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Anonymous wrote:It seems like many people commenting that they would never take anything from their kids when they are elderly and have no problems with “resources flowing down.” That is rich people perspective…talk about entitlement. If my kids didn’t offer their first class tickets to their grandparents by their own accord, I would be super disappointed with how I have raised my kids with no values.

Can you not see that different people have different values? In certain cultures the young pay for the old. In others it’s considered offensive for the elders to receive any gifts/money from younger generations. My grandmother writes us checks on her birthday. The only thing I can give her without risk of offending her is flowers.

This is me. I make probably 10x what my grandmother has total and she still sends me a $50 check for my birthday. If we get her something nice, we have to downplay it or she is very insulted.

But in the situation at hand, my parents could never afford to take my family on a Greek cruise and fly business class. But we can, and if we invited them of course we would pay for them. Who invites people and then expects them to pay their way? It's just bad manners. My parents would never "invite" us to cruise Greek and expect us to foot the bill. We would be the ones to make it happen. Do you all "parents pay" people invite your parents to dinner then sit back and wait for them to grab the bill? Or do you just let them do all the inviting?

It's about being open and clear in communication. We don't know how it was initially discussed. If it was "we are doing this cruise, but it taps out on our cash budget for travel this year. We would love to do it together if you can cover your airfare and the cruise" then that is clear and open. I have plenty of friends who don't maybe exactly "invite" me to dinner but ask if I want to go out. Sometimes we pay our own bills. Sometimes the friend says it's their treat, sometimes I say it's mine. If we say it upfront from the beginning, that's open and clear communication and nobody gets the wrong idea or feels misled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like many people commenting that they would never take anything from their kids when they are elderly and have no problems with “resources flowing down.” That is rich people perspective…talk about entitlement. If my kids didn’t offer their first class tickets to their grandparents by their own accord, I would be super disappointed with how I have raised my kids with no values.

Can you not see that different people have different values? In certain cultures the young pay for the old. In others it’s considered offensive for the elders to receive any gifts/money from younger generations. My grandmother writes us checks on her birthday. The only thing I can give her without risk of offending her is flowers.

This is me. I make probably 10x what my grandmother has total and she still sends me a $50 check for my birthday. If we get her something nice, we have to downplay it or she is very insulted.

But in the situation at hand, my parents could never afford to take my family on a Greek cruise and fly business class. But we can, and if we invited them of course we would pay for them. Who invites people and then expects them to pay their way? It's just bad manners. My parents would never "invite" us to cruise Greek and expect us to foot the bill. We would be the ones to make it happen. Do you all "parents pay" people invite your parents to dinner then sit back and wait for them to grab the bill? Or do you just let them do all the inviting?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like many people commenting that they would never take anything from their kids when they are elderly and have no problems with “resources flowing down.” That is rich people perspective…talk about entitlement. If my kids didn’t offer their first class tickets to their grandparents by their own accord, I would be super disappointed with how I have raised my kids with no values.

Can you not see that different people have different values? In certain cultures the young pay for the old. In others it’s considered offensive for the elders to receive any gifts/money from younger generations. My grandmother writes us checks on her birthday. The only thing I can give her without risk of offending her is flowers.

This is me. I make probably 10x what my grandmother has total and she still sends me a $50 check for my birthday. If we get her something nice, we have to downplay it or she is very insulted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like many people commenting that they would never take anything from their kids when they are elderly and have no problems with “resources flowing down.” That is rich people perspective…talk about entitlement. If my kids didn’t offer their first class tickets to their grandparents by their own accord, I would be super disappointed with how I have raised my kids with no values.

Can you not see that different people have different values? In certain cultures the young pay for the old. In others it’s considered offensive for the elders to receive any gifts/money from younger generations. My grandmother writes us checks on her birthday. The only thing I can give her without risk of offending her is flowers.

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Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

No. Resources should flow from well-off to less well-off.

I just cannot put "resource" this category. It's a luxury item, not deciding how you are going to pay for college.

It's a type of currency, so it's certainly a resource. Resources that DH acquired through his hard work. I'm guessing that the reason DH works hard is to provide for his kids, not his in-laws. They should benefit from Dad's efforts, and travel in luxury with him.

+ 1 I’m a DW who is the primary breadwinner in our family and while it saddens me that my work limits the amount of time I’m able to spend with my kids on a day to day basis I get great pleasure in planning special trips together and treating my children to luxuries I didn’t have growing up. If my DH invited his parents/my in-laws (that I already tolerate at best) to join our trip with us subsidizing them and they then had the gaul to demand my kids give up their more desirable seats that I had worked hard to provide, splitting up our nuclear family, I would completely lose it. And yes I would feel the same way about my own biological family members trying to pull this garbage.

+1, LMAO

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Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

No. Resources should flow from well-off to less well-off.

I just cannot put "resource" this category. It's a luxury item, not deciding how you are going to pay for college.

It's a type of currency, so it's certainly a resource. Resources that DH acquired through his hard work. I'm guessing that the reason DH works hard is to provide for his kids, not his in-laws. They should benefit from Dad's efforts, and travel in luxury with him.

+ 1 I’m a DW who is the primary breadwinner in our family and while it saddens me that my work limits the amount of time I’m able to spend with my kids on a day to day basis I get great pleasure in planning special trips together and treating my children to luxuries I didn’t have growing up. If my DH invited his parents/my in-laws (that I already tolerate at best) to join our trip with us subsidizing them and they then had the gaul to demand my kids give up their more desirable seats that I had worked hard to provide, splitting up our nuclear family, I would completely lose it. And yes I would feel the same way about my own biological family members trying to pull this garbage.

100%. And listening to people call them "free" tickets just pisses me off.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how the family dynamic is so selfish all around. I would definitely make my teenagers sit in coach and give my parents the upgraded seats. In fact it would give me so much joy to give up my seat to have my parents sit in comfort. Wait till you are your parents age. Your kids won’t be giving you any business class seats. SMH

I won't expect my kids to pay for my plane tickets. And I won't try to take seats from my grandkids. I'm an adult, and adults pay for their own plane tickets.

This is White people thinking. Just unbelievably self-focused.

It's self-focused to not expect my kids to pay for my airline tickets someday? Sure, if they wanted to and can afford to do so, I wouldn't object. But, it's incredibly self-focused to expect your kids to spend money on you.

Resources should flow downwards.

No. Resources should flow from well-off to less well-off.

I just cannot put "resource" this category. It's a luxury item, not deciding how you are going to pay for college.

It's a type of currency, so it's certainly a resource. Resources that DH acquired through his hard work. I'm guessing that the reason DH works hard is to provide for his kids, not his in-laws. They should benefit from Dad's efforts, and travel in luxury with him.

+ 1 I’m a DW who is the primary breadwinner in our family and while it saddens me that my work limits the amount of time I’m able to spend with my kids on a day to day basis I get great pleasure in planning special trips together and treating my children to luxuries I didn’t have growing up. If my DH invited his parents/my in-laws (that I already tolerate at best) to join our trip with us subsidizing them and they then had the gaul to demand my kids give up their more desirable seats that I had worked hard to provide, splitting up our nuclear family, I would completely lose it. And yes I would feel the same way about my own biological family members trying to pull this garbage.

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents are exhibiting typical boomer behaviors. These grandparents are as entitled as many think the grandchildren might be. Who buys a cheap ass fair, knowing they have a physical issue and expects younger folks to bail them out?! (Boomers…that’s who!) Always looking for the grift and the handout at everyone else’s (including their own children and grandchildren’s) expense.

Can’t wait for the boomer generation to sweep themselves into the dustbin of history over the next 20 years. Let them stay home.

Anonymous wrote:Sixteen and fourteen year olds are fine in coach.

I'd definitely put my parents in first class so they are more comfortable.

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Anonymous wrote:The idea of being on the same flight with my parents and kids and having my parents sit uncomfortably while we all lounge in business makes me really uncomfortable and I would never do it. I think it’s rude if your parents to demand it, but you should teach your kids that it’s appropriate for them to give up their seats for their grandparents. The kids didn’t earn or pay for the seats either so I don’t really see why they need payment for them, but it would be a nice gesture from the grandparents

1000% agree with this. IMO the biggest jerk here is OP’s husband, and OP is complicit in allowing him to spoil their teenagers at the expense of her parents. Gross.

Not sure I understand. The husband is already paying for his in-laws’ hotel expenses in Athens. He paid for his own family’s cruise costs and travel expenses. He invited his in-laws to his family vacation. He offered to heavily subsidize his in-laws’ purchase of business class airfare. For all this…he receives…nothing in return?!? The grandparents should be footing the bill for everything. Money flows down. Always.

Always? Someone please explain this mentality to me.

Anonymous wrote:Zoomers need to give the Boomers their seats.

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Anonymous wrote:The idea of being on the same flight with my parents and kids and having my parents sit uncomfortably while we all lounge in business makes me really uncomfortable and I would never do it. I think it’s rude if your parents to demand it, but you should teach your kids that it’s appropriate for them to give up their seats for their grandparents. The kids didn’t earn or pay for the seats either so I don’t really see why they need payment for them, but it would be a nice gesture from the grandparents

1000% agree with this. IMO the biggest jerk here is OP’s husband, and OP is complicit in allowing him to spoil their teenagers at the expense of her parents. Gross.

Not sure I understand. The husband is already paying for his in-laws’ hotel expenses in Athens. He paid for his own family’s cruise costs and travel expenses. He invited his in-laws to his family vacation. He offered to heavily subsidize his in-laws’ purchase of business class airfare. For all this…he receives…nothing in return?!? The grandparents should be footing the bill for everything. Money flows down. Always.

Always? Someone please explain this mentality to me.

Super easy. Under normal circumstances, accumulation of experience, wisdom, and wealth monotonically increases with age. The ONLY situations in which it doesn’t is when individuals cut corners, become lazy, and decide to take more than they give. Any grandparent that takes from their kids and grandkids is total trash. There is no greater sign of failure or insult in life than having to ask your decedents for assistance of any kind.

Ridiculous. We make far more money than our parents so it's easier for us to pay. Dare to dream PP that someday you can pay your own way in life. Work hard.

WRONG!! You absolutely should be making more money than your parents. Otherwise, you’re a failure too. Wealth and success are intended to propagate forward. Full stop. Your parents should be living a comfortable and conservative lifestyle, with all excess wealth used to empower your success. The INSTANT you flow money back, you’re robbing either society or your own decedents from a material and meaningful advancement.