They're just trying to say something nice to you. It's not that deep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

It's funny. In all the older couples i know the sahm is the most functional out of the two spouses. I mean physically, financially, in terms of logic and practical skills. My dad would be 100% lost without my mom, my mom would be 100% fine without my dad.

Your dad is just dumb. Sorry.

LOL. NP but in my family my mom worked and my dad was a SAHP and it's the same. My mom is the most functional of the 2 of them and always has been-physically, cognitively, financially, in terms of logic and practical skills. It's always been that way. When my dad was a SAHD he dropped the ball on SO many things and my mom did everything. He's not dumb though. he's actually highly intelligent but he is also very lazy and very self centered and doesn't bother to learn how to do household management type stuff. He was a lousy SAHD and just a lousy dad in general. Maybe it's just that a lot of men aren't good at life and a lot of women are?

I think you're reading too much into it.

I've even said something similar to Dink coworkers. Like, if they are jetting off to some tropical locale for a spur of the moment trip, I might say "Gosh, that sounds great. You guys really did it right. I'll be stuck at softball fields in the humidity for the long weekend. Bora-Bora sounds so much better."

But in reality, I wouldn't miss DD's softball game and if I had the chance to do it again, I would still have kids

Eh, I daydream about being DINKs sometimes, just because I love travel, and it's easier without kids. But honestly, I absolutely enjoy life with our kids overall.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids of my own yet but I highly, highly doubt people are telling OP they wish they didn't have kids. This sounds like the fantasy of a rabid childfree person.

That being said, parents who insist they feel sorry for people who are happily childfree are weird too.

I hear parents say they would love a break, complain about any number of things, sure, but no one wished they never had kids. It's hard to describe that parent child bond- It's not something that anyone can explain to others.

Right, but DINKS* would have you believe randoms are just walking up to them on the street like, "Omg, your life looks so cool! I was happy being a parent but then I saw a DINK couple day drinking. So I sold my baby. I wish I had aborted them." Like wtf?

Also DINK women are constantly talking about how dads lust after them. The majority of moms I know are very attractive, not stretch mark-riddled Cathy cartoons.

*Please stop calling yourselves DINKS. Other people can call you DINKS but you should not.

Put down the wine glass and maybe go for a nice walk outside. Touch grass, as the kids say. Speaking of kids, maybe call one of yours? You are sounding very unhappy, and although a call from you will likely bring their day down, it might make you feel better, and that's what's really important, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids of my own yet but I highly, highly doubt people are telling OP they wish they didn't have kids. This sounds like the fantasy of a rabid childfree person.

That being said, parents who insist they feel sorry for people who are happily childfree are weird too.

I hear parents say they would love a break, complain about any number of things, sure, but no one wished they never had kids. It's hard to describe that parent child bond- It's not something that anyone can explain to others.

Right, but DINKS* would have you believe randoms are just walking up to them on the street like, "Omg, your life looks so cool! I was happy being a parent but then I saw a DINK couple day drinking. So I sold my baby. I wish I had aborted them." Like wtf?

Also DINK women are constantly talking about how dads lust after them. The majority of moms I know are very attractive, not stretch mark-riddled Cathy cartoons.

*Please stop calling yourselves DINKS. Other people can call you DINKS but you should not.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids of my own yet but I highly, highly doubt people are telling OP they wish they didn't have kids. This sounds like the fantasy of a rabid childfree person.

That being said, parents who insist they feel sorry for people who are happily childfree are weird too.

I hear parents say they would love a break, complain about any number of things, sure, but no one wished they never had kids. It's hard to describe that parent child bond- It's not something that anyone can explain to others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

This. We have DINK friends and say this sort of thing to them all the time.

+1 we feel like we have to say something. But it's more to just be polite and gloss over that for US our kids are seriously the best part of living. And they can't relate.

I don't have kids of my own yet but I highly, highly doubt people are telling OP they wish they didn't have kids. This sounds like the fantasy of a rabid childfree person.

That being said, parents who insist they feel sorry for people who are happily childfree are weird too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

This. We have DINK friends and say this sort of thing to them all the time.

That’s not polite, but patronizing.
If your friends are content, and yet you choose to pity them, it suggests you’re insecure in your own choices and feel threatened. Do you feel judged by them?

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

This. We have DINK friends and say this sort of thing to them all the time.

Anonymous wrote:I would say that to you too! Oh Wow lucky you! Having fun! I AM appreciating that aspect of ur life that is free and fun, coz of no kids.... but at the same time, for me, with ALLLL it's many many responsibilities and challenges (and there are many) life without my kids is just empty.

So don't be too smug about such comments!

I would say that to you too! Oh Wow lucky you! Having fun! I AM appreciating that aspect of ur life that is free and fun, coz of no kids.... but at the same time, for me, with ALLLL it's many many responsibilities and challenges (and there are many) life without my kids is just empty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow you all, seriously everyone, DINKS and SAHMs and working moms and childless by choice and everyone else, on this thread sounds SO happy and fulfilled in their lives.

/s

+1

I posted a few pages back that the only people upset about this stuff are unhappy with their own choices.

It’s mind boggling how many angry people are out there hating on others because of their reproductive and employment decisions.

I have 3 kids and a full time job. I am happy. I hope others find their happiness in whatever form that may be. Kids. No kids. Big career. Part time career. SAH. And none of it has any bearing on my life choices.

+1

If you are sure in your choices, you wouldn’t be looking for a confirmation from others.
I always wanted kids, I am so lucky I could have them (after battling infertility). I don’t care that you don’t have kids, and I never ask whether it’s by choice or not.