child support, how can you afford to actually house your child? This is ridiculous.


Obviously, she wouldn’t use child support as the reason. No child custody agreement is ever “forever” she could simply file saying that after trying dad having full custody it is not working and the child would’ve better off spending equal time with each of her parents.People ask for adjustments in custody all the time. If she wanted to go nuclear she could claim parental alienation and try to get full custody.

The only person who loses here is the girl. Again, zero people are looking out for her best interests.




That's still game playing. And complete BS and shouldn't be posted here as strategy. No one should see that - OP, anyone else in similar situation - as a strategy. It's why our family courts are BROKEN and sick.
P.S. "Hmmm, gee, it's not working" on the heels of finally paying child support isn't a valid reason. Courts aren't as stupid as you think they are. They're broken, but they're not as stupid as "what a coincidence, the minute she has to pay child support, suddenly this arrangement isn't working" stupid.
P.P.S. You should be ashamed for even suggesting parental alienation syndrome.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 16:21     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here’s the real concern:

You’ve now triggered a pissing match between your sister and your niece’s father. He filed for child support and that’s causing a financial hardship. It is very very likely that your sister files for 50/50 custody to reduce/eliminate child support. The stepdad already didn’t like your niece before any of this. Now he’s going to absolutely hate her. That would put her in such a vulnerable position if she were forced to live in that house half her life.

You didn’t do anything wrong, but you also didn’t do anything right. Nobody is thinking about protecting this girl. It’s common for parents to be the ones to smooth over awkward social situations with their children and extended family. Both parents have abdicated this role and that leaves your niece really phucking vulnerable.


That's not how it works in child custody. She signed the paperwork agreeing to ex getting primary custody, with the attending CS, despite not paying it and ex not collecting it. There has to be a change in circumstances that would trigger a change in custody and "I screwed up and can't afford the child support I agreed to, and now I want to avoid actually paying for my daughter's needs by having her live with me" isn't on that list. If you can't afford child support, how can you afford to actually house your child? This is ridiculous.


Obviously, she wouldn’t use child support as the reason. No child custody agreement is ever “forever” she could simply file saying that after trying dad having full custody it is not working and the child would’ve better off spending equal time with each of her parents.People ask for adjustments in custody all the time. If she wanted to go nuclear she could claim parental alienation and try to get full custody.

The only person who loses here is the girl. Again, zero people are looking out for her best interests.


Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 15:42     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Op and her sister love the drama.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 15:35     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:This has been in the making since August. My sister got really upset with me because I bought my niece a PS5 for her birthday. She said I knew she would not share it with her step siblings and now they are very upset. My niece does not really get on with her stepfather and his kids so she lives with her dad 99% of the time so it's not like she would even keep the PS5 at her moms anyway. She might spend 4 hours a week there at most. She said it was really crappy of me to get her one and have her open it in front of everyone knowing damn well this would upset her stepkids. I told her I ran it by nieces father and asked him if it was okay I get her the gaming system and he told me it was fine. I brought up that her daughter does not live with her and her being so upset makes no sense and her stepkids were not entitled to anything that belonged to my niece especially a birthday gift.

I warned her she was damaging her relationship with her daughter and the time would come she could cut her off completely if she did not reign in her stepkids and husband entitlement. She rang up her ex husband and took him to task for giving the ok for the gaming system. He in turn threatened her with filing for child support and would give it all to his daughter for fun money if she called him again with such BS. It turned out he was so pissed about what happened he did file for child support and now my sister is on the hook for $900 a month. She made her first payment this month and she has to pay retro from the time he filed. I never dreamed this would cause so much trouble. My sister blames everything on me. She keeps saying money was tight before and now they cannot pay all their bills. This is 100% on my sister right? She will not let it go.


I think if you had stopped after paragraph one, you might be in the clear. The rest, where you "warned" her overstepped.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 15:33     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:Here’s the real concern:

You’ve now triggered a pissing match between your sister and your niece’s father. He filed for child support and that’s causing a financial hardship. It is very very likely that your sister files for 50/50 custody to reduce/eliminate child support. The stepdad already didn’t like your niece before any of this. Now he’s going to absolutely hate her. That would put her in such a vulnerable position if she were forced to live in that house half her life.

You didn’t do anything wrong, but you also didn’t do anything right. Nobody is thinking about protecting this girl. It’s common for parents to be the ones to smooth over awkward social situations with their children and extended family. Both parents have abdicated this role and that leaves your niece really phucking vulnerable.


That's not how it works in child custody. She signed the paperwork agreeing to ex getting primary custody, with the attending CS, despite not paying it and ex not collecting it. There has to be a change in circumstances that would trigger a change in custody and "I screwed up and can't afford the child support I agreed to, and now I want to avoid actually paying for my daughter's needs by having her live with me" isn't on that list. If you can't afford child support, how can you afford to actually house your child? This is ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 14:30     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:Here’s the real concern:

You’ve now triggered a pissing match between your sister and your niece’s father. He filed for child support and that’s causing a financial hardship. It is very very likely that your sister files for 50/50 custody to reduce/eliminate child support. The stepdad already didn’t like your niece before any of this. Now he’s going to absolutely hate her. That would put her in such a vulnerable position if she were forced to live in that house half her life.

You didn’t do anything wrong, but you also didn’t do anything right. Nobody is thinking about protecting this girl. It’s common for parents to be the ones to smooth over awkward social situations with their children and extended family. Both parents have abdicated this role and that leaves your niece really phucking vulnerable.


+1

Focus on well being of niece first
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 11:09     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:Here’s the real concern:

You’ve now triggered a pissing match between your sister and your niece’s father. He filed for child support and that’s causing a financial hardship. It is very very likely that your sister files for 50/50 custody to reduce/eliminate child support. The stepdad already didn’t like your niece before any of this. Now he’s going to absolutely hate her. That would put her in such a vulnerable position if she were forced to live in that house half her life.

You didn’t do anything wrong, but you also didn’t do anything right. Nobody is thinking about protecting this girl. It’s common for parents to be the ones to smooth over awkward social situations with their children and extended family. Both parents have abdicated this role and that leaves your niece really phucking vulnerable.


This is all between the sister and her niece's father. How often does anyone feel bad for a dad who has a hard time scraping together his child support? The sister shouldn't get off easy because she's a woman and CS is now a hardship. She should have been paying all along. She got upset over a game console and now has to pay the piper. The daughter is the only one deserving of sympathy. There has to be a lot more history here than just this one incident, OP seemed to know just which buttons to push.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 11:03     Subject: Drama over a PS5
How old is the niece?

Where was the PS5 given and opened? Was it a family birthday party? At whose house?

Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 10:46     Subject: Drama over a PS5
Here’s the real concern:

You’ve now triggered a pissing match between your sister and your niece’s father. He filed for child support and that’s causing a financial hardship. It is very very likely that your sister files for 50/50 custody to reduce/eliminate child support. The stepdad already didn’t like your niece before any of this. Now he’s going to absolutely hate her. That would put her in such a vulnerable position if she were forced to live in that house half her life.

You didn’t do anything wrong, but you also didn’t do anything right. Nobody is thinking about protecting this girl. It’s common for parents to be the ones to smooth over awkward social situations with their children and extended family. Both parents have abdicated this role and that leaves your niece really phucking vulnerable.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 10:45     Subject: Drama over a PS5
OP get some help to figure out why you feel the need to feed this drama. This young person does not need a PS%. She needs as many grown ups in her life as possible who act like grown ups and take the high road and don't try to cause drama. A gift would be to get yourself help so you can be a positive influence in her life. Stop trying to buy love.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 10:40     Subject: Re:Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I bought it from a reseller I know. I paid more than the $499 he paid for it.

I can only guess why my nieces father he did not file for child support but it could have been to keep my sister and her husband in line. They always had 50/50 but when my niece started living with him full time he had his lawyer draw up paperwork giving him primary custody which my sister signed. He did not ask for child support at the time.


Ah, yes. They're not married anymore, but the mother must be kept in line.

Truthfully, you are either clueless or a jerk. I'm kind of going with jerk who likes to stir the pot. You obviously don't care for your sister. Her ex-husband sounds like a real winner. It's too bad that your niece doesn't seem to have any adult that can leave drama aside and just be a positive presence in her life.


Hmm. I think I would sarcastically describe the parent who is complaining about paying child support as "a real winner," but I guess opinions can vary.


+1 the dad doing 99% of the parenting is the one in the right. Dead beat mom who thinks shes MOTY for drawing the line at video games that won’t even be played at her house is a real piece of work. Her sister has her number. The real issue wasn’t even that she disapproved, it was that her daughter wouldn’t share it with her evil brat step brothers. Mom’s got her priorities straight. Probably just doesn’t want to piss off her new husband and treats her own daughter like garbage.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2021 10:17     Subject: Re:Drama over a PS5
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I bought it from a reseller I know. I paid more than the $499 he paid for it.

I can only guess why my nieces father he did not file for child support but it could have been to keep my sister and her husband in line. They always had 50/50 but when my niece started living with him full time he had his lawyer draw up paperwork giving him primary custody which my sister signed. He did not ask for child support at the time.


Ah, yes. They're not married anymore, but the mother must be kept in line.

Truthfully, you are either clueless or a jerk. I'm kind of going with jerk who likes to stir the pot. You obviously don't care for your sister. Her ex-husband sounds like a real winner. It's too bad that your niece doesn't seem to have any adult that can leave drama aside and just be a positive presence in her life.


Hmm. I think I would sarcastically describe the parent who is complaining about paying child support as "a real winner," but I guess opinions can vary.


While I think that keeping mom in line was a poor choice of words, however it was obviously a gesture of goodwill. In his mind he was doing something nice for his ex and he probably did expect some type of reciprocity. Doing 99% of the parenting and being yelled at that he’s doing it wrong does not count as reciprocity.