Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:45     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


AA woman here.

It depends. Some black women that I know who are married to white men are bourgeois and I usually don't like to be associated with bourgeois people. These same women have the "I was good enough to get a white man" vibe that comes off as a bit smug and superior.

If you're cool and down to earth, I'm happy if you're happy!! And also a little curious...A few of my friends have been trying to broaden their dating pool, but it's been tough.

-Where did you meet your husband?
-I somehow have this impression that white men are romantic. Is this true?


I don't know what you mean by bourgeois. I didn't pledge a sorority or anything...can you define this for me? (Please don't say it means "acting white".)

Men are men. My husband isn't any more romantic than any of the BM I've dated. I met him through a mutual friend who set us up b/c we had a lot of the same interests. I am the first and only BW he's dated/married, although apparently he used to date all different kinds of women.

I find the notion of being "good enough to get a white man" ridiculous, but actually I don't know any other BW who are with WM.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:41     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


AA woman here.

It depends. Some black women that I know who are married to white men are bourgeois and I usually don't like to be associated with bourgeois people. These same women have the "I was good enough to get a white man" vibe that comes off as a bit smug and superior.

If you're cool and down to earth, I'm happy if you're happy!! And also a little curious...A few of my friends have been trying to broaden their dating pool, but it's been tough.

-Where did you meet your husband?
-I somehow have this impression that white men are romantic. Is this true?



Wow, you have balls. First you suggest the the woman may be bourgeois (as in its a bad thing) or smug and then you ask her for tips.


I made no such suggestion. Calm down, Drama Queen. What I said is that some black women that I know are like this. I also said that if she wasn't, then I have no problem. My issue is not with the IR, but rather with the attitudes of some of the women in these IRs (which might color how I see the entire IR).

Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:40     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


Really, even AA women?

- AA woman with several friends who are married to white men.


Yes, even AA women. See the poster above alluding to being bourgie (sp?)
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:38     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


AA woman here.

It depends. Some black women that I know who are married to white men are bourgeois and I usually don't like to be associated with bourgeois people. These same women have the "I was good enough to get a white man" vibe that comes off as a bit smug and superior.

If you're cool and down to earth, I'm happy if you're happy!! And also a little curious...A few of my friends have been trying to broaden their dating pool, but it's been tough.

-Where did you meet your husband?
-I somehow have this impression that white men are romantic. Is this true?


Not the pp you're asking. I have a different question. Define Bourgeois. Does it mean something different to AAs? To me it means middle class.


Can't speak for all, but to me it defines the "brown paper bag" mindset. Qualities include: snobby, elitist, superior, a very subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) need to separate and/or prove they are "not like" others within their race
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:29     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Also, of those 3, one was white, one was black, and one was latino.

And my DH says he's not romantic, but he brings me flowers just because and do nice things with out me even thinking to ask.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:29     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


AA woman here.

It depends. Some black women that I know who are married to white men are bourgeois and I usually don't like to be associated with bourgeois people. These same women have the "I was good enough to get a white man" vibe that comes off as a bit smug and superior.

If you're cool and down to earth, I'm happy if you're happy!! And also a little curious...A few of my friends have been trying to broaden their dating pool, but it's been tough.

-Where did you meet your husband?
-I somehow have this impression that white men are romantic. Is this true?



Wow, you have balls. First you suggest the the woman may be bourgeois (as in its a bad thing) or smug and then you ask her for tips.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:26     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
I met my husband and the last 3 guys I dated (2 of which were long term relationships) online.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:24     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


AA woman here.

It depends. Some black women that I know who are married to white men are bourgeois and I usually don't like to be associated with bourgeois people. These same women have the "I was good enough to get a white man" vibe that comes off as a bit smug and superior.

If you're cool and down to earth, I'm happy if you're happy!! And also a little curious...A few of my friends have been trying to broaden their dating pool, but it's been tough.

-Where did you meet your husband?
-I somehow have this impression that white men are romantic. Is this true?


Not the pp you're asking. I have a different question. Define Bourgeois. Does it mean something different to AAs? To me it means middle class.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:23     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Meant to say she *relayed* a story.....

Ugh
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:23     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:AA here - if you're gonna say black, don't whisper it or lower your voice as if it were something bad. i had someone actually do that to me. "my students are mostly.. you know... black."

and don't say THE BLACKS. i hate that shit.



Yes, yes, a thousand times, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LOL! I know someone who does both. It never bothered me. I thought it was funny because he was so uncomfortable saying it and he was trying his best to not be offensive.


I was talking with a white coworker today. She related a story in which she thought her Southern Mom was being unintentionally racist. She explained how she was mortified, chastised her Mom,etc. Based on the story, it was not offensive in the slightest. I told her that there are some white people who are so afraid of being offensive that they are terrified to even speak to a black person.

I also told her that I'd rather a person be open and unintentionally offensive ( a learning opportunity) than to be too afraid to even talk to a black person.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:20     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


AA woman here.

It depends. Some black women that I know who are married to white men are bourgeois and I usually don't like to be associated with bourgeois people. These same women have the "I was good enough to get a white man" vibe that comes off as a bit smug and superior.

If you're cool and down to earth, I'm happy if you're happy!! And also a little curious...A few of my friends have been trying to broaden their dating pool, but it's been tough.

-Where did you meet your husband?
-I somehow have this impression that white men are romantic. Is this true?
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:17     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...


Really, even AA women?

- AA woman with several friends who are married to white men.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:17     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:AA here - if you're gonna say black, don't whisper it or lower your voice as if it were something bad. i had someone actually do that to me. "my students are mostly.. you know... black."

and don't say THE BLACKS. i hate that shit.



Yes, yes, a thousand times, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LOL! I know someone who does both. It never bothered me. I thought it was funny because he was so uncomfortable saying it and he was trying his best to not be offensive.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:14     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
Anonymous wrote:AA here - if you're gonna say black, don't whisper it or lower your voice as if it were something bad. i had someone actually do that to me. "my students are mostly.. you know... black."

and don't say THE BLACKS. i hate that shit.



Yes, yes, a thousand times, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2012 17:14     Subject: I'm an African American. Ask me anything.
How do you feel about seeing me (AA female) with my husband (WM)? I seem to get the most hostility from other AA...