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Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Come on OP. Your daughter has active shooter drills at school. That’s a lot more scary than hearing about something bad that happened in ancient history—and for a 6 year old 9/11 IS ancient history. It was a long time ago. Your kid is not as fragile as you think.

Ahem, those are tornado drills. You just need to get in the coat closet and be very quiet so the tornado can’t find you.

Exactly. My DD thinks they are tornado drills. She has no concept that they are for an active shooter. Schools do shelter younger kids from that (as they should).

Umm, what school is telling them they are tornado drills. Our FCPS has never done that, ever. And I had a kid in kinder when they started, and another one after that.

also, OP, your child might not learn it in school from a teacher, but you will see that she and her friends will discuss all sorts of things (wait until FLE LOL) You can opt out of FLE, but you can't opt out of lunch table convos about it, which I don't think people understand. I'd rather my kids learn that stuff from me, and 2ndly their teacher, not from Johnny or Larla

Our private refers to them as tornado drills, and they’ve had them since preschool. I’m fine with the teachers not telling my 4 year old that they’re practicing to not be shot to death.

Trust that any of the kids with older siblings have already told the other kids the truth, and probably in worse ways.

Or so you hope, eh?

Personally, I think it’s crazy that you go in to other peoples homes and tell them what to do in their own home. I’m sure you would love it if someone told you what you could and could not do in your home. Maybe your mother or mother-in-law? I’m sure you would be totally cool with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These replies are insane. Kids do not need to know this stuff. I would let it go with your mom- not a big deal in the grand scheme. But do not go out of your way to teach your kids about the horrors of the world or age inappropriate things! Do you guys show them porn and smoke around them bc they are going to get exposed to it anyway when they are older?

You are the insane one.

+1. Unless you hide your kids under a rock, they could very well see a cover of TIME or a newspaper in the pediatric dentist's office with a 9/11 cover. Or an image of the Holocaust. Etc.

Kids do, indeed, need to know about this stuff. In part so that it doesn't happen again. I'm glad that my parents taught me, in age-appropriate ways, about D-Day, WWII, the Holocaust, etc.

Even if you try to sing-song your way through childhood, the Challenger can still blow up while you're watching the happy event of a teacher going to space in school. Ask me how I know.

And you know what? When the Challenger blew up as we watched, our teachers and our parents talked to us about it. It was tragic, and horrible, but we talked through the fact that...sometimes life is tragic and horrible. And we also talked about bravery and heroism.

This. On 9-11 this year I talked to my young kids about the attacks and sad things that happened, but also about all of the acts of heroism that show how good can triumph over bad- the people on flight 93 who prevented another building from being hit, the firefighters who went into burning buildings to save life’s and how the country came together in the aftermath.

+1. When I talked to my daughter a few days ago to prepare her for the fact that they might talk about it in school, or she might hear or see something elsewhere, we talked a lot about the beautiful and brave things that happened. She didn't cry until I told her that flight 93 ran into the ground instead of the Capitol or the White House because the good people on that flight worked together to save those buildings and the people inside those buildings.

I also showed her the monuments and demonstrations of love and support from all over the world--like the beautiful teardrop statue that was a gift from Russia. And the new memorial in NYC. And the phone calls and letters from the presidents and leaders of other countries that came pouring in. And the UK playing the U.S. national anthem during the changing of the guard the other day.

We talked about how not only soldiers and police officers and fire fighters are heroes--we can all be heroes, and we can all do good.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 6 and this is the first 9/11 she really has been old enough to notice (probably because of greater media coverage due to the 20th anniversary). We don't watch news around her (or really at all in general). She hadn't asked about it and I personally didn't really care to explain that day to her till she was older. Well she was at my moms house and they have the news on like 24/7 so of course she saw 9/11 coverage and asked about it and apparently she was told the very blunt version - bad men purposely crashed planes into buildings and lots of people died. Once she was back home, a commercial for the 60 Minutes 9/11 special came on during an NFL game and she started getting upset and asked me to turn it off because it was scary and so many people died that day.

I'm kind of annoyed that my mom told her so bluntly. I mean, she's not wrong and my daughter will learn about 9/11 eventually, but ... she's 6 and my response would have been bit more tempered than my mom's. Thoughts?

My thought as a teacher is that you need to send your. mom a thank you note.

Sending a first grader to school to learn about something this upsetting there for the first time is cruel. Your mother made it so she learned in the safety of family, when her mother didn't care enough to do it.

My kids were 5 and 6 on 9/11/01. What’s the problem. Bad stuff happens, it’s difficult, but there it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These replies are insane. Kids do not need to know this stuff. I would let it go with your mom- not a big deal in the grand scheme. But do not go out of your way to teach your kids about the horrors of the world or age inappropriate things! Do you guys show them porn and smoke around them bc they are going to get exposed to it anyway when they are older?

You are the insane one.

+1. Unless you hide your kids under a rock, they could very well see a cover of TIME or a newspaper in the pediatric dentist's office with a 9/11 cover. Or an image of the Holocaust. Etc.

Kids do, indeed, need to know about this stuff. In part so that it doesn't happen again. I'm glad that my parents taught me, in age-appropriate ways, about D-Day, WWII, the Holocaust, etc.

Even if you try to sing-song your way through childhood, the Challenger can still blow up while you're watching the happy event of a teacher going to space in school. Ask me how I know.

And you know what? When the Challenger blew up as we watched, our teachers and our parents talked to us about it. It was tragic, and horrible, but we talked through the fact that...sometimes life is tragic and horrible. And we also talked about bravery and heroism.

This. On 9-11 this year I talked to my young kids about the attacks and sad things that happened, but also about all of the acts of heroism that show how good can triumph over bad- the people on flight 93 who prevented another building from being hit, the firefighters who went into burning buildings to save life’s and how the country came together in the aftermath.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These replies are insane. Kids do not need to know this stuff. I would let it go with your mom- not a big deal in the grand scheme. But do not go out of your way to teach your kids about the horrors of the world or age inappropriate things! Do you guys show them porn and smoke around them bc they are going to get exposed to it anyway when they are older?

You are the insane one.

+1. Unless you hide your kids under a rock, they could very well see a cover of TIME or a newspaper in the pediatric dentist's office with a 9/11 cover. Or an image of the Holocaust. Etc.

Kids do, indeed, need to know about this stuff. In part so that it doesn't happen again. I'm glad that my parents taught me, in age-appropriate ways, about D-Day, WWII, the Holocaust, etc.

Even if you try to sing-song your way through childhood, the Challenger can still blow up while you're watching the happy event of a teacher going to space in school. Ask me how I know.

And you know what? When the Challenger blew up as we watched, our teachers and our parents talked to us about it. It was tragic, and horrible, but we talked through the fact that...sometimes life is tragic and horrible. And we also talked about bravery and heroism.

Kids are aware that there are 'bad guys' in the world who do bad things. It's not a shock to them, it's part of how the world is.

Have you ready any classic fairy tales or watched any Disney movies? There's almost always a villain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Come on OP. Your daughter has active shooter drills at school. That’s a lot more scary than hearing about something bad that happened in ancient history—and for a 6 year old 9/11 IS ancient history. It was a long time ago. Your kid is not as fragile as you think.

Ahem, those are tornado drills. You just need to get in the coat closet and be very quiet so the tornado can’t find you.

Exactly. My DD thinks they are tornado drills. She has no concept that they are for an active shooter. Schools do shelter younger kids from that (as they should).

Umm, what school is telling them they are tornado drills. Our FCPS has never done that, ever. And I had a kid in kinder when they started, and another one after that.

also, OP, your child might not learn it in school from a teacher, but you will see that she and her friends will discuss all sorts of things (wait until FLE LOL) You can opt out of FLE, but you can't opt out of lunch table convos about it, which I don't think people understand. I'd rather my kids learn that stuff from me, and 2ndly their teacher, not from Johnny or Larla

Our private refers to them as tornado drills, and they’ve had them since preschool. I’m fine with the teachers not telling my 4 year old that they’re practicing to not be shot to death.

Trust that any of the kids with older siblings have already told the other kids the truth, and probably in worse ways.

Anonymous wrote:These replies are insane. Kids do not need to know this stuff. I would let it go with your mom- not a big deal in the grand scheme. But do not go out of your way to teach your kids about the horrors of the world or age inappropriate things! Do you guys show them porn and smoke around them bc they are going to get exposed to it anyway when they are older?

You are the insane one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

I’m just going to point out a couple things that your posts brought to mind. Some kids know. Some parents don’t shield their kids, some of her classmates will have older siblings who share info. Even if it’s not a structured program at school or part of the curriculum, it’s an interesting and scary topic and kids love to talk about interesting and scary stories. Do you want her to learn from you or other people?

Think about other topics you might want to introduce before her friends or school do, like drugs, alcohol, vaping, sex, anatomy, etc. You should already be having age appropriate conversations about these topics if you haven’t yet. Get a book to read with her if you haven’t yet or don’t know what to say.

I have kids with anxiety too. My husband and I also deal with it to varying degrees. The pandemic definitely didn’t help. However, protecting kids who have anxiety from things that make them anxious can make them feel like their anxiety is reasonable. Helping them find a way through the anxiety and coming out well on the other side can be empowering. That doesn’t mean you need to make her start watching the news and explain everything in detail, but if she’s likely to be exposed to a topic you have a chance to give her a sanitized version first.

What would your less blunt version of 9/11 have been? Bad men crashed planes into buildings and people died is scary but true. I can’t think of a more basic way to tell it without leaving out key components or lying. If you had left off the death part, wouldn’t she have asked if people got hurt? Do you also have anxiety OP?

OP, keep in mind that DCUM skews to anxious, high maintenance parents, and most of them are telling you that you are overreacting.

I think your mom explained well. 9/11 was discussed with my elem ds and he mentioned another student told them about suicide bombers. I tell my kids what I think they can handle and shelter them when I can but their friends are across the board way more exposed and have unfettered internet access. If you don't tell them they will get a peer's skewed understanding of things.

Your mom is an overstepper and this is what you get for free babysitting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Come on OP. Your daughter has active shooter drills at school. That’s a lot more scary than hearing about something bad that happened in ancient history—and for a 6 year old 9/11 IS ancient history. It was a long time ago. Your kid is not as fragile as you think.

Ahem, those are tornado drills. You just need to get in the coat closet and be very quiet so the tornado can’t find you.

Exactly. My DD thinks they are tornado drills. She has no concept that they are for an active shooter. Schools do shelter younger kids from that (as they should).

Wait what?!?? What does your school do for actual tornado drills?

There aren't tornado drills in DC.