If I had a sibling like OP, I would probably just commit suicide. So toxic.

Anonymous wrote:Not a troll. I was responding to the pp who was describing the differences in their younger daughter and older daughter.

There are some siblings where one is just better at everything. I know both boys and girls like this.

I have a friend who is the younger prettier sister. Just like OP, the older sister did go to a better college, but the younger sister got a better job, earns more money and married into money and now has the beautiful house with the picture perfect family.

I’m so glad my kids have different personalities and different strengths. I also think they are all equally beautiful.

Well, the point here is to list things from my older dd’s perspective, isn’t it?


I’d like to hear your older daughter’s perspective- from her. Lol

Not a troll. I was responding to the pp who was describing the differences in their younger daughter and older daughter.

This must be a troll. My little sisters wedding was so much better than mine in so many ways and I couldn’t be happier for her. Take a hard look at your ego and just stop.

Trust me, I’m certain that your older daughter has a pretty clear idea of who gets to swim in the special pool and who has to take a dip in the dirty pond.

People should put more focus on their own experience as a human being. Otherwise, it could be her sister “that makes her feel miserable today, but it could somebody else in the future”

Or it could be that her PARENT, who clearly favors her sister, Her parent that is so acutely unaware of their obvious favoritism of her sis, has perpetuated this relationship, my guess since she was born.

You seem to be incapable of giving your older daughter even a half compliment without stating that you won’t downplay the younger child’s accomplishments.

I wish I could tell you I’m biased, but I’m not.

Yes. You are. Read your posts.
Textbook Golden child / scapegoat.

Pp above again. People’s traits are facts. Sometimes, one is just more beautiful, smarter, kinder, and sometimes even luckier. Those are facts based on social norms. However you want to deny it, you will be convinced again by the social norms. I don’t think many of us are powerful or confident enough to ignore or redefine these social norms. However, one should define their own happiness. Maybe one version of it is to focus on what you already have and take positive actions to improve things you are not satisfied. for instance, maybe your husband will never be as successful as your sister’s, but can you working on building a good relationship with him so you feel more loved and content in your marriage?
In terms of luck, my older one actually often refers to that when mentioning her sis. I think that is a misunderstanding. She often ignores the hard work behind that. Another observations I had is that when you are kind and positive, people tend to be gravitated towards you like magnets.you are more likely to be supported or even favored. It’s easier for you to get things done. When hard work combined with support from people around you, you feel “lucky”. Some pp mentioned about women’s good looking. Maybe my girls are too small. My older one is better looking than my younger one in every definition.

Anonymous wrote:Adding to that…if how you described your younger daughter, saying nothing positive about your older daughter, is indicative of the family dynamic as the sisters grew up, is positively shameful…SMH

Well, the point here is to list things from my older dd’s perspective, isn’t it? And could you believe there are people in this world made with minimum flaws? I couldn’t until I actually live with one! The other daughter has many merits, too. And in fact, she is probably already a “perfect” kid in many parents’ eyes. But what I listed is what she encounters everyday. Whatever events they both participate, younger one outdoes her, from academics, to sports. I wish I could tell you I’m biased, but I’m not. So making her think about things she does better than her sister does not help and is not the right approach for anyone. People should put more focus on their own experience as a human being. Otherwise, it could be her sister that makes her feel miserable today, but it could somebody else in the future. So changing mindset is the way to go. By the way, my girls love each other. I’ve always help them to see their own merits. But I’m not going to downplay all the good behaviors my younger one demonstrated, either. My older dd admitting her jealousy is actually part of a healthy family dynamic, especially it’s from a teen who shares the deepest secrets with you. I can help navigate her. We chatted about this from time to time, just like other things we would talk about. She understands my love for them is not based on performance. Again, if op’s parents could have identified her feelings and guided her when she was young, she might feel differently today. A little jealousy is normal human emotions, but too much of that will only hurt yourself. Hope op could see that and have a mindset change.

I am someone who has always been somewhat lucky and things came easy to me. DH was surprisingly more successful than I expected. I often feel people resent me and don’t like me. I don’t want to say they are jealous but I have received back handed compliments my entire life. I always try to be generous and kind to my friends and family.

You should feel lucky to have a sister. I don’t think she is doing anything to cause you any harm.

Adding to that…if how you described your younger daughter, saying nothing positive about your older daughter, is indicative of the family dynamic as the sisters grew up, is positively shameful…SMH

I have two daughters, one in ms the other in es. The younger one is super smart, very generous, great personality, well liked, more organized, better at time management, more energetic, always positive, always smiling, super empathetic and loving, more hard working, does everything at ease, top performance for everything she tries…i feel for you, op, because my older ds feels the same way. I tell her to focus on herself. Everyone’s different. And everyone has their own merits in a different way. Comparing only makes her miserable. But there are things she could do to make a better version of herself: be more generous to other people, work harder at things, manage her time efficiently, etc. She would be proud of what she could be if she tries.
Op, take actions on what could make yourself a better person. Focus on yourself, not others. You will feel more content.

Wow. Please tell me I’m reading this wrong…

You didn’t mention your older daughter’s qualities…

I have two daughters, one in ms the other in es. The younger one is super smart, very generous, great personality, well liked, more organized, better at time management, more energetic, always positive, always smiling, super empathetic and loving, more hard working, does everything at ease, top performance for everything she tries…i feel for you, op, because my older ds feels the same way. I tell her to focus on herself. Everyone’s different. And everyone has their own merits in a different way. Comparing only makes her miserable. But there are things she could do to make a better version of herself: be more generous to other people, work harder at things, manage her time efficiently, etc. She would be proud of what she could be if she tries.
Op, take actions on what could make yourself a better person. Focus on yourself, not others. You will feel more content.

You sound pathetic OP. You are an adult now. Let. It. Go.