Anonymous wrote:I got married 23 years ago and kept my name. Why would I take a man's name? It's just weird to me and my husband didn't want me to do it, either. He is a feminist.

odd

A person can use their spouse's name socially, but keep their maiden name 'legally' as their govt name.

I actually did take my now-ex's name, and kept it after divorce because of my own lack of a middle name (I used Larla Maidenname Exname for over 25 years) so not wanting to lose a middle name I didn't change it legally-but I use Larla Maidenname socially, everywhere I don't need an ID.

A person who wants to keep their maidenname but have a family name could do just the opposite and that would work.

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing that so many people claim they didn't change their name or that no one they knew did. This is the definition of a bubble not the same as the rest of the united states or even the DMV area.

Nope, I was living in NC when I didn't change my name. It depended on when friends were married - if they married early, pre grad school or didn't have a professional job, they changed their names.

If they married after grad school or after they've been working for a while as a lawyer, Doctor, teacher, etc ... they tended to keep their names. This was back in the 90s.

I kept my name.

It destroyed my husband’s relationship with his parents, they simply can’t get over it and don’t consider us family. Haven’t seen them since 6 weeks before the wedding. To be fair, I told me then fiancé to get out ahead of it and he did not so they were shocked as the wedding approached. Sad.

My parents are more understanding but still mail cards to a name that’s not mine. It’s ridiculous. All of the above are black 63-65 year olds.

But no regrets.

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is that it is a PITA to change your last name. Its been years and still once in a while, I will go to, say, book a flight but realize by airline FF account has my maiden name. And no you can't just update your name easily, you have to fill out forms and send marriage certificates. I knew the big things to update, but then there are also a million other things. Such a hassle.

It is a pain. I changed my name after my first child was born (10 months after I got married) and it was a pain. My surname is British but very uncommon, as is my first name. I was happy to have one name (husband’s surname) that was easy for others’ to both spell and pronounce.

I got married 23 years ago and kept my name. Why would I take a man's name? It's just weird to me and my husband didn't want me to do it, either. He is a feminist.

Anonymous wrote:

Let's make things clear: I'm not ChatGPT, but I'm here to provide information and facilitate a respectful discussion. Please, let's refrain from introducing personal bias and liberal views into the conversation. It's important to approach this topic with an open and balanced perspective. The 85% statistic represents a widely observed cultural practice in the United States, and our aim is to discuss it objectively and respectfully.

This was definitely written by a bot.

No one appointed you facilitator of anything.

This entire thread and indeed every post on DCUM is a reflection of personal bias. Liberal views or not.

No one appointed you in charge of what "our" aim is, or how it ought to be discussed.

I mean look, the bot inputs are very very obvious so I'm not quite sure what you hope to achieve by this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

Who cares?

I would have avoided him and his friends like the plague in my dating years.

Let me guess, your dream wife needs to be pretty, know her place and welcome you home with a nice drink every night after work?

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

Who cares?

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing that so many people claim they didn't change their name or that no one they knew did. This is the definition of a bubble not the same as the rest of the united states or even the DMV area.

Yes love my bubble!

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing that so many people claim they didn't change their name or that no one they knew did. This is the definition of a bubble not the same as the rest of the united states or even the DMV area.

I live in Michigan and know many women who didn't change their name.

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

Tell us more about yourself - age, location, profession, so we know how to find men like you.

Anonymous wrote:Never thought of changing my last name just bc it seems like such a hassle to deal with paperwork. It’s not broke so no need to fix it. P

Exactly. Not sure what people refer to when they say that having different last names complicates things…

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing that so many people claim they didn't change their name or that no one they knew did. This is the definition of a bubble not the same as the rest of the united states or even the DMV area.

Happy to be in my bubble then!

Anyway, most of our ancestors had no last names. They're a relatively recent thing. People got along fine without them for millennia. People in other parts of the world get along fine with different naming customs than ours. We can get along fine with a diversity of naming decisions here in the US. It's not the end of the world if some women change their names and others don't, if some men change their names and others don't, if some people give their daughters one last name and sons another, if some families take on a whole new surname, if some families hyphenate names and others just add an extra name at the end. No one will perish because of such decisions.

It's amazing that so many people claim they didn't change their name or that no one they knew did. This is the definition of a bubble not the same as the rest of the united states or even the DMV area.