Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does her sleeping with anyone before you were in a relationship with her matter?

It's his best friend I get it.

+1 and OP even says it's not so much that it happened, but that she chose to keep it from him for more than a year. I'm a woman and I wouldn't like it either.

I totally agree, and the fact that she’s acting like he did something wrong by needing time to cool off is a big red flag to me. She should be acting like she’s ecstatic he’s even considering staying with her, not twisting it around and acting like she’s the one who’s been hurt and deceived. It’s hard but I think ending this is good for OP. I’m sorry this happened to OP. Hugs and move on to find a better girl.

Did OP tell her every person he has slept with?

He should have it they were all her best friends…

Op, your gf and friend were wrong to agree to keep this quiet. That agreement was a betrayal, even if her motivation might be understandable emotionally. I also think her moving out because you needed space us a red flag as yo how you guys communicate - it’s very immature.

I don’t even understand how a comment about sleeping with a friend would’ve come up in the first place. Seems oddly coincidental. OP’s girlfriend made the wrong choice to hide it, but an understandable one, of everything else in the relationship is solid.

They conspired together not to tell him and there is a deeper connection there whether it’s physical or emotional or both and I see that as a betrayal on both of their parts. OP too is immature and trying to save face, moving goal posts, butt hurt etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does her sleeping with anyone before you were in a relationship with her matter?

This. Who cares if it was before?

OP here. It doesn’t. I don’t care that they slept together. The issue I have is them not telling me and me looking like an idiot for a year.

DP. You’re not being honest here. The whole issue to begin with was that you didn’t want to date someone who had slept with a friend of yours. Now that you found out she slept with your friend before she met you, you’re moving the goalposts to pretend that if she had just been honest with you upfront, you would have been totally cool with it.

This. OP is very immature and somewhat controlling, but his girlfriend is also a bit childish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does her sleeping with anyone before you were in a relationship with her matter?

It's his best friend I get it.

+1 and OP even says it's not so much that it happened, but that she chose to keep it from him for more than a year. I'm a woman and I wouldn't like it either.

I totally agree, and the fact that she’s acting like he did something wrong by needing time to cool off is a big red flag to me. She should be acting like she’s ecstatic he’s even considering staying with her, not twisting it around and acting like she’s the one who’s been hurt and deceived. It’s hard but I think ending this is good for OP. I’m sorry this happened to OP. Hugs and move on to find a better girl.

Totally disagree. She may have some issues but this took place before they were even together, and he made the comment, not her.At what point was she supposed to feel secure enough to tell him something that would be a potential dealbreaker for him -- and which is, I might add, an irrational and unreasonable dealbreaker? No, she didn't tell you herself which would have been better. But, her response was honest and truthful. OP should have accepted her remorse. She probably moved out out of shame, as she like him seems somewhat immature. You need to apologize for your part OP, and decide if you want to continue, but you both may be too immature for each other.

I think she was in a tough spot. She liked you and you said you didn’t want to be with someone who had slept with your friend, so she kept quiet. So you need to decide, can you get over this or not? If not just end it now, it’s not really fair to keep dating someone if you are going to keep holding this against her. I don’t think what she did was necessarily right, but I can understand why it happened given that comment you made.
How old are you OP? You sound young.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People blaming this on OP are sexist. It just goes to show how much of a pass women get in this world. OP did not wrong. His gf is a liar who purposely hid sleeping with his friend and then demands he respond to the situation the way she wants him too. She sounds like a manipulative jerk. OP move on and find someone else.

+1. If OP were a woman they would be telling her how terrible he is and she did the right thing. Women get a pass for almost everything. Women in this thread are hypocritical and hate men. They are all little immature brats who never admit a woman did wrong and do nothing but blame men.


OP, never post here. This thread is filled with women who feel they are above everyone else and get a pass for being a woman. Your gf is an entitled immature woman who doesn’t deserve you. I guarantee most women on here would flip if they found out their partner slept with their best friend and didn’t tell them. Instead they blame the men for all of their problems.

You are wrong. I don’t think gender makes a difference at all in this particular situation. I’m sorry that you were hurt but I hope you don’t continue to generalize your experience to all women.

Anonymous wrote:People blaming this on OP are sexist. It just goes to show how much of a pass women get in this world. OP did not wrong. His gf is a liar who purposely hid sleeping with his friend and then demands he respond to the situation the way she wants him too. She sounds like a manipulative jerk. OP move on and find someone else.

+1. If OP were a woman they would be telling her how terrible he is and she did the right thing. Women get a pass for almost everything. Women in this thread are hypocritical and hate men. They are all little immature brats who never admit a woman did wrong and do nothing but blame men.


OP, never post here. This thread is filled with women who feel they are above everyone else and get a pass for being a woman. Your gf is an entitled immature woman who doesn’t deserve you. I guarantee most women on here would flip if they found out their partner slept with their best friend and didn’t tell them. Instead they blame the men for all of their problems.

Anonymous wrote:The woman is never ever wrong brigade has found this thread... good luck to you OP. While you reacted poorly your expectation that your GF and best friend should have been upfront with you is not at all unreasonable.

They probably would have been honest much earlier if OP hadn’t already laid down a test they knew they couldn’t pass.

The woman is never ever wrong brigade has found this thread... good luck to you OP. While you reacted poorly your expectation that your GF and best friend should have been upfront with you is not at all unreasonable.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

I’m not really buying this story that you had no idea until just recently that they knew each other before you started dating her. I think you knew they’d met and were worried they had slept together because of your own insecurities and hang-ups, and you made that comment about not being able to date someone who slept with one of your friends to test/shame her. It’s too big of a coincidence otherwise, and who just makes a random comment to their girlfriend about not wanting to date someone who slept with your friend?

Now that the truth is out, your ego is bruised and your insecurities are all stirred up, so you lashed out at girlfriend for not telling you the truth earlier. This whole thing about how you would have been okay with it if she’d told you earlier? It’s a load of bull, but you have pretend it’s about her not telling you because otherwise you know she did nothing wrong by sleeping with him and you have no right to judge her for it.

So you played this game of going off in a huff to shame her again, figuring she would run after you and beg you to forgive her for being such a whore. Except she’s tired of your slut-shaming and mind games, and is ready to be done with you.

If you want a functional relationship next time, you need to grown up, own your shit, and figure out how to be an emotionally functional adult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does her sleeping with anyone before you were in a relationship with her matter?

This. Who cares if it was before?

OP here. It doesn’t. I don’t care that they slept together. The issue I have is them not telling me and me looking like an idiot for a year.

DP. You’re not being honest here. The whole issue to begin with was that you didn’t want to date someone who had slept with a friend of yours. Now that you found out she slept with your friend before she met you, you’re moving the goalposts to pretend that if she had just been honest with you upfront, you would have been totally cool with it.

+1 exactly

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does her sleeping with anyone before you were in a relationship with her matter?

This. Who cares if it was before?

OP here. It doesn’t. I don’t care that they slept together. The issue I have is them not telling me and me looking like an idiot for a year.

Yeah right. Now you know and are making a big deal of it. Of course they were not going to tell you. 1. It was before you met her. 2. They were single and did nothing wrong. 3. You do not have a right to know anyway. Grow up.

The girlfriend has found this thread. Another red flag.

Not the girlfriend. I am a mid-40s woman with kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does her sleeping with anyone before you were in a relationship with her matter?

This. Who cares if it was before?

OP here. It doesn’t. I don’t care that they slept together. The issue I have is them not telling me and me looking like an idiot for a year.

DP. You’re not being honest here. The whole issue to begin with was that you didn’t want to date someone who had slept with a friend of yours. Now that you found out she slept with your friend before she met you, you’re moving the goalposts to pretend that if she had just been honest with you upfront, you would have been totally cool with it.