Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 16:33     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.



Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.


there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.


What a narrow mindset. If you’ve never lived with friends, how would you even know? And “success” - what does that have to do with it? Many people have lived with roommates and been successful, so that’s not really part of the equation. I hope your not singularly focused on success that you miss out on living with roommates or even alone!
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 16:33     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's an expensive area.

I would say he is ready to move out when he brings partners home to sleep with him.

He's 24, I hope that's already happened.


Not when you are living at home; I was not allowed to have any potential partner over when I was living in my parents house and no one was allowed to spend the night. And, yes, a virgin at 24. It's one of the reasons I moved out even though my parent's fought me to stay. So who knows?


Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 16:28     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:It's an expensive area.

I would say he is ready to move out when he brings partners home to sleep with him.

He's 24, I hope that's already happened.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 16:26     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
It's an expensive area.

I would say he is ready to move out when he brings partners home to sleep with him.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 16:01     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son is also 24. He graduated from college in Dec 2019 and we suggested he live at home for a year and see where his social life was compared to his job. Plus, he could save some money. We said he could if he put $3k a month into a savings plan- over and above the 15% he is putting into his 401k. Covid hit and he is still living at home. He works here too as and not had much of a social life since Covid. We have set next June as a target date for moving out. He is still working from home, but I expect that to change in Jan. A bonus of Covid for him is that he has saved more than the $3k month. He just got a promotion and last Jan started a Masters through his employer - online first as a result of Covid. So, he should be set.

I am glad he did not have an apartment from the get go because he would be alone in it and working from home alone.




Do your neighbors know how old he is? The main reason I want him to move out is because I just don't know what our neighbors are thinking.... I am pretty sure they are asking himself why is Andy still living at home when he graduated college etc...


So let them wonder. They are probably also thinking why you can't lose a few pounds, why you did not buy a better car or whether your husband is cheating on you. Are you going to worry about that too?


NP I guess it depends on your neighbors. I don’t really wonder anything about my neighbors. I don’t give them more than a passing thought, certainly never wonder about weight loss or affairs. My neighbors actually did have a son (early 20s) living with them and I truly never considered it.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 15:52     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son is also 24. He graduated from college in Dec 2019 and we suggested he live at home for a year and see where his social life was compared to his job. Plus, he could save some money. We said he could if he put $3k a month into a savings plan- over and above the 15% he is putting into his 401k. Covid hit and he is still living at home. He works here too as and not had much of a social life since Covid. We have set next June as a target date for moving out. He is still working from home, but I expect that to change in Jan. A bonus of Covid for him is that he has saved more than the $3k month. He just got a promotion and last Jan started a Masters through his employer - online first as a result of Covid. So, he should be set.

I am glad he did not have an apartment from the get go because he would be alone in it and working from home alone.




Do your neighbors know how old he is? The main reason I want him to move out is because I just don't know what our neighbors are thinking.... I am pretty sure they are asking himself why is Andy still living at home when he graduated college etc...


So let them wonder. They are probably also thinking why you can't lose a few pounds, why you did not buy a better car or whether your husband is cheating on you. Are you going to worry about that too?
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 15:52     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.



Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.


there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.


It makes you grow up and learn independence. I would not want my kid's first experience of living independently to be at marriage.


+100. I think this is so important. And what happens if your child doesn’t get married until their early or mid 30s (or never!). At some point, people need to grow up and carve out a life for themselves, apart from their family of origin.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 15:40     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.



Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.


there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.


It makes you grow up and learn independence. I would not want my kid's first experience of living independently to be at marriage.


because you are stupid. I moved to a different continent at 23. I know what independence is and some living with roommates ain’t it.


Np but I disagree. You don’t you have to move to a new country to learn independence. I agree with pp, I want my kids to experience living on their own before they got married. Learning to pay your own rent, budget for your needs and also have a space that’s all your own is a great thing to experience.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:48     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.



Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.


there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.


It makes you grow up and learn independence. I would not want my kid's first experience of living independently to be at marriage.


because you are stupid. I moved to a different continent at 23. I know what independence is and some living with roommates ain’t it.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:47     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Think back to your 20 something self and ask if you would date a guy that age that lives with his parents. That's the age at which he should move out.



I distinctly remember, twenty-plus years ago, meeting a cute guy at a picnic, learning that he lived at home with his parents, and thinking... ummm... no. Hard pass.


That's such a stupid reason to give up on person. maybe he was saving money to buy his first home.


And maybe he was used to mom cooking and doing the laundry and cleaning his room
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:46     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had to live with mine until I got married at 30. My sister is a PA and still lives with them at 32 so she can pay back her loans. DC is SO expensive, there was no way I could have made it without living with my parents, and I’m super grateful they let me.


Do you think your neighbors thought anything bad of you or your parents?


listen to this independent person who bravely moves from their parents’ home but is still trembles at the thought of omg what are the neighbors going to think. failure to launch, indeed.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:46     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.



Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.


there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.


It makes you grow up and learn independence. I would not want my kid's first experience of living independently to be at marriage.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:45     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Think back to your 20 something self and ask if you would date a guy that age that lives with his parents. That's the age at which he should move out.



I distinctly remember, twenty-plus years ago, meeting a cute guy at a picnic, learning that he lived at home with his parents, and thinking... ummm... no. Hard pass.


That's such a stupid reason to give up on person. maybe he was saving money to buy his first home.


A lot of American women are very stupid.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:44     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.



Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.


there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:34     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had to live with mine until I got married at 30. My sister is a PA and still lives with them at 32 so she can pay back her loans. DC is SO expensive, there was no way I could have made it without living with my parents, and I’m super grateful they let me.


Do you think your neighbors thought anything bad of you or your parents?

literally who cares