Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:49     Subject: Re:9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Around U11 was told at try out by a local ECNL club my kid needed to choose their club if she wanted to play in college. It wasnt why I had her in travel nor the ultimate pursuit so we opted for a different club and havent looked back.

She has played for a very competitive non ecnl club and is now in her last year. Great group of friends, life lessons that sports teaches, fitness beyond what any other option might offer and international travel that opened her eyes up to the world.

She will choose a path in life that she wants. Youth travel soccer has done so much for her over the years it was money well spent.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:43     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think listening to a kid and not just dismmising their thoughts and desires is important. But , ultimately it is up to the parents. For me, I'd say not to travel or high intensity sports, not just for the money, but for time. And not just mine, but our family's and my kids. I don't want them to lose their childhood.


What childhood do you think they are losing by playing team sports?


Travel and high competitive sports are quite the time suck. Usually there isn't time for much else. I've know kids who've done these sports. They say the same.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:41     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
OP, once you knew he wasn't headed for a full D1 ride, why didn't you dial it back a bit? With my DS, I could tell pretty early on that while he loves soccer, he was/is more academically focused. So instead of chasing ECNL 'glory' (lol), we stayed at mid-level clubs with decent coaches and where his friends were. Also, saved quite a bit of money. Eight years in now and we have spent under $12k to your $30k.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:38     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:I think listening to a kid and not just dismmising their thoughts and desires is important. But , ultimately it is up to the parents. For me, I'd say not to travel or high intensity sports, not just for the money, but for time. And not just mine, but our family's and my kids. I don't want them to lose their childhood.


What childhood do you think they are losing by playing team sports?
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:37     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for this post. My DS is early in the travel journey and we're debating whether this is a good decision or not. We already plan so much time around his sports' schedule that I can't imagine what it'll be like heading to SC/NC for weekends, too. At present, the kids all do well academically so I'd like to focus on that. Even if DS is good enough to play D3, what's the point in that? He'd spend so much time in practice and games that he'd miss out on the academics of college.

I think our kids would gain just as much athleticism and love of team sports playing on a lower tier team with less commitment as playing travel. I'm planning to get out while we still can and spend that extra time and money on academics and family time.


How he spends his time in college is really up to him.

While kids activities should not be indulged beyond the families financial or real logistical or time constraints but purposely holding a kid back from their potential only closes opportunities later. I don't know if your son can play D3, D2 or D1 and it may not even matter to him but it is best to let him drive his ambition within the boundaries of what your family can reasonably accommodate.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:34     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:I look at high school athletics from the perspective that it keeps them BUSY. No time for playing endless video games or getting into trouble. Often, a busy athlete is a better student because they learn to organize their academic life. Bonus: they stay in shape too. Think positive OP.


It's funny that this is so many people's attitudes. I was not a busy kid (teen). But, I also wasn't a trouble maker or a couch potato.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:22     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
I think listening to a kid and not just dismmising their thoughts and desires is important. But , ultimately it is up to the parents. For me, I'd say not to travel or high intensity sports, not just for the money, but for time. And not just mine, but our family's and my kids. I don't want them to lose their childhood.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 14:18     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Disappointment/regret only happens when you don’t get the result/outcome you were expecting, whether it was realistic or not in the first place.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 13:55     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
OP, thanks for this post. My DS is early in the travel journey and we're debating whether this is a good decision or not. We already plan so much time around his sports' schedule that I can't imagine what it'll be like heading to SC/NC for weekends, too. At present, the kids all do well academically so I'd like to focus on that. Even if DS is good enough to play D3, what's the point in that? He'd spend so much time in practice and games that he'd miss out on the academics of college.

I think our kids would gain just as much athleticism and love of team sports playing on a lower tier team with less commitment as playing travel. I'm planning to get out while we still can and spend that extra time and money on academics and family time.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 13:51     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:I think parents often underestimate what playing competitive sports does for an individual's development. I would think that many of those gifts are priceless. The end goal shouldn't be college ball, but rather a strong body and mind.
-former D1 player



Great point. DS, who abruptly quit (posts above), is going to channel the competitive energy into another entirely different arena. Life lessons from competitive soccer will translate.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 13:46     Subject: Re:9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS here just abruptly announced he's done with soccer after this senior season of club soccer. He's got D2/D3 interest and a standing developmental offer at a small club overseas. As of less than a month ago he was actually considering finishing HS online to take advantage of that developmental offer, that's how serious he was with soccer. He's played since he was 5, been serious about "playing after HS" since age 10...

Like OP, this journey has been one heck of an investment in time, energy, sweat, tears, blood, broken bones, money... This abrupt ending is far tougher on me as a parent than him. He's relieved. The pressure to be perfect, to make the next bigger team is GONE. Coincidentally he's playing great for the club team now.

Like others here have said - Focus on all the good memories from the journey. Focus on the life lessons we learned. Heck, he's chosen to stick with the team this season no matter what, even though it's a "dead end" now.



OP I will have to say, you ending your son's soccer journey for him is not cool... Let him decide. Find a way to make it work next year if he still wants to play that last season.


OP here

I think the question now is, if you had another child, would you do it again?


Yes, but a bit differently.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 13:44     Subject: Re:9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS here just abruptly announced he's done with soccer after this senior season of club soccer. He's got D2/D3 interest and a standing developmental offer at a small club overseas. As of less than a month ago he was actually considering finishing HS online to take advantage of that developmental offer, that's how serious he was with soccer. He's played since he was 5, been serious about "playing after HS" since age 10...

Like OP, this journey has been one heck of an investment in time, energy, sweat, tears, blood, broken bones, money... This abrupt ending is far tougher on me as a parent than him. He's relieved. The pressure to be perfect, to make the next bigger team is GONE. Coincidentally he's playing great for the club team now.

Like others here have said - Focus on all the good memories from the journey. Focus on the life lessons we learned. Heck, he's chosen to stick with the team this season no matter what, even though it's a "dead end" now.



OP I will have to say, you ending your son's soccer journey for him is not cool... Let him decide. Find a way to make it work next year if he still wants to play that last season.


OP here

I think the question now is, if you had another child, would you do it again?




We'd do it again, but take a different/better path. If we had a bigger family with multiple soccer players we'd have guided soccer player 2 or 3 differently... We were dumb naïve parents. We never played or grew up with soccer so we didn't know any better. We'll pass our wisdom on to anyone who will listen now... but I'm sure that audience will be really small, LOL.

Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 13:38     Subject: 9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son plays a different travel sport, but I agree that a lot of it was a waste of my time, money and life energy. I do regret a lot of the outlay in money & family time for 1 kid. Other kid is playing a less competitive team that's cheaper & local.


Other than the expense I can never relate to watching my kids play in any activity as a waste of my time. They ARE my time.


Watching any sport practice is boring as hell.


I'm sure you will be a happier person when your kids move out.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 13:37     Subject: Re:9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
What will happen is my DD will now not have to choose her ballet or softball and other activities around her older brothers soccer practice schedule. We said no to her this year because the activities she wanted were exactly on the days my oldest practiced.


Don't most clubs have practices for older kids fairly late, such that there would be no conflict? My boys both played for Alexandria, and by the time that they were in late middle school, their practices were during the evenings. Fairly late for the one that kept playing into high school (other one switched sports).
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2021 13:34     Subject: Re:9 years of travel socce for DC, I regret it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No regrets. We set expectations, DC wasn't gunning for college soccer. We rather they focus on academics and graduate timely.
DC is happy and developing on team B. We never paid for extra lessons.

DC still loves soccer and also refs. It's been a really good run, great childhood memories.


Hmmm ... my nephew will graduate from Johns Hopkins next spring and plays soccer on their team (D3). But I guess because he does play soccer in college he is not at all focused on academics. Yeah, a kid who goes to Hopkins is not invested in academics at all /s


My husband was an athlete at Hopkins too. So many doctors from his team .


Sure and I have family members who had to drop their college sports since they weren't making the grades. Of course, it depends on the kid, but obviously less of a balancing act when you don't have to juggle both time commitments.