Anonymous wrote:It’s no wonder that holidays frequently turn into dysfunctional family gatherings when people apparently lose their minds over a relative serving them a plate of homemade food.

We do a buffet, but truly, who cares? The food police aren’t going to show up and make you clear your plate. People in this town really can’t yield an ounce of control even for a minute!

Well said.

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Anonymous wrote:Please do not serve people. It’s rude and wasteful.

I agree 100%. Not everyone likes everything; people have diets they want to follow; people have restrictions and even allergies that they don't wish to discuss or defend. Never never ever ever put a plate of food in front of a grown adult unless they specifically ask you to or agree to that when you offer.

This is so interesting to me. I am a chef and plating the meal a certain way is part of the experience. In our home, our Thanksgiving guests are our families and we are well aware of any food allergies. Since I’m asked to host every year, I guess nobody thinks I am rude (shrug). You, on the other hand, both sound like very rude dinner party guests.

Hello, duh, restaurants are different than someone’s home. A chef is not insulted if you don’t eat Aunt Edna’s creamed spinach. When you order, you can request a substitution or talk through allergies. You can give a sever or chef literally an order, as you are the paying customer. It’s different for a GUEST.

A "guest" should graciously accept what he or she is given. Did you grow up under a rock?

We are talking about THANKSGIVING. Not a formal dinner party with a soup course, a main dish, and two sides.

If you think for one second I’m going to eat green bean “casserole” because you glopped it on my plate, think again. I eat turkey and the sides of my choosing. And no, Gladys, I will not be choking down creamed onions to please you.

If you think there’s no difference between a formal dinner party meal and a full holiday feast, you’re a moron, and clearly no “chef.”

Chef here. There are a few different people agreeing with me. I didn’t make all these posts. And many people have a formal meal at Thanksgiving. And many others don’t. There’s no wrong way. My point is only that my way - plating food- isn’t rude.

Yes, it is, when it comes to a multi-side—multi-main, even—holiday feast. Yes, it is. I’m a grown adult and I get to decide what I eat, and how much. Even if everything looks appetizing, I’m not going to eat every single thing at a large holiday feast. I’m simply not built that way—I can’t “stuff.” I want room to eat what I want to eat. I may have—not an allergy per se—but a sensitive tummy when it comes to this or that, and I don’t want to discuss that with you.

Plating food at a holiday feast for other adults is rude. ***Asking*** them if they would like you to plate for them is fine. ***Offering*** to do so is fine. Just doing that is not fine, and it is rude.

I am not the Chef, just a different poster reading your back-and-forth.

I have a question for you: Have you never gone to a dinner party at someone's house before?

I'm not talking about a backyard barbecue. I'm talking about a nice dinner party where you're all seating at the dining room table and dinner is served by either staff or the host. Normally for a nice dinner party the food is plated in the kitchen and served to you. In fact hosting a nice dinner but serving it buffet style is ... lets just say ... uncouth.

I also think you are mistaking something. For a traditional Thanksgiving the buffet is used because there is a wider variety of foods that are prepared. Obviously the Chef is not doing that. S/he has prepared four or five items that are being served. It is not like you are going to have options if you prefer sweet potatoes over mashed yet the Chef only prepared rice LOL.

It really sounds like you don't have much experience eating at other peoples' homes or for more formal events. You might try to dial back your Burger King (we'll make it your way) tastes and experience a little more fine dining.

Again, not the Chef. Just an innocent bystander reading your posts and wondering what your problem is that you wouldn't graciously accept what you are given.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok fancy people, answer me this. If you have a centerpiece on the table how do you fit all the serving dishes you need for a big meal like Thanksgiving? Or is the food left in the kitchen and people take their own plates to fill then sit back down.

Lesson #1 in being fancy. You do not serve from the kitchen unless you are dining in an adjoining area. At most you can use the breakfast bar as a buffet but it should be dressed up a bit with a runner or cloth placemats.

In today’s open plan houses, you’ll see the messy kitchen from the dining area anyway. What’s the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not serve people. It’s rude and wasteful.

I agree 100%. Not everyone likes everything; people have diets they want to follow; people have restrictions and even allergies that they don't wish to discuss or defend. Never never ever ever put a plate of food in front of a grown adult unless they specifically ask you to or agree to that when you offer.

This is so interesting to me. I am a chef and plating the meal a certain way is part of the experience. In our home, our Thanksgiving guests are our families and we are well aware of any food allergies. Since I’m asked to host every year, I guess nobody thinks I am rude (shrug). You, on the other hand, both sound like very rude dinner party guests.

Hello, duh, restaurants are different than someone’s home. A chef is not insulted if you don’t eat Aunt Edna’s creamed spinach. When you order, you can request a substitution or talk through allergies. You can give a sever or chef literally an order, as you are the paying customer. It’s different for a GUEST.

A "guest" should graciously accept what he or she is given. Did you grow up under a rock?

We are talking about THANKSGIVING. Not a formal dinner party with a soup course, a main dish, and two sides.

If you think for one second I’m going to eat green bean “casserole” because you glopped it on my plate, think again. I eat turkey and the sides of my choosing. And no, Gladys, I will not be choking down creamed onions to please you.

If you think there’s no difference between a formal dinner party meal and a full holiday feast, you’re a moron, and clearly no “chef.”

Ding, ding, ding. We found the rude person here. You cannot post a rebuttal without calling names? You ARE rude. You might want to think about it. I am sure it is why you are lonely and unloved.

(DP)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not serve people. It’s rude and wasteful.

I agree 100%. Not everyone likes everything; people have diets they want to follow; people have restrictions and even allergies that they don't wish to discuss or defend. Never never ever ever put a plate of food in front of a grown adult unless they specifically ask you to or agree to that when you offer.

This is so interesting to me. I am a chef and plating the meal a certain way is part of the experience. In our home, our Thanksgiving guests are our families and we are well aware of any food allergies. Since I’m asked to host every year, I guess nobody thinks I am rude (shrug). You, on the other hand, both sound like very rude dinner party guests.

99% of people here are not dining with chefs on thanksgiving. We are sitting with our family and in-laws. You are the exception not the rule. We didn’t order a plate, so we shouldn’t be served like a child. Not to mention over and under serving.

I still would never think it was rude if I was a guest in someone’s home and they put a plate of food in front of me.

Would you think the guest was rude if they only ate half the plate? Didn’t care for your green bean casserole and lumpy potatoes?

DP. No, I wouldn't. I would expect they ate a bite of it and decided that it wasn't to their taste.

Anonymous wrote:I have nothing to contribute to the original question. I’m just coming on her to say I will eat any holiday meal that I don’t have to cook, whether someone plates it for me, or whether I have to put it on my own plate. That is all.

Moi aussi (that is for the fancy folk)

Anonymous wrote:Ok fancy people, answer me this. If you have a centerpiece on the table how do you fit all the serving dishes you need for a big meal like Thanksgiving? Or is the food left in the kitchen and people take their own plates to fill then sit back down.

Lesson #1 in being fancy. You do not serve from the kitchen unless you are dining in an adjoining area. At most you can use the breakfast bar as a buffet but it should be dressed up a bit with a runner or cloth placemats.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, fina china, flowers, cloth napkins and fancy wine glasses.

This. Why not?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not serve people. It’s rude and wasteful.

I agree 100%. Not everyone likes everything; people have diets they want to follow; people have restrictions and even allergies that they don't wish to discuss or defend. Never never ever ever put a plate of food in front of a grown adult unless they specifically ask you to or agree to that when you offer.

This is so interesting to me. I am a chef and plating the meal a certain way is part of the experience. In our home, our Thanksgiving guests are our families and we are well aware of any food allergies. Since I’m asked to host every year, I guess nobody thinks I am rude (shrug). You, on the other hand, both sound like very rude dinner party guests.

99% of people here are not dining with chefs on thanksgiving. We are sitting with our family and in-laws. You are the exception not the rule. We didn’t order a plate, so we shouldn’t be served like a child. Not to mention over and under serving.

I still would never think it was rude if I was a guest in someone’s home and they put a plate of food in front of me.

Yeah that PP is really overwrought. This is cultural too - some cultures plating is the norm. Not everything is a huge deal.

I was today years old when I learned there are 2 kinds of people in this world: those who must plate their guests dinner, and those who view such plating as a mortal offense. Who knew?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may not *prefer* that someone plate your meal, but it is definitely not *rude.*. You eat what you want, leave the rest. It would also be *rude* for a guest in someone's home to comment upon how the host serves the meal. It would be rude for anyone to comment upon what is, or is not, eaten, by anyone.

See how that works?

Asked and answered. Someone here asked for opinions on plating, and I gave mine. Don’t like opinions? Don’t ask for them, or don’t read threads where they are solicited. Bye!

This is not at all what prior poster was saying, but ok.

Anonymous wrote:You may not *prefer* that someone plate your meal, but it is definitely not *rude.*. You eat what you want, leave the rest. It would also be *rude* for a guest in someone's home to comment upon how the host serves the meal. It would be rude for anyone to comment upon what is, or is not, eaten, by anyone.

See how that works?

Asked and answered. Someone here asked for opinions on plating, and I gave mine. Don’t like opinions? Don’t ask for them, or don’t read threads where they are solicited. Bye!

It’s no wonder that holidays frequently turn into dysfunctional family gatherings when people apparently lose their minds over a relative serving them a plate of homemade food.

We do a buffet, but truly, who cares? The food police aren’t going to show up and make you clear your plate. People in this town really can’t yield an ounce of control even for a minute!

You may not *prefer* that someone plate your meal, but it is definitely not *rude.*. You eat what you want, leave the rest. It would also be *rude* for a guest in someone's home to comment upon how the host serves the meal. It would be rude for anyone to comment upon what is, or is not, eaten, by anyone.

See how that works?

This thread took quite an entertaining turn. #teamnoplate