Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 09:14     Subject: Re:DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
I have 2 step DD's my DD is now 6. I didn't tell them either. More because DH's ex is crazy and would have caused me unnecessary issues. My womb my business. They eventually got over it. And even if they didn't I don't care.
The age gap was too big for any meaningful relationship. Your DD probably thinks she will loose out financially now. Stop taking it out on a baby and get it together


You are beyond horrible and not only do your step DDs think so but someday your DD will think so, too. And your DH is an axxhole and sh!tty dad for going along with your plan.


Its not horrible. We didn't say anything either. Ex-wife refused visits despite us buying a plane ticket for each and every court ordered visit but she wouldn't send them. We didn't want the drama so we didn't say anything till baby was home. One of the kids eventually came to visit. But, at some point, they were late teens/adults and enough was enough.

OP daughter Dad was replaced by her husband. OP never let daughter visit in Dad's home and Dad always had to come there. That is not a relationship. OP sounds fully of drama.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 09:12     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When is the last time your DD saw her father? If it was long enough ago that she didn't see step-mom pregnant, that's why DD is unnerved. Her dad has a new baby that gets all of him, and she hasn't seen him in X months.




Before the pandemic started. Usually she saw him over breaks as the lives on the west coast. He would fly here and she would visit. We divorced when she was young so my current DH has been someone she saw on a daily basis


Thats too long without a visit. Way too long. She's 16 and should have, at a MINIMUM, been flown out for a visit as soon as she was vaccinated (which should have been months ago now). My son, whose father is in a different state, has continued visitation throughout the pandemic.

She's not angry about the baby. She's angry that her dad hasn't insisted on seeing her.


Read the post. DD isn't allowed to visit Dad. Dad has to always be the one visiting and its only been a visit vs. actual time with Dad. Mom blocked the relationship, Dad gave up.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 09:11     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When is the last time your DD saw her father? If it was long enough ago that she didn't see step-mom pregnant, that's why DD is unnerved. Her dad has a new baby that gets all of him, and she hasn't seen him in X months.




Before the pandemic started. Usually she saw him over breaks as the lives on the west coast. He would fly here and she would visit. We divorced when she was young so my current DH has been someone she saw on a daily basis


OP you are the problem. DD should have been flying out for all long holidays and summers to spend time with her dad. You only allowing visits in your home made them superficial. You set up this situation and now you are upset that Dad moved on since you never allowed DD to visit in his home. You replaced her dad with your DH. You got what you set up and wanted so leave them alone.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 09:09     Subject: Re:DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They didn’t tell her all the way up to the birth? Surprise, we had a baby?

I’d be pissed too. Not shocking she’s taking it out by ignoring the baby, but she’ll probably come around. It’s just so new. Hopefully you’re validating her feelings that it was wrong for her dad and stepmom to keep it from her, because it was.


OP here yes they video called from the hospital and said here's your sister oh and we got married. My DD hasn't been all that close to her dad ever. They get along just fine but it's more of a let's do fun things rather than have a deep meaningful relationship.


DD is not part of their life from this post. They have a superficial relationship, probably per your choosing so stop complaining. You got remarried and had another kid and are playing happy family. So, you got your happy family without your ex so leave them alone. It sounds like DD was not visiting and you used covid as an excuse or she would have know about the pregnancy.

Leave them alone already. If you don't want them to have a relationship, no need to hassle them.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 09:03     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When is the last time your DD saw her father? If it was long enough ago that she didn't see step-mom pregnant, that's why DD is unnerved. Her dad has a new baby that gets all of him, and she hasn't seen him in X months.




Before the pandemic started. Usually she saw him over breaks as the lives on the west coast. He would fly here and she would visit. We divorced when she was young so my current DH has been someone she saw on a daily basis


Thats too long without a visit. Way too long. She's 16 and should have, at a MINIMUM, been flown out for a visit as soon as she was vaccinated (which should have been months ago now). My son, whose father is in a different state, has continued visitation throughout the pandemic.

She's not angry about the baby. She's angry that her dad hasn't insisted on seeing her.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 08:50     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:When is the last time your DD saw her father? If it was long enough ago that she didn't see step-mom pregnant, that's why DD is unnerved. Her dad has a new baby that gets all of him, and she hasn't seen him in X months.




Before the pandemic started. Usually she saw him over breaks as the lives on the west coast. He would fly here and she would visit. We divorced when she was young so my current DH has been someone she saw on a daily basis
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 08:48     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
When is the last time your DD saw her father? If it was long enough ago that she didn't see step-mom pregnant, that's why DD is unnerved. Her dad has a new baby that gets all of him, and she hasn't seen him in X months.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 08:46     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:what's your question?


How best to approach my DD about this? Should I talk to her or let her be?
This isn't a post to put anyone in a bad light.


Tell her not to bite the hand that feeds her, because her stepmother holds ALL the cards. She is the wife now. I'd beware and play nice. Plus, while it may seem yuck now, many years from now, when your daughter is 46 and her sister is 30, they might be glad to have each other.


OP here ..what do you mean holds all the cards?


Her father can leave everything to his new wife and leave your 16 year old zero. Like mine did.



OP here my DD did ask for him for 3000 dollars for driving school and he refused. Told her to use the cash he has put in her savings account. Birthday money has gone from 500 to 200 dollars. So he is being mean.
Or strapped. She doesn't need $3k for driving school. You can easily teach her.

OP here she was just used to daddy spoiling her and know he is saying no. It's not very nice for her
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 08:45     Subject: Re:DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
I have 2 step DD's my DD is now 6. I didn't tell them either. More because DH's ex is crazy and would have caused me unnecessary issues. My womb my business. They eventually got over it. And even if they didn't I don't care.
The age gap was too big for any meaningful relationship. Your DD probably thinks she will loose out financially now. Stop taking it out on a baby and get it together


You are beyond horrible and not only do your step DDs think so but someday your DD will think so, too. And your DH is an axxhole and sh!tty dad for going along with

Don't see why step children should hold all the power.

Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 08:10     Subject: Re:DD dislikes Half sister
I have 2 step DD's my DD is now 6. I didn't tell them either. More because DH's ex is crazy and would have caused me unnecessary issues. My womb my business. They eventually got over it. And even if they didn't I don't care.
The age gap was too big for any meaningful relationship. Your DD probably thinks she will loose out financially now. Stop taking it out on a baby and get it together


You are beyond horrible and not only do your step DDs think so but someday your DD will think so, too. And your DH is an axxhole and sh!tty dad for going along with your plan.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 08:09     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:what's your question?


How best to approach my DD about this? Should I talk to her or let her be?
This isn't a post to put anyone in a bad light.


Tell her not to bite the hand that feeds her, because her stepmother holds ALL the cards. She is the wife now. I'd beware and play nice. Plus, while it may seem yuck now, many years from now, when your daughter is 46 and her sister is 30, they might be glad to have each other.


OP here ..what do you mean holds all the cards?


Her father can leave everything to his new wife and leave your 16 year old zero. Like mine did.



OP here my DD did ask for him for 3000 dollars for driving school and he refused. Told her to use the cash he has put in her savings account. Birthday money has gone from 500 to 200 dollars. So he is being mean.
Or strapped. She doesn't need $3k for driving school. You can easily teach her.

Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 08:03     Subject: Re:DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:I would consider finding a therapist for your DD to talk to. Her dad is really doing a number on her and she’s understandably really angry out it. Having a neutral third party to talk to might help her cope with those emotions in a healthy way.


This. From her perspective she was betrayed. Surprise marriage and baby is huge. It probably piles on to not being able to see her father for such a long period of time.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 07:09     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:This is 100% your ex's fault and frankly his GF/wife should have demonstrated more emotional awareness.

It is not hard to send a text that says "Hey, I need to talk to you. Please give me a call."

It's also not hard for him to email YOU and say "Hey, I need to talk to Larla about something important. Can you ask her to call me?"

But I'm actually over here trying to do the math on your story. You and your ex have a two year old, so a 14 year age gap with the teen from this story.

In two years, your ex has had time to move out of state and then meet, impregnante, and marry someone else? Maybe the baby isn't the only issue here.


No, OP and her current DH have a 2 yo.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 07:02     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
This is 100% your ex's fault and frankly his GF/wife should have demonstrated more emotional awareness.

It is not hard to send a text that says "Hey, I need to talk to you. Please give me a call."

It's also not hard for him to email YOU and say "Hey, I need to talk to Larla about something important. Can you ask her to call me?"

But I'm actually over here trying to do the math on your story. You and your ex have a two year old, so a 14 year age gap with the teen from this story.

In two years, your ex has had time to move out of state and then meet, impregnante, and marry someone else? Maybe the baby isn't the only issue here.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2021 06:58     Subject: DD dislikes Half sister
Anonymous wrote:I have 2 step DD's my DD is now 6. I didn't tell them either. More because DH's ex is crazy and would have caused me unnecessary issues. My womb my business. They eventually got over it. And even if they didn't I don't care.
The age gap was too big for any meaningful relationship. Your DD probably thinks she will loose out financially now. Stop taking it out on a baby and get it together

Wow, it sounds like your husband has a habit of marrying crazy.