Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to any fertility clinic and ask the couples there their #1 regret in life. It’s not marrying and/or trying to have kids sooner.

You must know there are tons of young women at IVF clinics who have trouble with fertility. Many 30- and 40-something IVF patients would have had trouble in their twenties, too.

Yes at our clinic the MD said he coulld fix almost anything for 30 and under. 40 and over not so much.

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Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to any fertility clinic and ask the couples there their #1 regret in life. It’s not marrying and/or trying to have kids sooner.

You must know there are tons of young women at IVF clinics who have trouble with fertility. Many 30- and 40-something IVF patients would have had trouble in their twenties, too.

Anonymous wrote:Now that it's hard to afford a house, and careers aren't stable at all, why wait?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to any fertility clinic and ask the couples there their #1 regret in life. It’s not marrying and/or trying to have kids sooner.

I had to do IVF and it was NBD. Plenty of wealthy people do IVF so they can gender select and time a birth.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe.

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown? Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

Anonymous wrote:Go to any fertility clinic and ask the couples there their #1 regret in life. It’s not marrying and/or trying to have kids sooner.

Anonymous wrote:1. It's not like Some magical fairy lands on your shoulder at 30 and makes you mature, wise, and a good partner.
2. Remaining happily married has a lot to do with luck - regardless of age you marry (save the teen marriages that skew the stats)
3. You have to work on being a good partner, making good choices, and learning to live with someone (and their families!) regardless of what age you are.

So, if you want biological children without medical intervention, marry young!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to any fertility clinic and ask the couples there their #1 regret in life. It’s not marrying and/or trying to have kids sooner.

I had to do IVF and it was NBD. Plenty of wealthy people do IVF so they can gender select and time a birth.

Anonymous wrote:Go to any fertility clinic and ask the couples there their #1 regret in life. It’s not marrying and/or trying to have kids sooner.

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Anonymous wrote:All your examples are wealthy children of celebrities. How about the celeb parents married them off to get them out of their house?

It would be invasive and against forum policies to post random young people. You are free to peruse NYT, Wapo, Boston Globe, and Palm Beach newspaper wedding announcements for high born recent college grads marrying at age 22, 23, 24 and 25.

https://www.palmbeachdailynews.com/story/entertainment/society/2024/05/05/2023-2024-season-palm-beach-weddings-and-engagements/73504256007/

I’m only partially through that list, but the ages of the first four brides featured are 49, 31, 45, and 34ish (guessing because she graduated from college in 2011). I’ll keep going… slow day at work…

https://www.palmbeachdailynews.com/story/lifestyle/celebrations/wedding/2024/03/27/bonnie-masters-and-tennant-maxey-affianced-summer-wedding-planned/73118381007/

She graduated from college in 2020, so she’s probably around 25?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Let’s revisit all these couples in 15 years. If they’re still together, great, but I suspect many will not be. These are starter marriages, people, not happily ever afters. We’ve got some real starry-eyed romantics in the crowd, it would appear.

You’re a miserable cynic. Quit projecting your bitterness onto others.

Anonymous wrote: Let’s revisit all these couples in 15 years. If they’re still together, great, but I suspect many will not be. These are starter marriages, people, not happily ever afters. We’ve got some real starry-eyed romantics in the crowd, it would appear.