Anonymous wrote:OP, are you objectively very attractive?

Do you think he's emotionally involved with you?

Yes to both.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a control freak?

Not to me.

Well...

He pays for the roof over your head
He bought your car
He pays for everything you have, in order to have sex with you.

He is a control freak. Perhaps he isn't abusive, doesn't tell you who you can/can't see etc, but he DOES control a lot of your life right now. He has the perfect set up. A wife and kids at home -- good for the image. And you on the side, making sure you're dressed to his liking, in shape, tanned, etc.

On the flip side you have all of this and all you have to do is have sex with the guy when he has time for you. Does he have any say in what you do when he isn't around? Does he get upset or annoyed if you do something he doesn't approve of? What if you're busy and he wants to see you?

OP, are you objectively very attractive?

Do you think he's emotionally involved with you?

Anonymous wrote:Is he a control freak?

Not to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeating this because it has not yet been answered:

OP, he gives you a lump sum of $33k each year for rent: What form does the money come in? Personal check? Bank transfer? Cash?

Who cares? It's going to be a check, he was writing her checks before. So what?

I care. And I'd like to hear OP's answer. Thanks.

Yes, he gives me thousands of dollars in $5 bills that I keep in stacks on the floor of my closet.
I just double-checked my bank account to be able to answer this question. Turns out I was wrong - he transfers three months worth of rent at a time into my checking account.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm curious.

How do you view his family. Are they not important... they just don't affect you?

Have you ever had a relationship with someone who was completely available to you?

I ask because I have a friend who has only ever gone out with (and married) guys who were already with someone.

I respect his family in that when I do not distract him from them when they're talking and he's with me. When he says he has to go because he's expected by his wife I don't plead with him to stay or anything. But I have thought about them a LOT more today doing this thread than I have in the last few years for sure.

Yes, I've gone out exclusively with guys.

?
Guys who were unavailable to commit to you?

Anonymous wrote:OP is full of beans. Her story doesn't add up, plus she seems very detached.

She'd have to be pretty detached to be satisfied with this life and relationship, right? I don't think she is full of beans. It wouldn't surprise me if she has low self esteem or some other emotional problem, but that isn't exactly uncommon.

OP, I hope you are socking away as much cash as possible because this arrangement won't last forever. Are you contributing to an IRA? Do you really need a $2800 apartment?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm curious.

How do you view his family. Are they not important... they just don't affect you?

Have you ever had a relationship with someone who was completely available to you?

I ask because I have a friend who has only ever gone out with (and married) guys who were already with someone.

I respect his family in that when I do not distract him from them when they're talking and he's with me. When he says he has to go because he's expected by his wife I don't plead with him to stay or anything. But I have thought about them a LOT more today doing this thread than I have in the last few years for sure.

Yes, I've gone out exclusively with guys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeating this because it has not yet been answered:

OP, he gives you a lump sum of $33k each year for rent: What form does the money come in? Personal check? Bank transfer? Cash?

Who cares? It's going to be a check, he was writing her checks before. So what?

I care. And I'd like to hear OP's answer. Thanks.

People write checks of that size all the time. It's not like sirens go off and a SWAT team descends every time a check goes over $10K.

Are you OP? If not, I'm still waiting to hear from her. (No swat team, but yes on a paper trail for la wife.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeating this because it has not yet been answered:

OP, he gives you a lump sum of $33k each year for rent: What form does the money come in? Personal check? Bank transfer? Cash?

Who cares? It's going to be a check, he was writing her checks before. So what?

I care. And I'd like to hear OP's answer. Thanks.

People write checks of that size all the time. It's not like sirens go off and a SWAT team descends every time a check goes over $10K.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your TT manual transmission or automatic?

6-speed auto.

LOL. Why bother?

Is he a control freak?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeating this because it has not yet been answered:

OP, he gives you a lump sum of $33k each year for rent: What form does the money come in? Personal check? Bank transfer? Cash?

Who cares? It's going to be a check, he was writing her checks before. So what?

I care. And I'd like to hear OP's answer. Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So.. you're with him for the lifestyle and sex. You don't care that he's sleeping with his wife. You don't even care that he's married. You obviously aren't concerned with how your affair with him may some day affect his children. You aren't in love with him. A pregnancy would simply mean an abortion. An STD = antibiotics.

What if you end up with AIDS?
How would you react to his wife confronting you and telling you to leave her husband alone? You're not in love with him and are quite sure you could support yourself so would you leave him alone?
What would it take for you to leave him?

There's no reason my relationship has to affect his children. I'm certainly not going to tell them, and neither is he. It's really up to he and I if we continue our relationship. His wife doesn't know me. She's not going to confront me. I don't think they're having sex. I do think she knows he's with someone and looks the other way because it means he doesn't bother her for the sex she won't give him. I'd leave him if this wasn't working for us.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Time he spends with you is time he is NOT spending with his kids. If you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong.

Eh, but this isn't on the OP. Someone like this - he'll just find someone else. Not saying she's someone to look up to, but her presence or absence won't really impact this guy's relationship with his kids or the time he spends with them.

OP is full of beans. Her story doesn't add up, plus she seems very detached.