Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is at least one daycare badger on this board that claims to have worked at a well-respected daycare with horror stories.

Of course there are bad daycares, and there are bad nannies. And there are wonderful examples of both, too.

Stop trying to guilt people who make different parenting decisions than you, and stop taking their choices as a reflection of your choices. It’s so toxic.

I’m not the daycare-badger. But has anyone worked in a daycare who then sent their kids to daycare?

Anonymous wrote:There is at least one daycare badger on this board that claims to have worked at a well-respected daycare with horror stories.

Of course there are bad daycares, and there are bad nannies. And there are wonderful examples of both, too.

Stop trying to guilt people who make different parenting decisions than you, and stop taking their choices as a reflection of your choices. It’s so toxic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im OP. My kids are 1 and 3.

We have been through a few nannies that we liked, but weren't as covid safe as the daycare we are in (older DD was there pre pandemic). My kids were getting no social time because we didnt know if the random park friends were on our risk level/vaccinated etc.

I feel guilt that im not there with them. Mostly with my 1yo. 3yo is in love with the place!!! But my 1yo... I just see her toddling around there and feel like I have abandoned her. It just feels so wrong. I honestly want to cry just thinking about it

Geez, how is it possible to be so covid unsafe that daycare is safer?! That simply isn’t possible, OP. And you don’t know if outdoor park friends share your covid risk level but you trust the parents and families of every kid in indoor daycare and every teacher and their families ?!!

You’re definitely feeling guilty about something, OP. But no one can help you if you aren’t honest.

OP here. If I'm not honest? Are you kidding me?

Our daycare center has been as covid safe as is humanly possible. All teachers are vaccinated. It's a small center, I know most of the parents and know that they too are vaccinated. Ou nanny was lovely but some people have reasons not to want a nanny/au pair/etc in their home. Some people, myself included, prefer the accountability of a daycare vs 1:1 with someone who has total control over the kids. This has nothing to do with honesty and everything to do with not needing to give you every reason behind our family's decisions.

I suffered from PPA and am speaking to a therapist about my guilt dropping off our daughter. I don't feel guilt about my older daughter anymore because she loves daycare and communicates about it with me. At first yes i DID Feel awful about her going there.

I’m hearing “daycare is cheaper”. Sorry, OP. NP here and I’m not buying it either.

Why? I’m not OP but I felt exactly the same way. I just couldn’t trust one person that much. Absolutely fine if you could but not everyone feels that way. I don’t really think daycare was cheaper once we had two there either…

My kids had good and bad periods at daycare. Bizarrely the first two years were great and then some developmental difficulties showed up for the older that made certain parts of organized care not right for her. We had to switch to a different program and while we were figuring that out it was *awful*. I came very close to quitting. That kid is now doing great in elementary school and hope is ok despite some challenges.

But I felt some guilt even when things were going well. I would love to have been home the first year with each kid and tried to make their days as short as possible. Idk I wish there were more options since I win a field that doesn’t look kindly on extended time out of the workforce.

That makes no sense to me! You trust strangers in a daycare that you didn’t even background check who make minimum wage and have two other babies to care for but not one vetted nanny who will truly love your child?

I will never understand this rationalization. Especially after working in daycare. We were all well meaning and kind women but the kids meant very little to us (although we pretended they did for the parents) and we all got out of there within a couple years. Two of the teachers I worked with were hung over every Monday and one got high in her car every lunch. This was a well respected daycare, too.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t say I can relate. I love dropping my kid off at daycare! But I’m also a single mom and I NEED A BREAK.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im OP. My kids are 1 and 3.

We have been through a few nannies that we liked, but weren't as covid safe as the daycare we are in (older DD was there pre pandemic). My kids were getting no social time because we didnt know if the random park friends were on our risk level/vaccinated etc.

I feel guilt that im not there with them. Mostly with my 1yo. 3yo is in love with the place!!! But my 1yo... I just see her toddling around there and feel like I have abandoned her. It just feels so wrong. I honestly want to cry just thinking about it

Geez, how is it possible to be so covid unsafe that daycare is safer?! That simply isn’t possible, OP. And you don’t know if outdoor park friends share your covid risk level but you trust the parents and families of every kid in indoor daycare and every teacher and their families ?!!

You’re definitely feeling guilty about something, OP. But no one can help you if you aren’t honest.

OP here. If I'm not honest? Are you kidding me?

Our daycare center has been as covid safe as is humanly possible. All teachers are vaccinated. It's a small center, I know most of the parents and know that they too are vaccinated. Ou nanny was lovely but some people have reasons not to want a nanny/au pair/etc in their home. Some people, myself included, prefer the accountability of a daycare vs 1:1 with someone who has total control over the kids. This has nothing to do with honesty and everything to do with not needing to give you every reason behind our family's decisions.

I suffered from PPA and am speaking to a therapist about my guilt dropping off our daughter. I don't feel guilt about my older daughter anymore because she loves daycare and communicates about it with me. At first yes i DID Feel awful about her going there.

I’m hearing “daycare is cheaper”. Sorry, OP. NP here and I’m not buying it either.

Why? I’m not OP but I felt exactly the same way. I just couldn’t trust one person that much. Absolutely fine if you could but not everyone feels that way. I don’t really think daycare was cheaper once we had two there either…

My kids had good and bad periods at daycare. Bizarrely the first two years were great and then some developmental difficulties showed up for the older that made certain parts of organized care not right for her. We had to switch to a different program and while we were figuring that out it was *awful*. I came very close to quitting. That kid is now doing great in elementary school and hope is ok despite some challenges.

But I felt some guilt even when things were going well. I would love to have been home the first year with each kid and tried to make their days as short as possible. Idk I wish there were more options since I win a field that doesn’t look kindly on extended time out of the workforce.

That makes no sense to me! You trust strangers in a daycare that you didn’t even background check who make minimum wage and have two other babies to care for but not one vetted nanny who will truly love your child?

I will never understand this rationalization. Especially after working in daycare. We were all well meaning and kind women but the kids meant very little to us (although we pretended they did for the parents) and we all got out of there within a couple years. Two of the teachers I worked with were hung over every Monday and one got high in her car every lunch. This was a well respected daycare, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im OP. My kids are 1 and 3.

We have been through a few nannies that we liked, but weren't as covid safe as the daycare we are in (older DD was there pre pandemic). My kids were getting no social time because we didnt know if the random park friends were on our risk level/vaccinated etc.

I feel guilt that im not there with them. Mostly with my 1yo. 3yo is in love with the place!!! But my 1yo... I just see her toddling around there and feel like I have abandoned her. It just feels so wrong. I honestly want to cry just thinking about it

Geez, how is it possible to be so covid unsafe that daycare is safer?! That simply isn’t possible, OP. And you don’t know if outdoor park friends share your covid risk level but you trust the parents and families of every kid in indoor daycare and every teacher and their families ?!!

You’re definitely feeling guilty about something, OP. But no one can help you if you aren’t honest.

OP here. If I'm not honest? Are you kidding me?

Our daycare center has been as covid safe as is humanly possible. All teachers are vaccinated. It's a small center, I know most of the parents and know that they too are vaccinated. Ou nanny was lovely but some people have reasons not to want a nanny/au pair/etc in their home. Some people, myself included, prefer the accountability of a daycare vs 1:1 with someone who has total control over the kids. This has nothing to do with honesty and everything to do with not needing to give you every reason behind our family's decisions.

I suffered from PPA and am speaking to a therapist about my guilt dropping off our daughter. I don't feel guilt about my older daughter anymore because she loves daycare and communicates about it with me. At first yes i DID Feel awful about her going there.

I’m hearing “daycare is cheaper”. Sorry, OP. NP here and I’m not buying it either.

Why? I’m not OP but I felt exactly the same way. I just couldn’t trust one person that much. Absolutely fine if you could but not everyone feels that way. I don’t really think daycare was cheaper once we had two there either…

My kids had good and bad periods at daycare. Bizarrely the first two years were great and then some developmental difficulties showed up for the older that made certain parts of organized care not right for her. We had to switch to a different program and while we were figuring that out it was *awful*. I came very close to quitting. That kid is now doing great in elementary school and hope is ok despite some challenges.

But I felt some guilt even when things were going well. I would love to have been home the first year with each kid and tried to make their days as short as possible. Idk I wish there were more options since I win a field that doesn’t look kindly on extended time out of the workforce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im OP. My kids are 1 and 3.

We have been through a few nannies that we liked, but weren't as covid safe as the daycare we are in (older DD was there pre pandemic). My kids were getting no social time because we didnt know if the random park friends were on our risk level/vaccinated etc.

I feel guilt that im not there with them. Mostly with my 1yo. 3yo is in love with the place!!! But my 1yo... I just see her toddling around there and feel like I have abandoned her. It just feels so wrong. I honestly want to cry just thinking about it

Geez, how is it possible to be so covid unsafe that daycare is safer?! That simply isn’t possible, OP. And you don’t know if outdoor park friends share your covid risk level but you trust the parents and families of every kid in indoor daycare and every teacher and their families ?!!

You’re definitely feeling guilty about something, OP. But no one can help you if you aren’t honest.

OP here. If I'm not honest? Are you kidding me?

Our daycare center has been as covid safe as is humanly possible. All teachers are vaccinated. It's a small center, I know most of the parents and know that they too are vaccinated. Ou nanny was lovely but some people have reasons not to want a nanny/au pair/etc in their home. Some people, myself included, prefer the accountability of a daycare vs 1:1 with someone who has total control over the kids. This has nothing to do with honesty and everything to do with not needing to give you every reason behind our family's decisions.

I suffered from PPA and am speaking to a therapist about my guilt dropping off our daughter. I don't feel guilt about my older daughter anymore because she loves daycare and communicates about it with me. At first yes i DID Feel awful about her going there.

I’m hearing “daycare is cheaper”. Sorry, OP. NP here and I’m not buying it either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im OP. My kids are 1 and 3.

We have been through a few nannies that we liked, but weren't as covid safe as the daycare we are in (older DD was there pre pandemic). My kids were getting no social time because we didnt know if the random park friends were on our risk level/vaccinated etc.

I feel guilt that im not there with them. Mostly with my 1yo. 3yo is in love with the place!!! But my 1yo... I just see her toddling around there and feel like I have abandoned her. It just feels so wrong. I honestly want to cry just thinking about it

Geez, how is it possible to be so covid unsafe that daycare is safer?! That simply isn’t possible, OP. And you don’t know if outdoor park friends share your covid risk level but you trust the parents and families of every kid in indoor daycare and every teacher and their families ?!!

You’re definitely feeling guilty about something, OP. But no one can help you if you aren’t honest.

OP here. If I'm not honest? Are you kidding me?

Our daycare center has been as covid safe as is humanly possible. All teachers are vaccinated. It's a small center, I know most of the parents and know that they too are vaccinated. Ou nanny was lovely but some people have reasons not to want a nanny/au pair/etc in their home. Some people, myself included, prefer the accountability of a daycare vs 1:1 with someone who has total control over the kids. This has nothing to do with honesty and everything to do with not needing to give you every reason behind our family's decisions.

I suffered from PPA and am speaking to a therapist about my guilt dropping off our daughter. I don't feel guilt about my older daughter anymore because she loves daycare and communicates about it with me. At first yes i DID Feel awful about her going there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im OP. My kids are 1 and 3.

We have been through a few nannies that we liked, but weren't as covid safe as the daycare we are in (older DD was there pre pandemic). My kids were getting no social time because we didnt know if the random park friends were on our risk level/vaccinated etc.

I feel guilt that im not there with them. Mostly with my 1yo. 3yo is in love with the place!!! But my 1yo... I just see her toddling around there and feel like I have abandoned her. It just feels so wrong. I honestly want to cry just thinking about it

Geez, how is it possible to be so covid unsafe that daycare is safer?! That simply isn’t possible, OP. And you don’t know if outdoor park friends share your covid risk level but you trust the parents and families of every kid in indoor daycare and every teacher and their families ?!!

You’re definitely feeling guilty about something, OP. But no one can help you if you aren’t honest.

OP here. If I'm not honest? Are you kidding me?

Our daycare center has been as covid safe as is humanly possible. All teachers are vaccinated. It's a small center, I know most of the parents and know that they too are vaccinated. Ou nanny was lovely but some people have reasons not to want a nanny/au pair/etc in their home. Some people, myself included, prefer the accountability of a daycare vs 1:1 with someone who has total control over the kids. This has nothing to do with honesty and everything to do with not needing to give you every reason behind our family's decisions.

I suffered from PPA and am speaking to a therapist about my guilt dropping off our daughter. I don't feel guilt about my older daughter anymore because she loves daycare and communicates about it with me. At first yes i DID Feel awful about her going there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Revisit the nanny thing. Especially if you have WFH flexibility. Or, if you can afford it and inclined to do so, take a break from work for a couple of years. I’m a happy WOHM (with nanny) and always have been, but if I felt like you I would quit in an instant and DH would be fully on board. Life’s too short and kids are too important.

I appreciate this perspective, thank you. I know that being a FTM is not for me. I stayed home with my daughter at first and I became extremely irritable and unfulfilled. I adore my kids and we spend a lot of great quality time together. I just need an out-of-home child care for some balance.

Anonymous wrote:Revisit the nanny thing. Especially if you have WFH flexibility. Or, if you can afford it and inclined to do so, take a break from work for a couple of years. I’m a happy WOHM (with nanny) and always have been, but if I felt like you I would quit in an instant and DH would be fully on board. Life’s too short and kids are too important.