Anonymous wrote:Why is there this idea that everyone needs to work? Let's have a Universal Basic Income and see how creative people become. and healthy. I bet it would be a second renaissance.

I think because there is a double standard. A man staying at home all day with no kids while his wife works wouldn’t necessarily be socially acceptable. If we were on a “why does everyone need to work”, that would mean it would apply to men and women equally.

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

Same. With one itty bitty caveat. If the husband is my co-worker, I don’t want to hear any guff from him about me being harried or having to take off (earned) leave to take care of home/kids based chores.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Did you ever consider that the SAH wives think YOU are and your work are boring?

I know a couple military wives who fall in this category.

Seems super weird to me but I figure I don’t know their story. I probably seem very lazy and flaky to some but I have a serious illness and I am doing my best, so I don’t judge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Is there really nothing to talk about? Books, movies, restaurants, kid stuff, etc. I can usually find something in common that is fun to talk about

+1 or whatever she does? Even if it’s just cooking and gardening or whatever. She does something.

My sister stays home, no kids. She cooks, cleans, does house projects, gardens or crafts. Together, they do some outdoor stuff (stand up paddle boards, geocache, hike). She does have some mental health struggles, and while it is not impossible for her to work, she has struggled quite a lot in the past. Her husband is not super rich (trades person, LCOL), but he seems 100% happy in the relationship, so good for them.

Yeah, she's at risk if they were to divorce, but she was basically at risk for financial issues her whole life due to her mental health issues. She's in therapy too.

So what does she say when people ask her “What do you do?”

I have no idea. I’ve never asked and I don’t live close enough such that I am in social situation with her to see it happen

I know a couple like this, around 40 years old. She quit working retail ten years ago when they got engaged, which was the first clue that she saw him as her meal ticket. He makes decent income now, but he still has significant school debt and didn't break 100k until recently. I've been told that she has thyroid issues, but from what I can tell she has addiction issues that are enabled by her husband. They focus a lot in living in the moment as opposed to saving for the future. Lots of partying, expensive vacations, smoking, drugs. They've both gained a lot of weight in the process. He has expressed that he wishes she would work or go to college or volunteer. I've asked her about her hobbies and interests, and it's just wine tasting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Is there really nothing to talk about? Books, movies, restaurants, kid stuff, etc. I can usually find something in common that is fun to talk about

+1 or whatever she does? Even if it’s just cooking and gardening or whatever. She does something.

My sister stays home, no kids. She cooks, cleans, does house projects, gardens or crafts. Together, they do some outdoor stuff (stand up paddle boards, geocache, hike). She does have some mental health struggles, and while it is not impossible for her to work, she has struggled quite a lot in the past. Her husband is not super rich (trades person, LCOL), but he seems 100% happy in the relationship, so good for them.

Yeah, she's at risk if they were to divorce, but she was basically at risk for financial issues her whole life due to her mental health issues. She's in therapy too.

So what does she say when people ask her “What do you do?”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Is there really nothing to talk about? Books, movies, restaurants, kid stuff, etc. I can usually find something in common that is fun to talk about

+1 or whatever she does? Even if it’s just cooking and gardening or whatever. She does something.

NP. I notice that my people respect me more when I tell them about my new real job compared to when I was just teaching classes for my hobby. I entered a new profession because I like being able to share about my work and being more interesting as a person. The only work the women in my family did was janitorial and menial, and while I could live off DH with his 7-figure net worth, I couldn’t live my life not ever realizing my potential.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Is there really nothing to talk about? Books, movies, restaurants, kid stuff, etc. I can usually find something in common that is fun to talk about

+1 or whatever she does? Even if it’s just cooking and gardening or whatever. She does something.

My sister stays home, no kids. She cooks, cleans, does house projects, gardens or crafts. Together, they do some outdoor stuff (stand up paddle boards, geocache, hike). She does have some mental health struggles, and while it is not impossible for her to work, she has struggled quite a lot in the past. Her husband is not super rich (trades person, LCOL), but he seems 100% happy in the relationship, so good for them.

Yeah, she's at risk if they were to divorce, but she was basically at risk for financial issues her whole life due to her mental health issues. She's in therapy too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Is there really nothing to talk about? Books, movies, restaurants, kid stuff, etc. I can usually find something in common that is fun to talk about

+1 or whatever she does? Even if it’s just cooking and gardening or whatever. She does something.

You know what is really boring? Hearing other people’s work stories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Is there really nothing to talk about? Books, movies, restaurants, kid stuff, etc. I can usually find something in common that is fun to talk about

+1 or whatever she does? Even if it’s just cooking and gardening or whatever. She does something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.

Is there really nothing to talk about? Books, movies, restaurants, kid stuff, etc. I can usually find something in common that is fun to talk about

It would not be for me but I’m fine with it if it works for them. Could be they are struggling with something that they have not shared. I try not to judge.

I don’t know why people on this board think the only thing you can do with your time is work for money. There are a lot of ways to have a full life without a job.