Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you recommend refusing food? (Not dessert—proteins, main courses.) My child was malnourished as an infant. Insatiable once we met her. Should I have denied my 12 month old extra chicken and pear because her siblings would not have eaten so much and my friends’ kids did not? For the record, she wouldn’t eat what was in one hand until she had something in the other hand so she could be sure there was something more.
She is currently obese. Everyone judges me for it. So I’d like the honest answer of whether I failed in denying her seconds at 9 months? 2 years? What’s the magic age at which it’s ok for her to feel insecure because she’s afraid she won’t have enough food? Seriously—I think about it every day so I’d like the experts to tell me where I screwed up.

I think around K or 1st is when you can say: that’s enough food, dinner is over and if you’re still hungry you can have some carrot or celery sticks.

One thing to teach them is not to eat until their stomach is full because it takes a while to gauge fullness. So if you’ve eaten to the point of complete fullness then you start to feel overfull later on.

You also have to recognize their triggers. For instance if they are “bored” eaters then have a plan to play outside or walk immediately after dinner.

In your daughter’s case, since there is legitimate trauma to work through, perhaps therapy is in order.

Wow someone with some sense! That’s not what pp wants to hear though. Her daughter is obese and it’s no one’s fault and there is nothing anyone can do!

I was in target yesterday and I saw an obese woman and her equally obese 6-7 year old and this poor child was so large they were struggling to walk. I don’t understand how people can let that happen to their kids.

I’m the parent here. I never said no one’s at fault. My child has been in therapy and has had a nutritionist for many years. Both agree on not limiting nutritious food. We limit dessert and junk in a way parents of her skinny friends do not need to. But it’s always interesting to hear what the people who are judging her on the playground and in dance class think is the right answer based on their education and experience with childhood trauma.

I mean the answer was not to let her become obese in the first place. You are the parent. The only way a one year old can eat themselves into obesity is if the patents allow and enable it. But of course it is easier to let your toddler shovel endless amount of food down their gullet than dealing with them crying I guess!

Why are you equating obesity with “unhealthy?”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you recommend refusing food? (Not dessert—proteins, main courses.) My child was malnourished as an infant. Insatiable once we met her. Should I have denied my 12 month old extra chicken and pear because her siblings would not have eaten so much and my friends’ kids did not? For the record, she wouldn’t eat what was in one hand until she had something in the other hand so she could be sure there was something more.
She is currently obese. Everyone judges me for it. So I’d like the honest answer of whether I failed in denying her seconds at 9 months? 2 years? What’s the magic age at which it’s ok for her to feel insecure because she’s afraid she won’t have enough food? Seriously—I think about it every day so I’d like the experts to tell me where I screwed up.

I think around K or 1st is when you can say: that’s enough food, dinner is over and if you’re still hungry you can have some carrot or celery sticks.

One thing to teach them is not to eat until their stomach is full because it takes a while to gauge fullness. So if you’ve eaten to the point of complete fullness then you start to feel overfull later on.

You also have to recognize their triggers. For instance if they are “bored” eaters then have a plan to play outside or walk immediately after dinner.

In your daughter’s case, since there is legitimate trauma to work through, perhaps therapy is in order.

Wow someone with some sense! That’s not what pp wants to hear though. Her daughter is obese and it’s no one’s fault and there is nothing anyone can do!

I was in target yesterday and I saw an obese woman and her equally obese 6-7 year old and this poor child was so large they were struggling to walk. I don’t understand how people can let that happen to their kids.

I’m the parent here. I never said no one’s at fault. My child has been in therapy and has had a nutritionist for many years. Both agree on not limiting nutritious food. We limit dessert and junk in a way parents of her skinny friends do not need to. But it’s always interesting to hear what the people who are judging her on the playground and in dance class think is the right answer based on their education and experience with childhood trauma.

I mean the answer was not to let her become obese in the first place. You are the parent. The only way a one year old can eat themselves into obesity is if the patents allow and enable it. But of course it is easier to let your toddler shovel endless amount of food down their gullet than dealing with them crying I guess!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?

Why does it matter? She she not have married him bc he was a chubby kid?

She would have been clued in a lot sooner and could changed behavior sooner. I can’t imagine being married 10+ years without ever seeing a single childhood photo of my husband. That’s a first time home to meet the parents activity.

Change what behavior? She already said her child has never even had McD or soda, is active, eats heathy, but she just eats more. You can only limit food
and portions when they are young children. Once kids are old enough to can get themselves food, if they are hungry they will find food and eat it.

Portions. Balance of carbs and protein. Exercise choices and scheduling. It’s very helpful to know what your child is predisposed to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?

Why does it matter? She she not have married him bc he was a chubby kid?

She would have been clued in a lot sooner and could changed behavior sooner. I can’t imagine being married 10+ years without ever seeing a single childhood photo of my husband. That’s a first time home to meet the parents activity.

Change what behavior? She already said her child has never even had McD or soda, is active, eats heathy, but she just eats more. You can only limit food
and portions when they are young children. Once kids are old enough to can get themselves food, if they are hungry they will find food and eat it.

The idea is that you teach them how to listen to their bodies and also be aware of unhealthy cravings to manage for themselves when they do get to make their own decisions.

That little voice that says “I would like the entire box of chocolates but I’m just going to have one because a whole box is too much”

I had a mom who let me eat anything and everything and I was chubby. I had a 6’6” brother who could eat anything and never get fat. I developed an eating disorder because when I realized the amount and types of food I was eating was unhealthy and that I was objectively obese, I had no safe way to lose the weight or understand how to eat healthy so I just didn’t eat. Or I ate and purged via exercise or vomiting.

I have plenty of hang ups with my Mom that she took the “easy” way out instead of teaching me that my brother and I had different needs and it was fair to educate us differently about our own bodies. In fact, that’s the ultimate fairness. To do the hard thing - the right thing - which was not allowing us both to eat 4K calories a day.

She took the easy way out and I will live with it for the rest of my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you recommend refusing food? (Not dessert—proteins, main courses.) My child was malnourished as an infant. Insatiable once we met her. Should I have denied my 12 month old extra chicken and pear because her siblings would not have eaten so much and my friends’ kids did not? For the record, she wouldn’t eat what was in one hand until she had something in the other hand so she could be sure there was something more.
She is currently obese. Everyone judges me for it. So I’d like the honest answer of whether I failed in denying her seconds at 9 months? 2 years? What’s the magic age at which it’s ok for her to feel insecure because she’s afraid she won’t have enough food? Seriously—I think about it every day so I’d like the experts to tell me where I screwed up.

I think around K or 1st is when you can say: that’s enough food, dinner is over and if you’re still hungry you can have some carrot or celery sticks.

One thing to teach them is not to eat until their stomach is full because it takes a while to gauge fullness. So if you’ve eaten to the point of complete fullness then you start to feel overfull later on.

You also have to recognize their triggers. For instance if they are “bored” eaters then have a plan to play outside or walk immediately after dinner.

In your daughter’s case, since there is legitimate trauma to work through, perhaps therapy is in order.

Wow someone with some sense! That’s not what pp wants to hear though. Her daughter is obese and it’s no one’s fault and there is nothing anyone can do!

I was in target yesterday and I saw an obese woman and her equally obese 6-7 year old and this poor child was so large they were struggling to walk. I don’t understand how people can let that happen to their kids.

I’m the parent here. I never said no one’s at fault. My child has been in therapy and has had a nutritionist for many years. Both agree on not limiting nutritious food. We limit dessert and junk in a way parents of her skinny friends do not need to. But it’s always interesting to hear what the people who are judging her on the playground and in dance class think is the right answer based on their education and experience with childhood trauma.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?

Why does it matter? She she not have married him bc he was a chubby kid?

She would have been clued in a lot sooner and could changed behavior sooner. I can’t imagine being married 10+ years without ever seeing a single childhood photo of my husband. That’s a first time home to meet the parents activity.

Change what behavior? She already said her child has never even had McD or soda, is active, eats heathy, but she just eats more. You can only limit food
and portions when they are young children. Once kids are old enough to can get themselves food, if they are hungry they will find food and eat it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Swimming at the pool this year and have really noticed a lot of chunky kids. I know a lot of kids are overweight and obese now but it still surprises me every time I see kids who are clearly overweight at a young age.

DH and I had the opposite problem growing up and our kids are sharing our genetics. No matter how much they eat they can’t really gain weight. Our 9.5 year old only weighs 66 pounds and eats like a horse!

A friend of mine said her 8 year old weighed 100 pounds!

My kids don’t eat perfectly healthy all the time and do eat junk food so it’s not like they aren’t also consuming the highly processed food. I just feel bad for kids having to go through this at such a young age.

What a weird exhibit of concern trolling.

Oh please. You know it’s a problem and I’m guessing you’re one of the parents who have no regard for the long term well being of your children’s health.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the kids are chunky due to a thyroid issue?

You don’t know.

2/3 of the population have a thyroid issue? No.

Maybe the kids are chunky due to a thyroid issue?

You don’t know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?

Why does it matter? She she not have married him bc he was a chubby kid?

She would have been clued in a lot sooner and could changed behavior sooner. I can’t imagine being married 10+ years without ever seeing a single childhood photo of my husband. That’s a first time home to meet the parents activity.

Not PP, but when kids grow up in foster care, there's no home to visit and childhood photos are rare (sharing as a sensitivity check, though from the sounds of it, you likely don't care).

Not remotely what we were discussing. Try to focus.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?

Why does it matter? She she not have married him bc he was a chubby kid?

She would have been clued in a lot sooner and could changed behavior sooner. I can’t imagine being married 10+ years without ever seeing a single childhood photo of my husband. That’s a first time home to meet the parents activity.

Not PP, but when kids grow up in foster care, there's no home to visit and childhood photos are rare (sharing as a sensitivity check, though from the sounds of it, you likely don't care).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?

Why does it matter? She she not have married him bc he was a chubby kid?

She would have been clued in a lot sooner and could changed behavior sooner. I can’t imagine being married 10+ years without ever seeing a single childhood photo of my husband. That’s a first time home to meet the parents activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?

Why does it matter? She she not have married him bc he was a chubby kid?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you recommend refusing food? (Not dessert—proteins, main courses.) My child was malnourished as an infant. Insatiable once we met her. Should I have denied my 12 month old extra chicken and pear because her siblings would not have eaten so much and my friends’ kids did not? For the record, she wouldn’t eat what was in one hand until she had something in the other hand so she could be sure there was something more.
She is currently obese. Everyone judges me for it. So I’d like the honest answer of whether I failed in denying her seconds at 9 months? 2 years? What’s the magic age at which it’s ok for her to feel insecure because she’s afraid she won’t have enough food? Seriously—I think about it every day so I’d like the experts to tell me where I screwed up.

I think around K or 1st is when you can say: that’s enough food, dinner is over and if you’re still hungry you can have some carrot or celery sticks.

One thing to teach them is not to eat until their stomach is full because it takes a while to gauge fullness. So if you’ve eaten to the point of complete fullness then you start to feel overfull later on.

You also have to recognize their triggers. For instance if they are “bored” eaters then have a plan to play outside or walk immediately after dinner.

In your daughter’s case, since there is legitimate trauma to work through, perhaps therapy is in order.

Wow someone with some sense! That’s not what pp wants to hear though. Her daughter is obese and it’s no one’s fault and there is nothing anyone can do!

I was in target yesterday and I saw an obese woman and her equally obese 6-7 year old and this poor child was so large they were struggling to walk. I don’t understand how people can let that happen to their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a chunky kid. She is hungry ALL THE TIME. We emphasize protein and healthy eating and yet she’s still hungry. She does sports most days after school, I don’t think she’s ever had soda or McDonalds, we walk the dog together every day.
I was super skinny as a kid and dont get it. But my MIL recently sent a bunch of pics of my husband as a kid and he was really chunky. It finally clicked that this is genetics at play.

You never saw kid pictures of your husband until now?

No is that a problem?

It’s pretty darn weird. Are you estranged from his family? Never been to his childhood home? They have no photo albums? Never asked him, hey what did you like like as a kid?