Anonymous wrote:I was at a U15 tournament match once where the center ref, before the game, took a minute to introduce himself, address the crowd (parents) and, in a friendly way, discuss his expectations for their behavior. It really humanized him and made the match go more smoothly.

I plan to do the same when I resume refereeing, with one twist: I will demand that if anyone wants to call out a critical comment, they must do so in a foreign accent.

unt ze playeh iz offzide, ref! lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for every parent yelling at a ref, you should be obliged to show us your parking space and accept any and all yelling we do if it's not perfect.

Huh?

here let me right click+synonyms for you:
for every parent shouting at a ref, you should be indebted to show us your parking space and accept any and all yelling we do if it's not faultless.

I was at a U15 tournament match once where the center ref, before the game, took a minute to introduce himself, address the crowd (parents) and, in a friendly way, discuss his expectations for their behavior. It really humanized him and made the match go more smoothly.

I plan to do the same when I resume refereeing, with one twist: I will demand that if anyone wants to call out a critical comment, they must do so in a foreign accent.

Two things: 1. The lack of female referees is incredible. #2. Wouldn't it be nice if well-behaved parents had the courage to tell the few a-hole parents to shut up. Honestly, if all the behaved parents had the courage to stand up to the unruly parents, which is probably 10:1, the problem would be solved in a few weeks.

Anonymous wrote:I noticed that when due to Covid kids club put teams on opposing sides of the field, with parents behind the team (like HS), it helped with both ref abuse, and just overall parents getting angry towards each other. Parents seemed less willing to make asses of themselves when their kids coach, and maybe their kid, were right in earshot.

Of course this might depend on the coach, but my kids coach will sit the kid if the parent goes overboard. He used to say, if I pull your kid out and he is sitting right next to me - then I'm really doing it because of you.

That, WFH, and every restaurant doing take out are 3 things we should keep.

And alcohol in to go cups !

I noticed that when due to Covid kids club put teams on opposing sides of the field, with parents behind the team (like HS), it helped with both ref abuse, and just overall parents getting angry towards each other. Parents seemed less willing to make asses of themselves when their kids coach, and maybe their kid, were right in earshot.

Of course this might depend on the coach, but my kids coach will sit the kid if the parent goes overboard. He used to say, if I pull your kid out and he is sitting right next to me - then I'm really doing it because of you.

That, WFH, and every restaurant doing take out are 3 things we should keep.

Anonymous wrote:The problem is with the fouls that are not called. Girl hits girl with ball from behind center of back on the spine. Girls goes down refer ignores it. Ref not call fouls because the girl committing foul is small. She is ranking the other girl’s calf with her studs. Players like these need to be carded and kicked out of the game. They are a safety issue.

I could care less about offside, throw in or handball rule. Just be consistent with your calls.

I have three players, all boys, and I completely disagree. 90 percent of the plays that parents lose their minds about are completely legal. As parents learn more about what is allowed, the game becomes more physical, leading to more opportunities to go crazy. Soccer is a contact sport. Competitive players are going to be physical. I totally agree that someone raking a calf with her studs should be carded and thrown out but, really, how often does this happen?? How often does it happen that a ref is in position to call it and does not?? I have watched so many games over seven years of three kids in travel and I just don't agree that the lack of foul calls is a big problem.

Parents should referee games up to U10/U11, then you might see some improvement.

Parents and players alike are awful toward the referees. You couldn't pay me enough to do it!

Why parents haven't figured out that they are a big part of the problem is beyond me. And what exactly are they teaching their young children by doing this? Children learn what they see

Anonymous wrote:

Also recognize the best refs out there are not working your DS or DD’s game.

Criticizing those refs is like going all Karen at a McDonald’s employee for getting your order wrong.

Lower your standards and expectations

This.

100% this.

It constantly amazes me that people are surprised that the ref on their kids' third division U10 game isn't very good.
No kidding. The ref is probably at the same skill level, from a referee perspective, as your kid is at soccer.

Any ref with any real skill is being pleaded with right now to work MLS Next or high level ECNL games.
When I started, you had to work your way up to games like that, and reaching Academy level was big deal.
No more.

So unless you're a really high level team, please stop expecting good refs.
Not to say that there aren't good refs on every level, there certainly are, but they're doing you a favor if they're doing low level youth.

Anonymous wrote:They hourly rate for refs is higher than APS substitute teachers. LOL

I yell at them too.

Anonymous wrote:for every parent yelling at a ref, you should be obliged to show us your parking space and accept any and all yelling we do if it's not perfect.

Huh?

They hourly rate for refs is higher than APS substitute teachers. LOL

for every parent yelling at a ref, you should be obliged to show us your parking space and accept any and all yelling we do if it's not perfect.

My kid did a season of little league at 10 years old. Maybe 9 years old. These umpires were TERRIBLE! They were like 15 years olds and they were TERRIBLE. I mean the kid was standing about 10 feet from 2nd base to catch the throw from the outfield and the ump called him out on 2nd due to a force out. He wasn't even near the bag. The coach went to talk to young umpire. He then changed his decision. When the kid was running back to 2nd base from the dugout, the pitcher tagged him with the ball and the umpire called him out again. : ) And I'm not even going to get into the home plate umpire calling balls and strikes...but you know what, not one peep from the parents. The coaches tried to teach and were encouraging. I don't know why 9 year old soccer is life or death.