Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had none, but was happy my wife (who I met in law school) wanted to be a SAHM, so it worked out perfectly.

Why in the world did your wife go to law school if her goal was SAHM? just to meet a husband?

This seems to be a thing amongst people I went to college with. I can rattle off a dozen or more women I know who went to law, medical, dental etc. school (some even doing an expensive post bacc to get into medical programs) who immediately after getting married and/or having a baby quit and never looked back. Maybe these men won't marry them without professional degrees even if they don't use them.

This is a thing, especially among certain cultures. I once dated a doctor, who was somewhat impressed by my law degree from a top school, but kept asking me if I would ever consider going back to practicing law (I work in a field where a JD is useful, but I don't practice, and I definitely don't make a lot of money). It was totally a status thing for him. He would not in a million years have married a barista or anyone without a graduate degree. The woman he's now married to has a JD from a crappy school and works as a... dating and relationship coach. Which always makes me laugh. What is her advice, marry a snobby, status-obsessed ahole?

No salary requirement but smart women were always a turn on for me. Most smart women have ambition that can be manifested in many ways that doesn’t relate to a high salary. Salary was pretty far down on the attribute list given I grew up very MC and I was sure I could accomplish that on my own. Really enjoying sex was well above salary on the attribute list!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$1M plus equity and carry
Lots of $250k board seats
Flexible job with 3 day weekends in the summer
Excellent multitasking skills to manage the house, staff, kids, me
Sexy, fit, kind, forgiving, great parent
Saved money from bonuses, etc. over the years.

You sound the worst, pp. Your dream woman would be better off with someone else!

Don’t you understand sarcasm?

Anonymous wrote:law schools give out scholarships? is it pretty common?

No. Not that common. I went to a lower ranked school than I could have attended so that it would be free. My law school was T25 but not T10.

Anonymous wrote:According to DCUM, the sweet spot would be a totally flexible, WFH, 30 hour a week job with excellent retirement and benefits that pays 200k a year.

I wouldn’t marry a guy that WFH. I like my alone time and having someone always home would be annoying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had none, but was happy my wife (who I met in law school) wanted to be a SAHM, so it worked out perfectly.

Why in the world did your wife go to law school if her goal was SAHM? just to meet a husband?

I was going to ask the same thing. That's a lot of money down the drain!

Because she is interested in the law and planned to be a lawyer of some sort. Then when we had kids, she didn't want to go back to work and leave them in daycare or with a nanny, and she felt like it was more important to be the primary caregiver of the kids.

that's what she told you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife doesn’t work but was valedictorian of her high school (toughest in her state) and had very good grades from a very competitive undergrad. She’s always been more conscientious than competitive though and did not want to go through the law / medicine grind, which is great because it saved on tuition and she earned money working during that time and got work experience for her resume later. I did the grind for both of us.

Super smart and a great mom (and happy to dedicate a lot of time to our three children). I’m very lucky and it works great for our family.

I mention this to clarify the assortative mating point. It’s real and it works, but what men are looking for in women and what women are looking for in men are not the same thing.

What do men look for in women

Women are more likely to want a man that is ambitious because it signals he will be a good provider. Mediocre intellect & MBA > PhD in quixotic field.

Men do want smart women but care far less about ambition. A little bit is fine but too much isn’t great. Someone who is smart but also thoughtful and compassionate will be better with the kids.

Yin and Yang and all that. In theory naturally ambitious women could solve for this problem by marrying laid back men and I have no problem with that but from reading this forum that doesn’t seem to work. But as a naturally ambitious man I am fine to both work hard and be active with my kid but my life is way easier with an ally than a competitor who is going to yell at me if I don’t do exactly 50% of the laundry folding. I’m return I’ve earned easily 90%+ of our total income since we’ve been together (plus chores like lawn mowing, dishwashing and lots of kid time, esp. on weekends) so I’m delivering in return.

Anonymous wrote:My wife doesn’t work but was valedictorian of her high school (toughest in her state) and had very good grades from a very competitive undergrad. She’s always been more conscientious than competitive though and did not want to go through the law / medicine grind, which is great because it saved on tuition and she earned money working during that time and got work experience for her resume later. I did the grind for both of us.

Super smart and a great mom (and happy to dedicate a lot of time to our three children). I’m very lucky and it works great for our family.

I mention this to clarify the assortative mating point. It’s real and it works, but what men are looking for in women and what women are looking for in men are not the same thing.

What do men look for in women

Anonymous wrote:A well-off man doesn't care how much money a woman makes. He's not in it for the money. He has his own already. He doesn't need yours. That's why a well-off man will take the barista with the associates degree over the woman with two masters degrees. What else do you bring to the table in terms of a friendly, cooperative personality and good looks? Men don't change.

You post this all the time but it’s not true. There are vanishingly few baristas married to wealthy men. Women with a “friendly cooperative personality” and good looks are just as common in trailer parks as D.C law offices (maybe more so!) but much less likely to be married to wealthy men.

My wife doesn’t work but was valedictorian of her high school (toughest in her state) and had very good grades from a very competitive undergrad. She’s always been more conscientious than competitive though and did not want to go through the law / medicine grind, which is great because it saved on tuition and she earned money working during that time and got work experience for her resume later. I did the grind for both of us.

Super smart and a great mom (and happy to dedicate a lot of time to our three children). I’m very lucky and it works great for our family.

I mention this to clarify the assortative mating point. It’s real and it works, but what men are looking for in women and what women are looking for in men are not the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Salary wasn’t a requirement but brains and ambition were. If she wanted to be the best special Ed teacher I would have been fine. I was confident in my own ability to make enough money to live comfortably. Plenty of other things were more important then her salary.

Another smart man who wants a partner in their marriage.

Sounds misogynist. Oh I will take care of the pretty lady. She can be a teacher and take care of the kids while I work are real job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$1M plus equity and carry
Lots of $250k board seats
Flexible job with 3 day weekends in the summer
Excellent multitasking skills to manage the house, staff, kids, me
Sexy, fit, kind, forgiving, great parent
Saved money from bonuses, etc. over the years.

You sound the worst, pp. Your dream woman would be better off with someone else!

I am amazed at how many women are offended at this post that was clearly a joke. "Lots of $250k board seats"? Come on folks. But not really the same reaction on the thread about women's salary requirements....

Anonymous wrote:$1M plus equity and carry
Lots of $250k board seats
Flexible job with 3 day weekends in the summer
Excellent multitasking skills to manage the house, staff, kids, me
Sexy, fit, kind, forgiving, great parent
Saved money from bonuses, etc. over the years.

You sound the worst, pp. Your dream woman would be better off with someone else!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was always attracted to very smart women and salary was irrelevant. I had a great education and I was ambitious so I figured I’d always be fine. So I ended up marrying a very smart woman and that was all that mattered. She did have a good career and that was a bonus.

+1

I don’t care how hot a woman is. If she’s dumb and/or lacking ambition I’m highly turned off.

My wife was a seriously hot, smart, funny scientist with great credit, a great job and no debt when we met in our mid 20s.

If she were just seriously hot I wouldn’t have experienced the animal attraction I had for her since the big brain (which humor/wit goes hand and hand with) was part of the package.

I get that posts like this are supposed to sound complimentary, but they always sound creepy.

So you prefer the men that just want a woman for her body/looks and no brains. Got it. Good luck with that.

No. Pretty illogical conclusion really. I just think it is creepy when anyone talks about their partner in a way that is so objectifying, as if he bagged some big game. Your partner is not an achievement. Of course I don't think men should only care about looks.

Anonymous wrote:Salary wasn’t a requirement but brains and ambition were. If she wanted to be the best special Ed teacher I would have been fine. I was confident in my own ability to make enough money to live comfortably. Plenty of other things were more important then her salary.

Another smart man who wants a partner in their marriage.