pp, tell that to 18 month old toddler

I used to teach preschool, one that did not have a sandbox. But if I did, I would not allow sand on hair or heads because of eyes and safety issues, but the hair issue is legitimate too— this is what I would have done. I would have tied a whole lesson around sandbox behavior. We would talk about how sandstays in the box unless you’re scooping. We would sit around and practice showing off our good sandbox skills and getting high praise. I would then closely monitor the sandbox during recess for a few weeks to make sure everyone is playing appropriately.

Sometimes kids need to be explicitly taught how to handle situations, we can’t just assume they know what rules should be when we tell them. They need to see and feel to understand. And they also need to be culturally sensitive to others needs. That is taught as well.

I hope the daycare or preschool can help.

There are other ways to achieve the purpose of the sandbox besides the sandbox. Ask them if you can help them find something that can respect your beliefs and it's what you believe is best as mother. Tell them to look past your anger and your skin color enough to understand you are a scared . Tell them you are scared for her safety and make them listen . They don't understand and can't because the cultures are to different from so long ago and they don't understand it yet to realize.

I would tell them your child is never allowed to go in a sandbox and it is breaking the rules of your home and your beliefs as a African American parent and then ask why your daughter should have to protect herself from the sandbox. Explain all black children are not always allowed to go in ky and the sandbox is unequal and your daughter is allowed the same rights. She shouldn't have to worry about her hair. Tell them to remove the sandbox because you believe it's a potentially dangerous safety hazard to her. Tell them it's dangerous for her and discrimination and no different than making a vegetarian kid eat meat. Tell them it is NOT culturally appropriate and there for not developmently appropriate. Over and over again. Tell them to they listen. Your daughter is never allowed to do this at school or in her life and she will never be allowed in her life except in thier care. Tell them it's a belief and your child is not safe and why .

New poster here, a lot of you need a crash course in exactly why representation matters, as you are busy commenting on the braids as though they are “just” a style issue without recognizing or realizing the long ongoing history of disrespect around Black hair. Braiding this little girls hair is not only a fashion choice and celebratory expression of style, but also protective of her scalp and hair. It is likely her hair braided or not requires a significant greater amount of upkeep then your kids hair does. It is inappropriate for any kid to be dumping sand, mulch etc…on another kid, and I’m certain kids have no clue that it matters more that they do it to one kid versus another…but brushing it off and insisting “oh kids do that” is not the answer.

Kids learn by being taught and the school has an obligation to keep kids safe yes, but also that the kids are treated with respect and dignity by other kids and staff. OP, I’d recommend a bonnet and maybe some hair love teaching at the school. Is the school mostly white? Could you bring in some picture books and talk to the kids about different types of hair and how to treat others kindly etc?

For everyone else suggesting “just don’t be high maintenance”, maybe read some of this:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protective_hairstyle#:~:text=Common%20types%20of%20protective%20hairstyles,hair%20length%20and%20promoting%20growth.

Daycare worker here.

Have her wear a hat, bonnet, scarf or any type of head protection. As daycare staff we do our best but can’t promise they stay clean. It’s just not the environment for that.

Dirt at daycare happens. The most common is kids pouring mulch, grass or any debris over themselves. Kids just love doing this. So don’t discount that she may be pouring sand on herself. Staff should stop other kids from pouring mulch one sand on her.

I’m not AA but please heed 18:01’s advice and don’t prevent your daughter from participating in activities.

I always 1 a bonnet to wear on the playground. After bouts with mulch, sand and dirt
The best strategy for keeping hair clean for us is the bonnet.

Anonymous wrote:It’s possible she got sand in her own hair (lying down in it, throwing it herself). How can you be certain someone dumped it on her head? My son frequently comes home with sand ALL
OVER (including his hair) even when he is the only one playing in the sandbox.

Maybe tell her she can’t play in it, or find a lower-maintenance hairstyle.

You sound white...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg some of these posters are crazy. Unless you want your child ignored all day, get a nanny!

OP this is DCUM where daycares are regarded as the depths of horror and every person can easily afford a nanny. And why are you trying to play the race card.

You won’t get helpful responses here, sorry.

Op here. What are you talking about? I didn't make that comment someone wrote above. And I don't know what they're talking about either. I'm not trying to "play the race card." And I think it's totally ridiculous to suggest a nanny. Not everyone can afford a nanny Seems like one person responding over and over in this thread.

Apparently, you are not supposed to indicate race in anyway because the posters here are too fragile to cope with the fact that people of color exist and might also have problems.

Sorry OP that was supposed to be sarcasm.

But why does race have anything to do with this? Why should her child get special attention? Because her braids are expensive? So it’s ok for a white kid (or any other race) to have sand put in their hair?

Sorry, but when you add race and the expense of the braids to the story, it seems like you’re asking for special treatment. That’s very hard in a group setting.

I don’t think OP is out of line. Obviously, it will be much harder to remove the sand from her daughter’s hairstyle than unbraided hair. And if it was something else like eyeglasses got that scratched by sandbox play, you’d probably say that was different. But it’s an investment either way. You just seem to have a chip on your shoulder.

Nope, I’d say that sh*t happens in the sandbox. Eyeglasses or precious braids. Black or white. They’re 3 for crying out loud.

Yeah it's like the same poster posting these troll comments. Just ignore them.

I think there are several of us that think this post is absurd, but whatever makes you feel better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg some of these posters are crazy. Unless you want your child ignored all day, get a nanny!

OP this is DCUM where daycares are regarded as the depths of horror and every person can easily afford a nanny. And why are you trying to play the race card.

You won’t get helpful responses here, sorry.

Op here. What are you talking about? I didn't make that comment someone wrote above. And I don't know what they're talking about either. I'm not trying to "play the race card." And I think it's totally ridiculous to suggest a nanny. Not everyone can afford a nanny Seems like one person responding over and over in this thread.

Apparently, you are not supposed to indicate race in anyway because the posters here are too fragile to cope with the fact that people of color exist and might also have problems.

Sorry OP that was supposed to be sarcasm.

But why does race have anything to do with this? Why should her child get special attention? Because her braids are expensive? So it’s ok for a white kid (or any other race) to have sand put in their hair?

Sorry, but when you add race and the expense of the braids to the story, it seems like you’re asking for special treatment. That’s very hard in a group setting.

I don’t think OP is out of line. Obviously, it will be much harder to remove the sand from her daughter’s hairstyle than unbraided hair. And if it was something else like eyeglasses got that scratched by sandbox play, you’d probably say that was different. But it’s an investment either way. You just seem to have a chip on your shoulder.

Nope, I’d say that sh*t happens in the sandbox. Eyeglasses or precious braids. Black or white. They’re 3 for crying out loud.

Yeah it's like the same poster posting these troll comments. Just ignore them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg some of these posters are crazy. Unless you want your child ignored all day, get a nanny!

OP this is DCUM where daycares are regarded as the depths of horror and every person can easily afford a nanny. And why are you trying to play the race card.

You won’t get helpful responses here, sorry.

Op here. What are you talking about? I didn't make that comment someone wrote above. And I don't know what they're talking about either. I'm not trying to "play the race card." And I think it's totally ridiculous to suggest a nanny. Not everyone can afford a nanny Seems like one person responding over and over in this thread.

Apparently, you are not supposed to indicate race in anyway because the posters here are too fragile to cope with the fact that people of color exist and might also have problems.

Sorry OP that was supposed to be sarcasm.

But why does race have anything to do with this? Why should her child get special attention? Because her braids are expensive? So it’s ok for a white kid (or any other race) to have sand put in their hair?

Sorry, but when you add race and the expense of the braids to the story, it seems like you’re asking for special treatment. That’s very hard in a group setting.

I don’t think OP is out of line. Obviously, it will be much harder to remove the sand from her daughter’s hairstyle than unbraided hair. And if it was something else like eyeglasses got that scratched by sandbox play, you’d probably say that was different. But it’s an investment either way. You just seem to have a chip on your shoulder.

Nope, I’d say that sh*t happens in the sandbox. Eyeglasses or precious braids. Black or white. They’re 3 for crying out loud.

One option is to tell the staff that your child is not allowed to play in the sand box. Hopefully, they will be able to handle this in a way that will not make her feel overly singled out or denied an enjoyable experience with her peers. You might also explain this to your child. My bias, though, would be hope that a kid would not be hampered by her hair from fully participating in any activities that she wants to try.

I say this as an African American female who has spent every summer since I was a toddler, delighting in swimming. This comes along with hair issues — but also confidence and joy.

I’m waiting for my copy of this to arrive. The author wrote it for her much younger sister. I’m expecting it to be the book that I wish I had read as a child and adolescent, and I’m looking forward to reading it now.


https://www.stclairdetrickjules.com/my-beautiful-black-hair