Anonymous wrote:She showed up on her second day early as well, and asked to change the schedule to the half hour earlier time because the trains work better for her that way. That earlier time isn’t great for me (baby is usually still napping then) and I told me as much and she said oh but the train schedule works better for me. I don’t strictly need her for the last half hour each days except MAYBE once a week- can i propose that as a compromise, we can do the schedule she proposed, but if I need the actual last half hour we originally agreed to on some day, she wil have to stay for that time and it will not be extra pay?

Oh I think you have to part ways with her. She’s already trying to change the terms of her employment on day two. I assume when she signed on she knew the hours you need it. This doesn’t look good long-term and you need to look for somebody else. It’s really not about the 30 minutes it’s all about all of the certain problems you’re going to have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She showed up on her second day early as well, and asked to change the schedule to the half hour earlier time because the trains work better for her that way. That earlier time isn’t great for me (baby is usually still napping then) and I told me as much and she said oh but the train schedule works better for me. I don’t strictly need her for the last half hour each days except MAYBE once a week- can i propose that as a compromise, we can do the schedule she proposed, but if I need the actual last half hour we originally agreed to on some day, she wil have to stay for that time and it will not be extra pay?

I think your at “if this schedule isn’t going to work for you, I think we’ll need to part ways.”

I agree. For me it isn't even the 30 minutes. It's the brand new employee wanting to change things to make a new job more convenient.

Find someone else, this is likely only the beginning. "These are the hours you were hired for. If the specifics of the job don't work for you we will find someone else."

The ocassional change, or something that is beneficial to both - Ok. I just wonder what else she will come up with.

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to let her go early, but if you keep her you do need to pay her for the extra half hour.

This. Otherwise it’s a wage violation.

Anonymous wrote:She showed up on her second day early as well, and asked to change the schedule to the half hour earlier time because the trains work better for her that way. That earlier time isn’t great for me (baby is usually still napping then) and I told me as much and she said oh but the train schedule works better for me. I don’t strictly need her for the last half hour each days except MAYBE once a week- can i propose that as a compromise, we can do the schedule she proposed, but if I need the actual last half hour we originally agreed to on some day, she wil have to stay for that time and it will not be extra pay?

I think your at “if this schedule isn’t going to work for you, I think we’ll need to part ways.”

Oh I’m so sorry, I need coverage until 3 pm each day. You are welcome to arrive a little early if that is convenient for you, but I still need coverage until 4.

I agree this is a red flag on a first day. A nanny should expect to need to cover specific hours, and while exceptions and flexibilities are always possible, it’a awfully strange to do that on the first day.

Though, presumably the nanny knows the OP isn’t working so might figure it is no big deal. I still think that would be weird and unprofessional, but it is understandable.

I am intrigued by the notion of a full time nanny for someone that isn’t working. Is that temporary (e.g., still on maternity leave or between jobs) or semi-permanent?

I'm a nanny for a SAHM. It doesn't matter if she works or not; me asking to leave early because I chose to arrive early isn't her issue. I find this odd, especially on the first day.

Anonymous wrote:She showed up on her second day early as well, and asked to change the schedule to the half hour earlier time because the trains work better for her that way. That earlier time isn’t great for me (baby is usually still napping then) and I told me as much and she said oh but the train schedule works better for me. I don’t strictly need her for the last half hour each days except MAYBE once a week- can i propose that as a compromise, we can do the schedule she proposed, but if I need the actual last half hour we originally agreed to on some day, she wil have to stay for that time and it will not be extra pay?

Just FYI, many nannies hate and resent their SAHM employers, so tread lightly and treat her well.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/11/new-york-nanny-killed-children-argument-mother-krim/

She showed up on her second day early as well, and asked to change the schedule to the half hour earlier time because the trains work better for her that way. That earlier time isn’t great for me (baby is usually still napping then) and I told me as much and she said oh but the train schedule works better for me. I don’t strictly need her for the last half hour each days except MAYBE once a week- can i propose that as a compromise, we can do the schedule she proposed, but if I need the actual last half hour we originally agreed to on some day, she wil have to stay for that time and it will not be extra pay?

I’m sorry yoot hours are 9:30-5:30. She can wait outside until 9:30.

I'd set firm boundaries now because pretty soon arriving a half hour early and leaving a half hour early will morph into arriving a half hour late or more and working over to make up the difference, often when you don't need her there in the evenings.

We had a nanny who was young and wanted more flexible hours since I was working from home. This is exactly what happened to us.

She was commuting from DC into VA via Metro. If she arrived 30-45 mins. early, she would come to start work early. DH thought it was no big deal but it was to me because I didn't need her there at 7:30 or 8 before I started working. I needed her there from 9 am to 5 pm when I was working. Then the early arrival morphed into arriving at 9:30 and saying she would stay until 5:30. Again, I didn't need her after 5 after I was finished working. Most of the time once I stopped working for the day, the kids only wanted to be with me and she just sat around on her phone.

We rolled with it for around 8 months because she was a fantastic nanny otherwise, but in the end, the firm start & end times didn't work for her.

Agree with PPs, this is a big red flag that needs to be nipped in the bud, and raises concerns about this person's judgement.

If this happened to me, I would ask her to come during the hours we agreed upon when she was hired and I would start looking for someone else. This shows complete lack of judgment and unprofessionalism. I would not want someone with those characteristics responsible for my kids. Not with what nannies make around here.

Yup. It’s definitely a red flag. It’s the FIRST day!

This low grade irritation you’re feeling right now is how you’re going to feel everyday. If anything, you need to start with strict rules in the beginning and then be flexible AFTER you both built trust. That means you don’t ask her to work late for the first few weeks and she doesn’t ask to change the schedule.

This raises red flags for me - asking to essentially change the hours on the first day? When you’ll have no advance notices on days she will be early or late? That is ballsy. I would have told her that it’s fine today, but generally you expect her from 9-5. She doesn’t have to come into your house directly from the subway - she can walk around the block, read, go get a cup of coffee etc. Did you ask if she has the flexibility to stay late on occasion? There may be times when you are running late and she is stuck there even if she has plans, so hopefully the flexibility runs both ways.

I don’t think what you are doing while she is there is relevant. You don’t need to have a job to justify using a nanny. I am a SAHM and have hired many part time sitters for a variety of reasons - taking my special needs child to appts where I couldn’t bring siblings, volunteering, running errands without dragging the kids around, or just so I could relax and sleep during a difficult pregnancy. I wanted someone to come two full days a week so I could schedule dentist appts, lunch with friends, etc far in the future knowing I would have a sitter at home all day every Tuesday and Thursday.

I made the mistake of telling the first sitter that I was flexible and it was no big deal that she was a little late on the first day, I didn’t have any set plans for that first morning. She took that flexibility and ran with it. She would sometimes show up an hour early if she had stayed at her boyfriend’s house nearby (she didn’t ask to leave early but did mark the extra time down so I paid her) and sometimes she would be an hour or two past her ‘start’ time if she went out the night before or stayed at home, which was a longer drive away. I didn’t really need her earlier because I was dropping kids off at school, so I would pay her just for sitting on my door step waiting for me to get home! It got to the point that I would have to let her know when I had a specific appointment to ensure she would be there that time, which defeated the purpose of me having set child care every week instead of booking sitters for each individual appointment! I spoke with her several times about being on time and her set hours, but she kept being late so we had to let her go. Looking back, if I had been strict about the hours from the get go, her inability to be on time would have been evident much earlier and I would have let her go right away instead of dealing with it for months and months.