Anonymous wrote:Her post was more focused on people not even sending in notebooks that the teacher asked for never mind party money. And that people should be more willing to help the teachers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

That’s not the point. Some parties have pizza. Some don’t. Point is, is someone else steps up to fill a job that helps your family in some way, and you didn’t do anything to help in form the ideas of how things would be formulated (be a co roomparent), then you should pony up and pay even if it isn’t how you’d do a party if you were throwing it bc you didn’t otherwise step up. You don’t like it? Be room parent next time. None of this applies if you really can’t afford it. If you personally (not received a donation) paid $55 for the box of school supplies from the school at the beginning of the year, you can afford to pay.

I’ve been a room parent many times and not a room parent many times. Plenty of times I’ve not liked how others have done a job as room parent or a volunteer job in the pta or a volunteer job at a fundraising event elsewhere. Heck, I didn’t even like once how some of the decisions were made about the scheduling and planning for a family reunion. But If I didn’t step up and volunteer to do the planning - I kept my yapper shut and did what I was told, showed up when asked and paid what was needed. I am room parent and just pay myself. One year (1st grade), the teacher said the kids ran out of notebooks and they needed them for writing. (At the beginning the the year, I asked her what she wanted me to help her with and this was one thing- communicate with parents about school supplies). She asked me to ask the parents to please send in notebooks. I did. She emailed me saying 4 notebooks came in. My kid’s was one of them. I sent 3 emails about it. 10 days later I purchased the notebooks myself. This was in McLean. Gmafb with this lazy ass, cheap ass attitude of non responsiveness.

You really equate the ability to pay for basic school supplies for the ability to pay for extravagant parties? Pretty sad that you don't see the difference between he two.

And you also don't see the difference between an event at a public school v some private institution, a school or otherwise. You don't get to simply decide people should pony up for what you want just because they aren't a room parent. This holds true regardless of whether they are able to afford it or not. It is not your money and you don't get to spend other people's money for a public school event.

You sound like you might just be happier sending our kids to private school, and I am sure other parents in your class would. Maybe they would help pony up for your tuition.

Please tell me where my post said anything about paying for extravagant parties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

That’s not the point. Some parties have pizza. Some don’t. Point is, is someone else steps up to fill a job that helps your family in some way, and you didn’t do anything to help in form the ideas of how things would be formulated (be a co roomparent), then you should pony up and pay even if it isn’t how you’d do a party if you were throwing it bc you didn’t otherwise step up. You don’t like it? Be room parent next time. None of this applies if you really can’t afford it. If you personally (not received a donation) paid $55 for the box of school supplies from the school at the beginning of the year, you can afford to pay.

I’ve been a room parent many times and not a room parent many times. Plenty of times I’ve not liked how others have done a job as room parent or a volunteer job in the pta or a volunteer job at a fundraising event elsewhere. Heck, I didn’t even like once how some of the decisions were made about the scheduling and planning for a family reunion. But If I didn’t step up and volunteer to do the planning - I kept my yapper shut and did what I was told, showed up when asked and paid what was needed. I am room parent and just pay myself. One year (1st grade), the teacher said the kids ran out of notebooks and they needed them for writing. (At the beginning the the year, I asked her what she wanted me to help her with and this was one thing- communicate with parents about school supplies). She asked me to ask the parents to please send in notebooks. I did. She emailed me saying 4 notebooks came in. My kid’s was one of them. I sent 3 emails about it. 10 days later I purchased the notebooks myself. This was in McLean. Gmafb with this lazy ass, cheap ass attitude of non responsiveness.

You really equate the ability to pay for basic school supplies for the ability to pay for extravagant parties? Pretty sad that you don't see the difference between he two.

And you also don't see the difference between an event at a public school v some private institution, a school or otherwise. You don't get to simply decide people should pony up for what you want just because they aren't a room parent. This holds true regardless of whether they are able to afford it or not. It is not your money and you don't get to spend other people's money for a public school event.

You sound like you might just be happier sending our kids to private school, and I am sure other parents in your class would. Maybe they would help pony up for your tuition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

That’s not the point. Some parties have pizza. Some don’t. Point is, is someone else steps up to fill a job that helps your family in some way, and you didn’t do anything to help in form the ideas of how things would be formulated (be a co roomparent), then you should pony up and pay even if it isn’t how you’d do a party if you were throwing it bc you didn’t otherwise step up. You don’t like it? Be room parent next time. None of this applies if you really can’t afford it. If you personally (not received a donation) paid $55 for the box of school supplies from the school at the beginning of the year, you can afford to pay.

I’ve been a room parent many times and not a room parent many times. Plenty of times I’ve not liked how others have done a job as room parent or a volunteer job in the pta or a volunteer job at a fundraising event elsewhere. Heck, I didn’t even like once how some of the decisions were made about the scheduling and planning for a family reunion. But If I didn’t step up and volunteer to do the planning - I kept my yapper shut and did what I was told, showed up when asked and paid what was needed. I am room parent and just pay myself. One year (1st grade), the teacher said the kids ran out of notebooks and they needed them for writing. (At the beginning the the year, I asked her what she wanted me to help her with and this was one thing- communicate with parents about school supplies). She asked me to ask the parents to please send in notebooks. I did. She emailed me saying 4 notebooks came in. My kid’s was one of them. I sent 3 emails about it. 10 days later I purchased the notebooks myself. This was in McLean. Gmafb with this lazy ass, cheap ass attitude of non responsiveness.

Anonymous wrote:Parents used to care. Now everyone is “too busy” and forget. Or just don’t think it is a priority.

But then again, having two working parents that pay others to raise their kids - what do you expect? This is what we all wanted, right?

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread when I signed up to send in 5 containers of sprinkles for the upcoming Valentines Day party. Other people are bring icing and paper plates and napkins and juice boxes. 10 parents have been asked to volunteer to man specific stations. Construction paper and extra glue sticks were requested for making a craft, book marks!

No pizza

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and the requests were coming from multiple places: PTA, after school, party fund etc etc. And on a more personal note the room parent tended to get all the benefit of giving the gifts/ parties she used the class money for. Not to mention $135 for pizza pretty pricey.

$135 is insane for pizza. You don't have to give to the PTA. We opt out of the PTA activities after doing them and not seeing the value. I get no benefit except making the kids happy and often I end up supplementing as people don't send in their sign up genius items and often end up paying for the majority of the party.

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again


I have been room parent. Didn't enjoy it, but rolled with it. half the parents didn't give money so I worked with the budget I had. The teacher told me to have a pizza money and I said it was not in the budget. Done. I did find when I put up a sign up for some extra snacks, some of the families who didn't give money did give snacks. Awesome.

I always try to be helpful to the room parent giving money and help. I drew the line this year when the PTA told room parents to hound us over who gave to the PTA fundraiser. I refused to answer because it's inappropriate to take names. It was for a contest. Sorry. Nope. I got 4 reminder emails to tell the room parent if I gave money. I understand she was just following PTA orders, but I found it totally tasteless. (For the record I had given $50 to the PTA fund (below requested amount), but I was offended they were taking names even if they weren't asking amounts.) Next year I will give the money to our favorite charity.

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you have never been a room parent. It is a thankless job. One year, I got drafted by the teacher because no one would volunteer to do it.

It is very frustrating to ask for food, material or financial donations and have half the parents ignore you. This refers to schools with middle to upper middle class populations, NOT to Title I schools or to parents that can’t afford to contribute. They ignore because they can-the party will carry on, either scaled back or funded by the room mom. It’s not right.

I’m amazed at all the comments advocating for no parties. Childhood is about joy...there’s nothing wrong with celebrating life or celebrating holidays.

Op, if pizza is the expectation at your school, scale it back to Costco pizza and mini cupcakes. One dollar store craft, one game. Dollar store tablecloth, one or two balloons.

Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to kick in some money this year as a result of spending more than your budget. But it’s a lesson learned that will carry over if you are ever silly enough to volunteer again

Everyone is giving this woman a hard time and I think her heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, not everyone values the same things for their kids I guess..