Anonymous
Post 09/20/2021 06:23     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:I think some pps are taking this a bit too seriously as though cotillion is supposed to be done in lieu of learning manners at home or is somehow supposed to make the kids attending behave perfectly. Like most kids activities, it is supposed to be fun, a place to bond with peers, and a place to learn something new.


And the cotillion this post is about is separate and different from the debutante balls. Yes, confusing that they have the same name.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2021 06:21     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.


+1. It's weird to think of it as "status conscious." It's not at all like that.

My boys play sports and are very athletic. They play x-box and play outside with their friends. Cotillion is a good addition that rounds them out a bit. They can score at the game AND grab the correct fork and tie their ties. It's not that big of a deal.


But why can’t you teach them that yourself? Or do you not know how?


Why can’t you teach everything yourself? Why send kids to school?
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2021 05:52     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.


Your boys are weird. Most normal boys would rather have a root canal than "dress up and go to a little party at the neighborhood event center."
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2021 05:50     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who does this? Teach your child manners at home, over the course of their whole childhood. If your child doesn’t have good manners, a 6 week course isn’t going to fix what home life over the past 12 yrs failed to teach. They will revert back to whatever your normal is at home.


I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you have one child, on non-athletic children.


Well I agree with the PP and I have multiple children who play travel sports... and would not be caught dead at cotillion.


Same.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2021 05:47     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Any experience with this? When do you start taking your boys and girls? If you have a wild boy (tween) who thinks it’s cool to be a rascal, is it better to wait or start early?



A “rascal?” Are you 80?


Not OP but been hearing the term rascal quite a bit. Are you judgmental?


Hearing it quite a bit from where? Are YOU 80?
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2021 05:27     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s not something I’d ever put my kids in. I can’t believe how many “woke” parents put their kids in it (looking at you arlington).


Oh look, it’s the poster obsessed with wokeness.

Of all the threads.

Your obsession is so tiresome.


I believe they meant "white", not woke.
Forgive them, they can't help it if they grew up small minded and racist, they probably had morally corrupt parents too. 🤷‍♀️
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2021 05:04     Subject: Re:Cotillion
Our children all did it. It was tough to get them to go in the early years. In middle school, as long as their friends were going, they wanted to participate. IMO it was a way to get them to socialize without using an electronic device. Well worth the time and money for that reason alone. I supported many of the other aspects also- table manners, introducing yourself and making small talk, writing a good thank you note, etc. There were dances throughout and again, they offered an easy way for kids to gather and have fun in a way that they would not otherwise had the opportunity for.
And DC play sports also, as did most of the other children I knew in the group.

Cotillion offered an opportunity for my children to learn some soft skills. Certainly the skills can be taught at home but Cotillion offers an opportunity to practice and put them to use. And get over the ‘woke’ or ‘R’ thing. Just let your kids interact with peers.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 19:15     Subject: Re:Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:Not opposed to it if you can get your tween/ teen to do it. We also have Ms Simpson’s dance and etiquette classes in MD part of MDV … would love my DD to do either of them but steadfastly refuses .., DS did not love it but learned a lot.

It all seems outmoded/ dinosaurish to them now as they are growing up on Tik Tok dance moves and social media. However, I believe at some point, it will be cool for them to know the traditional dance basics and historically based etiquette traditions.

Whe. They even really get married, or whatever they do, it can not help their confidence to know what is expected of them in certain circles.

They can reject it all later - but it is empowering for everyone gem to know how to dance a d break the ice in formal Situations.

Even if they are transgender or gay or bi eventually, it is good for them to know traditional gender dance moves in order to make future partners feel comfortable.

I don’t think we should thrown the baby out with the baby water regarding her he beauty and part of dance and etiquette.


Omg - a typo and spelling disaster, sorry. Was making dinner and felt rushed - Please do excuse all the typos and autocorrects …
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 19:12     Subject: Re:Cotillion
Not opposed to it if you can get your tween/ teen to do it. We also have Ms Simpson’s dance and etiquette classes in MD part of MDV … would love my DD to do either of them but steadfastly refuses .., DS did not love it but learned a lot.

It all seems outmoded/ dinosaurish to them now as they are growing up on Tik Tok dance moves and social media. However, I believe at some point, it will be cool for them to know the traditional dance basics and historically based etiquette traditions.

Whe. They even really get married, or whatever they do, it can not help their confidence to know what is expected of them in certain circles.

They can reject it all later - but it is empowering for everyone gem to know how to dance a d break the ice in formal Situations.

Even if they are transgender or gay or bi eventually, it is good for them to know traditional gender dance moves in order to make future partners feel comfortable.

I don’t think we should thrown the baby out with the baby water regarding her he beauty and part of dance and etiquette.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 18:49     Subject: Cotillion
I think some pps are taking this a bit too seriously as though cotillion is supposed to be done in lieu of learning manners at home or is somehow supposed to make the kids attending behave perfectly. Like most kids activities, it is supposed to be fun, a place to bond with peers, and a place to learn something new.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 18:45     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.


+1. It's weird to think of it as "status conscious." It's not at all like that.

My boys play sports and are very athletic. They play x-box and play outside with their friends. Cotillion is a good addition that rounds them out a bit. They can score at the game AND grab the correct fork and tie their ties. It's not that big of a deal.


But why can’t you teach them that yourself? Or do you not know how?


Some of it I don’t know and is really not particularly useful but fun for the kids (like waltzing) some of it (table manners, behaving politely in different social situations) enforces what is learned at home and, again, provides a fun setting with peers. I also know how to swim and taught my kids but sent my kids to swim classes, anyway. They did pick up some new info and had a great time.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 18:14     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a manners class to teach your kids some manners?


Maybe you perfect people don’t. I never held myself out to be perfect. My 7th grader eats pretty sloppily despite the fact that I’m not modeling sloppy eating myself.

Who said I was perfect. I'm far from it. But manners at the table isn't that hard to teach if you've been doing it since they were young. Like with anything, you just start drilling it into them at a young age.

Most kids also pickup their manners from their peers, so even if you send them to to this class, if most of his peers are a certain way, he will revert to that way.

When my kids were younger (ES age) we had several older people at nice restaurants tell us how well behaved they were. They don't behave this well at home at the table, but we drilled into them how to behave at restaurants from a young age.

Part of it is just maturity, too.

I know of one parent who sent her DS to such a class, and this kid and the parents are kind of quirky. My DS is friendly with the kid, but DS said a lot of kids think he's weird, and the kid doesn't have many friends. I guess they didn't do a good job of how to fit in with your peers and make friends.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 17:58     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.


+1. It's weird to think of it as "status conscious." It's not at all like that.

My boys play sports and are very athletic. They play x-box and play outside with their friends. Cotillion is a good addition that rounds them out a bit. They can score at the game AND grab the correct fork and tie their ties. It's not that big of a deal.


But why can’t you teach them that yourself? Or do you not know how?
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 17:48     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.


+1. It's weird to think of it as "status conscious." It's not at all like that.

My boys play sports and are very athletic. They play x-box and play outside with their friends. Cotillion is a good addition that rounds them out a bit. They can score at the game AND grab the correct fork and tie their ties. It's not that big of a deal.


I think most people get this idea from tv shows that portray wealthy UC people doing it and it’s often confused with debutante balls. My family is umc nationally but very MC in any expensive city. Where we go it is not expensive nor glamorous.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2021 17:09     Subject: Cotillion
Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.


+1. It's weird to think of it as "status conscious." It's not at all like that.

My boys play sports and are very athletic. They play x-box and play outside with their friends. Cotillion is a good addition that rounds them out a bit. They can score at the game AND grab the correct fork and tie their ties. It's not that big of a deal.