Sounds like a dream lol. We are always traveling on Christmas and it's a nightmare. For me, traditions are what make holidays feel special/festive - reading a specific book on Christmas eve, watching a specific movie, baking cookies for Santa, etc. So I would lean on those to the extent you have them, and maybe come up with some new ones.

Anonymous wrote:My little family (me, DH, two kids) spend every holiday alone due to family distance and dysfunctional family (lots of estrangement issues on DH's side).

I find this time of year (November and December) to be the hardest months of the year to get through. All the family holidays, everyone has amazing plans with family, and we always spend all three holidays just the 4 of us.

What can I do to make holidays feel more festive and special, when it's always just the four of us? We already go all out on decorating and the food (we order nice holiday meals from a restaurant and do take-out) since I don't like to cook.

We are new to the area and don't have close friends yet that we could celebrate with. Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:I’m an army brat who grew up with a family celebration of 4 my whole life. I don’t understand why you think that’s “all alone”? You have your family with you on the holiday and it’s a perfectly normal size!

Anonymous wrote:I've read your posts and want to say I hear you, and struggling myself. Holidays bring out all kinds of emotions and people struggle for various reasons. I usually just hope for January (and no one knows quite how much). We had the big family holidays with all the littles....in the 15 years before we could have a child and we sort of missed out on all the fun of him with all his cousins. It's not the same now. We find other ways, but I get it. Ours just asked "what are we doing for xmas" and my heart breaks and wants those big family times for him. He gets tastes of them and loves to have so many people around. Being an only it's just not the same.

So just wanted to say hugs and I hear you. I'm trying to think of things to do and places to go for our own traditions...while finding care for our older pup who I hate to leave alone either!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people such jerks? Stop piling on OP as not being "alone". She feels that way and her feelings are valid.

God, some of you are such miserable, nasty people.

Sorry, but considering how many people are truly alone for the holidays and may have clicked on op’s post expecting to be able to find someone to commiserate with it comes across pretty tone deaf and obnoxious. If she had titled her post “anyone else spend all holidays without extended family?” then fine but as is it’s just flat out false and a slap in the face to many who truly have no one to share holidays with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people such jerks? Stop piling on OP as not being "alone". She feels that way and her feelings are valid.

God, some of you are such miserable, nasty people.

I disagree. Sometimes perspective is a really important thing, and yes, while OP *feels* alone, feelings aren’t facts. OP is unhappy because she is unable to see what she has, instead of focusing on what she doesn’t have.

I left home at 17, and spent many, many holidays completely alone, without any of the trimmings because I couldn’t afford them. I used that money to put myself through nursing school, and I used to volunteer at the hospital on holidays because they always had a hard time filling those shifts. I learned then that even I, at my darkest, had no idea what loneliness really was compared to some of the people that graced the doors of the emergency room those days.

OP a is choosing a fantasy of what she thinks happiness is, vs. The real happiness of feeling gratitude for what she actually has, which is a family of 4 who can afford take out and all the trimmings. It sounds like she has friends and people in her life, other than the few days they are busy, including distant parents.

The reality is, until OP against some perspective and gratitude, she won’t be happy with what she has.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, I do not like to cook. Why is that hard to understand? My husband does most of the cooking and when I cook I cook simple things. So a restaurant take-out meal (traditional Thanksgiving meal) sounds like a great idea. We might make a few side dishes to go along with it.

I have a hard time letting go of the idea of the big, loving, supportive family holiday gatherings, where cousins, aunts and uncles are all there, along with the grandparents. I have never had that, even when I was growing up. I grew up without any local family either, and I thought it was lonely, even when I was a child. Due to various reasons including distance and dysfunctionality, and also the fact that the in-laws do not celebrate any holiday and don't want to join us, we have never had that and will never had the big family holiday gatherings. It makes me incredibly sad.

We've tried to create a family of choice but this is very challenging. Everyone already has their friends/family already. Everyone I meet here already has at least one set of relatives/grandparents here and they spend holidays with them. We are the only ones in our social circle who doesn't see family for holidays (again due to distance first of all but also dynfuctionality and disinterested relatives).

While it's fine to spend the occasional holiday alone with just our little family, we spend every holiday alone (and have for the last 15 years). I am in therapy over this issue, but it's hard to accept that we're very much on our own with no family support on either side, not just at holiday time but all the time.

Anonymous wrote:Why are people such jerks? Stop piling on OP as not being "alone". She feels that way and her feelings are valid.

God, some of you are such miserable, nasty people.

Anonymous wrote:Why are people such jerks? Stop piling on OP as not being "alone". She feels that way and her feelings are valid.

God, some of you are such miserable, nasty people.